Do you ever think: how did I get to this point?

cwolfman13

I used to think it was just a matter of getting older, and that's just what happens when you get older...but it bugged me that my best buddy never really got "fat"...he'd put on a little from time to time and then just drop it when he wanted to. Used to make me so jealous and I couldn't understand why he was just "naturally" lean, etc.

I was missing a big piece of the picture though...I'd look at him and the way he eats and compare it to myself...not much different...we both ate a lot and loved food...so what gives? Well, I used to train like a mad man back in the day...I lifted weights frequently and had a pretty good fitness regimen going on. About 10 years ago, I got lazy. I think the biggest thing that hurt me was that I quit lifting...so all of those calories that were going to maintaining and building muscle started going to building and maintaining fat stores. Mean time, my buddy has missed nary a workout in these last 10 years. "Naturally" lean...no! He just didn't get lazy like I did.

Having been here on MFP these last 6 months has taught me how important exercise is, and especially weight training if you like to eat. If I want to eat, I must lift.

_chiaroscuro

Most of us have probably had that "how could I let this happen" moment. Awful as it feels I think it's important, because personally if I don't know why I ended up overweight, my fear is that I'll make it a pattern. If you can understand it, you can conquer it.

But beyond that there's no point in ruminating. Focus on the moment you're in, and the choices you will make today to achieve your goal. And when you slip back into the "how could I" thinking, just kindly remind yourself there's nothing to be gained by dwelling on that. Eventually it will become a very positive new habit.

jaw783

Well no need in focusing on the past. The main thing is you have made a decision to make a change. Congradulate yourself on taking the first step!!!

misseseaj2010

This is the story of my life!

I think my problem is that I don't get big in one area, I just get wider but stay relatively flat. So it's really hard for me to tell on myself that I have gained weight.

One thing I've often wondered is why didn't someone tell me? I mean I know it's a touchy subject but omg I wish my mom, my husband, my sister, ANYONE would have been like hey you've put on some weight. I'm not blaming anyone else but me, but like 50lbs ago I wish someone would have said something to me, and now I wouldn't be 100lbs overweight.

Also going months at a time without getting on a scale doesn't help.

ekahnicole

Oh I most definitely have felt that way. Why wasn't I happier when I was 16 and 135 lbs? Or 18 and 150lbs? Or 20 and 170lbs? But dwelling in the past gets us nowhere. I'm making a change NOW, which is more than what a lot of people do. So I choose to be proud of myself NOW.

bwnorton

When I started in January, I did wonder how I let myself go. I was thin my childhood and through my 20s. Why did I put on weight when I was 35 and then was able to take it off so easily? What changed between then and now?

Why did I think it was OK to be heavy and to then let myself gain a total of 50 pounds through January 1, 2013?

I had to face the brutal fact that I eat to cope with stress or other issues I don't want to face. That was hard. In fact, the hardest part of this journey is realizing why I ate and then breaking the self-destructive nature of my eating habits. Do I really feel better eating that comfort food? Why would I select that salty, sweet and fatty thing to nibble on when I was worried? Is my anxiety cured by that snack?

No.

It's fixed by facing the issue, the person and the trouble head-on.

When I start maintenance, I will need more discipline, as I still have a slightly distorted view of what a portion size is for me. This is truly a story of a journey and not a destination. Stay tuned!

TedStout

Oh heck yes! And when you start to lose weight, you look back on how much is gone, think of lifting that much on you EVERY DAY! I think most of us are in the same boat with you.

FATJAKE5

The only people not thinking, "how did I get to this point", are sleeping in the ground. And even they thought it.

SteelySunshine

Yes. The answer is stress. Now, I am working on ways to combat that without resorting to eating the refined carbs and lots of them that got me here. I am not anti-carb, but seriously I was eating a whole lot of them there would be 90% carb days for me for sure, no one needs that many especially if you are eating like 4000 calories a day.

ac_boubou

God! yes! I think about my weight all the time. How come I became so fat? I'm still in process to find the reasons why I have so much problems to get an healty weight. I have a younger sister who is healty, fit and never had those troubles.
Why me? Well, I love food. I don't eat junk food but I absolutely overeat. I don't exercice enough. And I think too much about my weight.( that's stressful) That's what I found so far.

Now, i'm working on myself to get more fit and have an healty weight. For instance, my Dr. told me that I was obese (based on my IMC). I was shocked. I'm really trying to change that every single day. It's hard, and my weight lost is so slowwwww. (About 10 pounds in 4 months)

I don't give up, if others can do it, I surely can do it too.
So I think it's good to think about what brought us there to never fall again in bad behaviours. Most important: You are asking questions about yourself, so you are conscious that there's something wrong out there.

Keep it up! We worth it!!

Cr01502

I'm sorry are we talking about food here or something else?

ShreddedTweet

Don't think about it like that, just think that this time next year you'll be glad you started today.
I honestly feel like you have to have a cut off point where you think, 'I am never going to be over X weight'. It's probably easy for me to say because I don't have kids but the minute I feel my jeans get tight I sort it out. I never buy a size up, that's just giving in. Consequently I have never been overweight. It's just a 'keeping myself in check' attitude.

