All over the place but please read

SavedByAmazingGrace

I need to get the to doctor ASAP, I just feel sooo horrible. I have hot flashes, I become extremely dizzy, my reactions are beginning to slow down, I would get hungry and then lose my appetite but I would still force myself to eat. But everything I eat tastes like metal. My eyes hurt and I have horrible headaches. I try to explain this to my mom and she blames it on my eating when I do eat (1300-1800cals) i even have a protein shake everyday (most of my food I don't track I trying to start back). I have to wait for my insurance company to send me some pamphlet so I can register for some crap and find a doctor. I have Aenta Insurance (I think that's what it's called) some people say its good some say it's bad.

So my old doctor was horrible she didn't take anything I said seriously. I would tell her how my knees would give out when I walk and all she would say is stretch. I could never openup to her about my depression because when she would question me about it she sound like a robot. As time pass I realize that I do need to talk to a professional about how I've been feeling lately. Beside the problems I've described already, I'm also suffering from depression, I've always had it but every time I would talk to my mom or family member that would just tell me that it's in my mind and I control when I'm happy blah blah. I know something wrong, I want to be happy I want to enjoy my life but no matter what I do I'm just sooo sad and lost and angry. You know how you go to bed sad but wake up feeling better, well not for me. Yes I do have sucidal thoughts, I just feel like everyone hates me and I just feel soo idk lost. I'm going to a new college next year and I just want to enjoy this experience (I've be away from home) I don't want to carry this depression and sickness with me. I hate taking pills to make me "better" but I know I have too. I don't want to depend on these pills forever, thinking about taking pills to make me "happy" makes me feel sad. I've been dealing with this for a whole year and its hasn't gotten better. Whenever I tell anyone they just say I'm not eating or I exercise to much, I'm afraid the doctor won't take me serious and will call me a "drug seeker". Some suggested going to counseling but the only problem with that is that I won't have time to go to it that often.

I'll be going to a new doctor, I don't know how to tell him or her all of this. I want them to know about my sickness, depression, knee problem, anxiety but I don't want them to think I'm a "drug seeker". What do I say when I go to the doctor?? I've done plenty of research and I want to ask it I can get prescribed Wellbutrin and Adderall (I done a lot of reading on the two drugs I have).

Maybe it's the depression talking but has anyone gone through anything similar

I know this is all over the place but I had to get it out

treagal

go to the doctor and tell him/her that you need help and why. don't suggest that they prescribe you any drugs, tell them whats wrong and let them try to help you. if they start talking medication, tell them what you researched and why and see if they agree. you are not a doctor, let them try to help you and try to work them.

Vune

I'm sort of in that place right now. I spent a night in the psych ER last fall, then moved across the country to stay with my family and get back on my feet. I saw a psychologist appointed by the state because I'm filing for disability benefits (let me list the things wrong with my body and mind!--bu I'm also going to do voc rehab...), and I asked her how I would go about asking for help when she recommended continued therapy.

First, when making the appointment, you don't have to detail everything. You can just say you haven't been feeling like yourself lately and you need to discuss ways of improving your life. Write down what you want to discuss before going in there. Be open to alternative options, but let them know you've done your homework.

Not every doctor is built the same. I've seen a lot of doctors for problems ranging from kidney failure to migraines to parathyroid disease, the right fit is one who works WITH you. Not one who shoots you down, and not one who will prescribe you whatever you ask for just to move you down the line. And even when you are working together, the first things you try might not be the right thing for you.

I need to be finding a new doctor, too, soon. If you need someone to commiserate with, feel free to add me as a friend.

iLose2Gain

I do honestly believe that some of your depression is because you aren't eating enough. I've seen your diary & 800 calorie days aren't NEARLY enough food!! But if you don't have an appetite & things taste like metal, you definitely need to talk to a doctor. Let them know that BEYOND everything else, you are looking for someone to HELP you!! I went through doctors not believing me & it was the most frustrating process. But I found one that FINALLY helped me with a lot of pain & issues I was having. I even drove 30 min out the way just to see them b/c I knew they would help me!! Just know you aren't stuck with one doctor & you insurance allows you to change primary doctors! (You should check on that process tho! I had Blue Cross/Shield). You should know in your first meeting whether you have the right care physician! At least I did.

I suffer from depression as well & my doctor wanted to put me on medication but I'm against it because, like you, I don't want to become dependant on it. After doing some research, I learn that Vitamin D13 can help with depression. There aren't any official studies that support that argument but many have shown improvement, including myself. Depending on the severity of you depression, it could help you as well. I've only been on it for a week & I feel much lighter. Not completely healed but I definitely feel a change!

