Why is my eating so screwed up?

pinktiger8

I cannot eat normally, whether it is 3 meals with 2 snacks a day or 6 small meals a day. I basically just eat crap all day long and when I do cook and sit down to eat, I make it really low calorie. I save up the calories to snack even more when I'm alone. I have gotten in a habit of eating bowls of dry cereal in front of my laptop on my bed. There are days where I eat cereal by the box or like 80% of it. I eat nothing else for the day so I can keep it under my calories. Sometimes I just don't care and keep eating. Then when I feel gross enough I make it a plan to eat nothing the next day. So far it hasn't happened yet because I don't have that willpower but on those days, after a gross binge, I eat like 500-700 calories. My normal days are 1000-1200 calories and my gross days are 1500-3000.

The funny thing is I weighed in this morning at 92.4 lbs (down from last couple week's 95) and I'm 5'1. The only exercise I do is power walking to burn some calories after all that carb. I walk for an hour but I generally enjoy this because I get to read blogs or watch youtube on my phone. I continue to do this because I'm losing weight this way but I know it's super unhealthy in the long run. How do I get out of this rut? I finally made my diary public so maybe take a look?

pinktiger8

Bump?

dakotawitch

I am not a medical doctor. This is not medical advice.

I am not a psychologist. This is not psychological advice.

You might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist to dig into your feelings about food and why your relationship with it is so fraught. A session or two with a nutritionist might also be helpful. If you are a student, your college or university likely has free services you can take advantage of. If you are not a student, see if your job as an Employee Assistance Program or other resources through your insurance plan.

Most posters here on MFP are probably not qualified to give you much advice about this, though certainly there are a few professionals that have relevant expertise.

thejubster1

HI... Please don't take this the wrong way - but I am just wondering how effective your 'power walks' are if you are reading blogs or watching YouTube at the same time? Are they in a gym?

Also sounds like some poor habits are creeping in, and you may need to start imposing rules for yourself... eg - the primary purpose for bed (and bedroom) is for sleeping - so no food or electronics. Food is to be eaten say at the table - making meals a more 'mindful' experience, rather than something that happens without you realising due to other distractions - and then wondering where it all went!

amandadawson24

It sounds like you need to talk with a physician and a counselor or nutritionist about your eating habits and weight. You weigh 92 pounds so you should be trying to gain weight, not lose it. For your height, you should weigh at least 98 pounds. (I am not a MD and this number was based off a BMI calculator). There are serious health issues that can arise from weighing too little (losing your period, etc.) A nutritionist can help you to come up with a meal plan to help you get at a healthier weight and work on whatever is getting in the way of you eating more balanced meals in general, and if a nutritionist doesn't do nutrition counseling as well, I would recommend seeing a counselor/therapist who does work with eating disorders at the very least to improve your relationship with food. (I'm not saying you have an eating disorder necessarily as I don't know anything about you except what you posted. However, eating disorders don't always present in the same way. They can be from people overexercising, eating too little in general, binging/purging, etc.)

Best wishes on getting healthy!

PikaKnight

I'm 5'1 and 92lbs is under weight, even for a small frame. I think you need to go see a physician and a psychologist/counselor ASAP.

OMGeeeHorses

I am not a medical doctor. This is not medical advice.

I am not a psychologist. This is not psychological advice.

You might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist to dig into your feelings about food and why your relationship with it is so fraught. A session or two with a nutritionist might also be helpful. If you are a student, your college or university likely has free services you can take advantage of. If you are not a student, see if your job as an Employee Assistance Program or other resources through your insurance plan.

Most posters here on MFP are probably not qualified to give you much advice about this, though certainly there are a few professionals that have relevant expertise.

I agree with this, I did a 4 month course with nutritionist and a therapist and they cracked me open wider than I could have on my own, my negative thoughts knocked me down, which made me depressed, which then made me binge eat, which then obviously made me fat. I just push the negative away and listen to music that pumps me up and gets my mind all YOU CAN DO THIS YOU ARE A TIGER HEAR YOURSELF ROAR!!

WinnerVictorious

I cannot eat normally, whether it is 3 meals with 2 snacks a day or 6 small meals a day. I basically just eat crap all day long and when I do cook and sit down to eat, I make it really low calorie. I save up the calories to snack even more when I'm alone. I have gotten in a habit of eating bowls of dry cereal in front of my laptop on my bed. There are days where I eat cereal by the box or like 80% of it. I eat nothing else for the day so I can keep it under my calories. Sometimes I just don't care and keep eating. Then when I feel gross enough I make it a plan to eat nothing the next day. So far it hasn't happened yet because I don't have that willpower but on those days, after a gross binge, I eat like 500-700 calories. My normal days are 1000-1200 calories and my gross days are 1500-3000.

The funny thing is I weighed in this morning at 92.4 lbs (down from last couple week's 95) and I'm 5'1. The only exercise I do is power walking to burn some calories after all that carb. I walk for an hour but I generally enjoy this because I get to read blogs or watch youtube on my phone. I continue to do this because I'm losing weight this way but I know it's super unhealthy in the long run. How do I get out of this rut? I finally made my diary public so maybe take a look?

1) step back
2) take a deep breath
3) recognize that life is meant to be enjoyed and food should be part of that enjoyment. there is nothing to feel gross about or shame about. food is fuel. some days you eat more fuel than you need and your body stores if for future use. some days you eat less and your body makes up the deficit from the stored fuel. take the emotion out of your relationship with your body's fuel.
4) you are probably underweight. if you are trying to low cal + cardio your way to a great body, you are on a dead end road. pick up some weights. your body is built to adapt to the demands you place on your muscles. without ever putting them to use, you'll never have the fit, firm body you were designed to have. so put your muscles to use. only then will you get that body you want.

iulia_maddie

Honey, you posted a different thread a while ago, and i remember responding there too. Your relationship with food is unhealthy. It's great that you're starting to realize that. Trust me, you don't need to lose anymore weight.
I understand that you are still not happy with your body, but there are ways of getting there without starving yourself. Start lifting weights, up your calories. Ditch the scales for a while, I promise you, you'll love the results!