Davis911

I used food to deal with work anxiety. I used food to reward myself for doing a good job since it felt like I never got a pat on the back when I did do a good job.

Yes, many of use have been in that boat...

jessicae1aine

Once upon a time, I was a skinny, vain cheerleader who was almost underweight.

At my highest, I weighed 300.1 lbs.

Yup, can definitely relate.

HarleighzMom

I felt that way too when I went to the doctor and I weighed as much as I did the week before I delivered my daughter. I agree with everyone else - the important thing is that you caught it and you are doing something about it.

MelsAuntie

I KNOW how I got to this point. By paying attention to my job/friends/ family/farm/obligations/art and never bothering to pay any attention to what was going on with me.

pkinblue

I find myself looking at college pictures and remembering how fat I felt then--and wishing I could get back to that today and how grateful I'd be now if only I could snap my fingers and be that girl again.

And I get down on how I let myself go...

But then I reflect and remind myself that of life's challenges--losing weight is a pretty light burden all things considered. Some of my skinny and beautiful friends have it much worse--very sick (chronically) children, divorce or cheating spouses, unemployment, alcoholism etc.. and at the end of the day what I have to deal with is food and exercise and whether I make good choices about those two things. For me it is not life or death. A few extra lbs on my frame or a jean's size that is a bigger # than I've been led to believe is acceptable is not the end of it all. Nor does it mean I am lazy, dumb, self indulgent or ugly...it just means I am a work in progress.

And then I thank God I am not paid for my looks or weight and no paparazzi is taking unflattering pictures of me and making snarky remarks about my bod to everyone, and I give myself a mental hug, draw a line and step over it and tell myself that yesterday doesn't matter, and to keep going and that I can do it. After all--if I really could go back in time and re-do things I don't think the biggest mistakes I've ever made were the things I ate. (LOL)

TreySully1

Of course, we all do that. You're not alone. I do think that guilt and shame are the two most detrimental emotions to a healthy self-assessment. When I was in high school, I was 5'10" and weighed 190 lbs, which is roughly 15 lbs overweight for me. I thought I was as big as an elephant and quit going to amusement parks because I was afraid I wouldn't fit on the rides! It's true. The guilt and shame of being heavier than the other girls made my self-assessment so far off kilter that I never loved myself. It only got worse after high school. The more I felt "how did I let myself get this fat?!?!?" The fatter I got. At 5'11" and 385, my max weight, I had weight loss surgery. I finally started to love the body that was forming with two a day two hour workouts, and of course, restricted eating. I reached my WL goal, but I wasn't done with the negative head noise. I had a catastrophic accident that nearly took my life and required the WL surgery to be reversed. Over the course of 10 years, I regained all but 50 lbs, and I again asked myself "how did I get here?" That question is almost irrelevant. Once I started concentrating on what I needed to do to get healthy, I stopped asking that self-defeating question. I have lost 55 lbs and would like to lose 80 more, but the number isn't important. As long as I get rest, drink plenty of water, eat what's good for me, and move my body every single day, I know I am living the good life. I've never been so happy eating and living right.

JDBLY11

Hi all,

I've recently started using MFP on a regular basis again since March. I started at my heaviest at 208 and now I am down to 197... 11lbs, not bad, but...

I went to my Dr and she told me how much I weighed in 2007. 172lbs! I thought I was heavy back then, but I think to myself, "how could I have carelessly gained so much more weight??" I have friends and relatives who have never struggled with their weight, not once, in their whole lives. It makes me wonder what makes me so different that I've developed this unhealthy relationship with food. I hate to make comparisons, because everyone is unique, but I just hate myself for developing this vice with food.

I just can't stop kicking myself in the butt about it. Since my Drs visit, I feel even more disgusted with myself than ever, even though I'm doubling my efforts to lose weight.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Yes I have but I don't really let it get me down. I had a really stressful last year financially/ with my developmentally delayed son and was on a medication that made me super hungry. I am never going to allow myself to be put on meds that cause me to gain weight again. I had lost 60 lbs the year before and got down to about 200 but stopped because I felt hungry all the time and I was not able to fight off hunger 24/7. I gained 100 lbs last year. This time I have lost 17 lbs so far and gone of the medication that caused the increased appetite. My appetite is returning to normal and I feel more like myself.

donthegeek

I think about it all the time and believe me, it bothers me. I left the Air Force in '98 after hearing for 13 years how fat I was, 5'10 at 184 lbs. Once I was out, I just didn't let weight worry me anymore. Fast forward to Jan 2013 and I'm touching 300 lbs on the scale, it was a moment that stopped and slapped me around a little bit.

ThePinkPenguin

I think the same thing. I had a hard time adjusting to life after college, where I had been kind of heavy and managed to lose weight, but it all went back on and then some. When I weighed myself on the Wii in February and saw I was 219 pounds, it was a shock...I didn't think I had gotten that out of control. Now, I feel bad for not paying attention sooner when I feel like I am going to die during a Jillian Michaels DVD. I am trying to reverse everything I may have caused and praying it isn't too late...