Hope something I wrote helps!!!

SavedByAmazingGrace

I said that I don't track everyday. I've had trouble with my eating habits but I've overcame that I don't track everything like I use to. I don't want it to become an obsession. I have DNA k that I eat throughout that day trust mr me I eat enough I don't want to do anymore damage to my body.

MissMegannLee

First and foremost, go to a doctor as soon as you can. Explain how you are feeling, exactly how you are feeling. I was in a situation like you were about 2 years ago. (I'll explain in a minute). If you go to the doctor and explain, they normally give you a test to see how depressed you are. The test normally will indicate if you need medicine, therapy, or even a combination of both. (At least that is what happened when I saw my doctor) If they don't want to take you seriously, try telling them again and be more firm about it. They are supposed to be there to help you, not judge you, or think you are there for "happy pills". So I know how you are feeling. I know how annoying it can get when no one will listen to you and take you serious, or when you want to try to talk to someone no one is there to talk with and that can just make it ten times worse in the long run. So I feel what you are going through. Like I said I have been there.

In 2011 I was 22 years old and I was spiraling out of control. My depression was so bad I had started hurting myself really bad just to feel something. I ended up losing it one night, threw a calculator at my mother because she wouldn't listen to how I was feeling and I broke down and told her I was going to kill myself, and I was serious about it, but she stepped in. She made an appointment and had me seen right away and I was diagnosed with PTSD and Severe Manic Depression which they put me on pills and suggested intense therapy. It's been 2 years and I am no long on my pills or in therapy. I stopped them, it was suggested I do not (because of my PTSD) but I ran out of insurance and money and could no longer afford my pills. I still have very, very, very bad moments, but, for the most part I feel so much happier and better.

So with that being said, yes it sucks being on pills I won't lie. They had to switch mine 4 times because the first ones made me so deathly sick I stopped eating and the others I slept 18+ hours a day and could not function. But, like you said you did research if they decide pills will be what you need just suggest those, they will tell you if they will work for what your depression ranking is or if they want to try something else to start off with. In the end when you get the right pills it makes a world of difference. Trust me, I mean it can suck having to take something daily, but, if it helps it helps right? Also I do suggest therapy if you can go even twice a month, it really helps to be able to talk and just get crap out in a safe environment without judging or it being pushed off like nothing is wrong.

Good luck with everything, I sincerely hope you start feeling better.

SavedByAmazingGrace

Thank you so so much. I hope everything works out

ddky

I worked for a doctor for about five years. Unfortunately so many people do shop for drugs that they will be suspicious of you if you go in there asking for Adderall. Don't ask for anything, before you go write down all your symptoms and meds that you have taken previously. You say you don't have time for counseling, but you have to get your priorities straight. Your health has to be first. Depression is no fun, but it is treatable. You have insurance now and that should make care accessible to you. You are so young and with the proper help you can be happy. Until you get to the doctor, you might want to try drinking black cherry or tart cherry juice. It won't help with your depression, but it can help with pain issues and also helps you sleep. Good luck and be strong.

MissMegannLee

Thank you so so much. I hope everything works out

You are welcome and I am sure it will, everything always has a weird way of working out.

SavedByAmazingGrace

What do I say when I go into the doctors office

ChristiSykes

i struggled with extreme depression and dizziness until I went gluten and dairy free. All my symptoms are gone.

bookstitch

Hey, I'm glad you got that all out. It's not too terribly all over the place. Firstly, if you don't know what to say to the doctor, just print out what you wrote and have him read that. I was seeing a therapist for a while and since I couldn't put into words what I was feeling I gave her some of my writings and journal entries. Since you will be visiting your doctor for the first time, I think what you posted here would be perfect. And then you can go from there. What you wrote covers what are your concerns are and your fears about telling the doctor and your past history with other doctors and family.

I have battled depression on and off for a few years now. It hits strongly in the winter months (S.A.D depression). I have gotten a "happy light". It is artificial sunlight that you use for about 30 minutes a day and it increases your serotonin production. You can search for it on the internet, I'm not sure the price range but they have many different variations. Also, exercising and eating healthy will help too, but I'm sure you already know that

I have heard that St. John's Wart is a natural way to help depression. Yes it is a pill, but look into that. Then you wouldn't need a prescription and could pick it up at any CVS/Walgreens/Stop & Shop etc.

