Quick Sympathy Card Etiquette Question

jenwalton

I'm going to throw this question out to you guys, because it would be awkward for me to ask my FB friends (because I'm FB friends with some of the family members in question)...

Sadly, there was a death in my husband's extended family. I'm writing out a sympathy card to a widow who we have only met a few times, including at our wedding. I wrote: "We are both very sorry for your loss. Your husband was incredibly kind to us on the few occasions we had the privilege of meeting him. You and your family are in our prayers." Then, as a matter of habit, I signed the card "Love, Tom and Jennifer".

Here's the question: Will the widow think it's weird that I wrote "Love", considering I don't really know this person? This was a mistake, I meant to write "With Sympathy" or "Sincerely".

I don't really have time to go out and get a new card, and I have already decided to just send it as is, because I figure she won't notice or care. Also, I think it would look worse if I crossed out the word "Love" and wrote something else, LOL.

What do you think? I guess I'm just curious as to how big a faux pas this is for future reference...

Rak0ribz

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave my wife's friend when she felt like she'd embarrassed herself talking to her friend who'd just lost her son in a car accident; to wit:

They're probably not going to even notice; if they do, your minor social error isn't going to be at the forefront of their minds. If they do register your mistake, they'll either: 1.) forget it; or 2.) lump it in with the bizarre behavior exhibited in more-or-less every single social interaction they're going to have for the next 6 months.

tl;dr: don't sweat it.

coliema

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave my wife's friend when she felt like she'd embarrassed herself talking to her friend who'd just lost her son in a car accident; to wit:

They're probably not going to even notice; if they do, your minor social error isn't going to be at the forefront of their minds. If they do register your mistake, they'll either: 1.) forget it; or 2.) lump it in with the bizarre behavior exhibited in more-or-less every single social interaction they're going to have for the next 6 months.

tl;dr: don't sweat it.

^That.

SugaryPlum

I think it's fine the way it is. You could also write a "with" in front of the love, so it says "With Love," or you could change it to "Sending Our Love,"

But you don't have to. People who are grieving need all the love they can get.

This is the kind of thing I would totally obsess on if I wrote the card but that no one else will ever notice.

HollisGrant

Your note is warm and kind. The person who receives it will be in shock from the death of her loved one and will be glad you thought about her. She won't be critical about one word over another word.

jenwalton

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave my wife's friend when she felt like she'd embarrassed herself talking to her friend who'd just lost her son in a car accident; to wit:

They're probably not going to even notice; if they do, your minor social error isn't going to be at the forefront of their minds. If they do register your mistake, they'll either: 1.) forget it; or 2.) lump it in with the bizarre behavior exhibited in more-or-less every single social interaction they're going to have for the next 6 months.

tl;dr: don't sweat it.

That is exactly right... I won't sweat it... Already sent it anyway!

Now if I could just stop ending all my work emails with xoxoxo

: )

MFPRat

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave my wife's friend when she felt like she'd embarrassed herself talking to her friend who'd just lost her son in a car accident; to wit:

They're probably not going to even notice; if they do, your minor social error isn't going to be at the forefront of their minds. If they do register your mistake, they'll either: 1.) forget it; or 2.) lump it in with the bizarre behavior exhibited in more-or-less every single social interaction they're going to have for the next 6 months.

tl;dr: don't sweat it.

^
What he said

fuhrmeister

so many people don't even send cards anymore. I think your note is very nice.