Another thing that has helped me, personally, is a 5 year journal I bought. It's a sentence a day and its for a total of 5 years. The one I bought was called a happiness journal. So you are supposed to write one good thing that happened that day. I usually write a bit about the day, try to focus more on the good but hey, we are human and there isn't always good that happens. But I find it nice because as I continue it (I'm in my second year) I get to see what I was doing a year before and then I start to think of all the things that will come in the future years and what I will have to write.

Finding one thing, even something small, each day that makes you smile is the best place to start with depression. I drove past a gorgeous sunset today and it just filled me with warmth. It's those things you have to hold on to.

Best of luck to you on your journey.

fayehjort

Yes, please make sure you see a doctor! My hubby was told to take vitamin B12 to help with his depression as his levels were low. Maybe have your new doctor check (when you get one). He suffers from arthritis and chronic back pain due to degeneration but he too eliminated wheat from his diet and his joint pain has diminished substantially and his mood has improved. It wouldn't hurt to try. As for your metalic taste in your mouth, it may be your medication so your doc should go over that with you too.

Keep your chin up and know you aren't alone and it is not all in your head!

SavedByAmazingGrace

I don't take any medication beside vitamin B

MissMegannLee

What do I say when I go into the doctors office

Everything you pretty much said in here on the forum. That you aren't ever happy, that you have had moments where you feel suicidal and you are miserable.

SavedByAmazingGrace

I'm so afraid of hearing another person tell me its all in my head or not take me seriously but I know that I have to give this a try

levicrouch

Not to sound callous, but it sounds like maybe you aren't listening to what the dr. is telling you, and\or you may not be telling them the whole story. Instead of getting emotional or letting your thoughts run away when talking with the dr. (or anyone for that matter) try really listening to what they say. They may be giving you the answer you need. It just may not be the answer you want.

DebbieLyn63

How old are you?

DebbieLyn63

Go back and read all your previous posts, as if they were written by someone else. What comes to mind when you read them all together?

maegmez

As a Christian, give your cares and worries to God. He is there for you in good times and bad.

I've been through some horrific crap in my life but my faith keeps me fighting strong. I could have easily become a statistic but I fought my emotions and feelings. It was so hard at first but you get through it. It's not all in your head but most feelings if depression are self inflicted. We let our thoughts run away. I never needed meds and now I'm at a point in my life when I rarely feel down. Being overweight was one factor.

.

BluePHX

I need to get the to doctor ASAP, I just feel sooo horrible. I have hot flashes, I become extremely dizzy, my reactions are beginning to slow down, I would get hungry and then lose my appetite but I would still force myself to eat. But everything I eat tastes like metal. My eyes hurt and I have horrible headaches. I try to explain this to my mom and she blames it on my eating when I do eat (1300-1800cals) i even have a protein shake everyday (most of my food I don't track I trying to start back). I have to wait for my insurance company to send me some pamphlet so I can register for some crap and find a doctor. I have Aenta Insurance (I think that's what it's called) some people say its good some say it's bad.

So my old doctor was horrible she didn't take anything I said seriously. I would tell her how my knees would give out when I walk and all she would say is stretch. I could never openup to her about my depression because when she would question me about it she sound like a robot. As time pass I realize that I do need to talk to a professional about how I've been feeling lately. Beside the problems I've described already, I'm also suffering from depression, I've always had it but every time I would talk to my mom or family member that would just tell me that it's in my mind and I control when I'm happy blah blah. I know something wrong, I want to be happy I want to enjoy my life but no matter what I do I'm just sooo sad and lost and angry. You know how you go to bed sad but wake up feeling better, well not for me. Yes I do have sucidal thoughts, I just feel like everyone hates me and I just feel soo idk lost. I'm going to a new college next year and I just want to enjoy this experience (I've be away from home) I don't want to carry this depression and sickness with me. I hate taking pills to make me "better" but I know I have too. I don't want to depend on these pills forever, thinking about taking pills to make me "happy" makes me feel sad. I've been dealing with this for a whole year and its hasn't gotten better. Whenever I tell anyone they just say I'm not eating or I exercise to much, I'm afraid the doctor won't take me serious and will call me a "drug seeker". Some suggested going to counseling but the only problem with that is that I won't have time to go to it that often.

I'll be going to a new doctor, I don't know how to tell him or her all of this. I want them to know about my sickness, depression, knee problem, anxiety but I don't want them to think I'm a "drug seeker". What do I say when I go to the doctor?? I've done plenty of research and I want to ask it I can get prescribed Wellbutrin and Adderall (I done a lot of reading on the two drugs I have).

Maybe it's the depression talking but has anyone gone through anything similar

I know this is all over the place but I had to get it out

You should absolutely and by no means EVER take adderall. I have ADHD and though you and I sometimes have similar symptoms, yours sound like you have Bipolar or another, WAY more serious disorder and Adderall is going to put you into mania or a place you don't need to go anywhere near. Get a doctor, tell em EXACTLY what you're going through, including the depression, and then LISTEN to what they say. You don't have ADHD, bud. You have an emotional disorder and that's not anything a stimulant can help you with.

BluePHX

Hey, I'm glad you got that all out. It's not too terribly all over the place. Firstly, if you don't know what to say to the doctor, just print out what you wrote and have him read that. I was seeing a therapist for a while and since I couldn't put into words what I was feeling I gave her some of my writings and journal entries. Since you will be visiting your doctor for the first time, I think what you posted here would be perfect. And then you can go from there. What you wrote covers what are your concerns are and your fears about telling the doctor and your past history with other doctors and family.

I have battled depression on and off for a few years now. It hits strongly in the winter months (S.A.D depression). I have gotten a "happy light". It is artificial sunlight that you use for about 30 minutes a day and it increases your serotonin production. You can search for it on the internet, I'm not sure the price range but they have many different variations. Also, exercising and eating healthy will help too, but I'm sure you already know that

I have heard that St. John's Wart is a natural way to help depression. Yes it is a pill, but look into that. Then you wouldn't need a prescription and could pick it up at any CVS/Walgreens/Stop & Shop etc.

Another thing that has helped me, personally, is a 5 year journal I bought. It's a sentence a day and its for a total of 5 years. The one I bought was called a happiness journal. So you are supposed to write one good thing that happened that day. I usually write a bit about the day, try to focus more on the good but hey, we are human and there isn't always good that happens. But I find it nice because as I continue it (I'm in my second year) I get to see what I was doing a year before and then I start to think of all the things that will come in the future years and what I will have to write.

Finding one thing, even something small, each day that makes you smile is the best place to start with depression. I drove past a gorgeous sunset today and it just filled me with warmth. It's those things you have to hold on to.

Best of luck to you on your journey.

DO NOT TAKE ANY HERBAL ANTI-DEPRESSANTS WITHOUT SEEING A SPECIALIST WITH A LICENSE IN PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS!

It can make you feel 1000 times worse if you need REAL help psychologically! GO TO THE DOCTOR. All else is complete and utter speculation until you see a DOCTOR.

svelt123

:flowerforyou: You are on the right track! You have acknowledged that something just isn't right. I agree with the suggestion of working with the doctors but do not suggest which meds to subscribe. Try to continue to get enough rest and exercise.
Continue with MFP. Logging your food consumption is smart. Take a good look at what your are eating with an allergist and a registered dietician just to be sure that could it be something that you are or is not eating that can also cause problems.
A good medical Dr. would be a good start too. Chemical imbalances within our bodies can cause all sorts of problems.

Many people suffer with depression you are not alone. This may sound awful but have you ever considered contacting Dr. Phil
Mcgraw. (The Dr. Phil show) Dr. He has helped many people. He treats people with respect. especially someone like you who is seeking true help.

God bless you.

maegmez

I read your topic before going out for my run. All my running music is Christian based and when this song by Britt Nicole came on, I instantly thought of you. It's called...Walk On The Water


You look around
It's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder

What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?

When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

Chorus:

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water too

Verse 2:
So get out
And let
Your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste
Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away

If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

(chorus)

Bridge:
(step out)
Even when its storming
(step out)
Even when you're broken
(step out)
Even when your heart is telling you telling you to give up
(step out)
When your hope is stolen
(step out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid

So what are you waiting,
What are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water...
Walk on the water too

Ducey99

You should understand that depression is a medical condition brought on by a deficiency of certain brain chemicals (dopamine, seratonin, etc..). Contrary to popular belief, depression =/= saddness.
Look at it like a deficiency of a certain vitamin, let's say B12. There are two ways to reverse this; more B12 in your diet, or via supplementation like a B12 pill or injection. Likewise, you can combat the deficiency causing your depression in two ways; Cognitive behavioral therapy, or medication. Behavioral therapy is basically discussion and the implementation of certain techniques to reduce stress and prevent triggers that cause your spirals. Your Dr. Phil type therapy. Medications have a direct influence on your particular deficiency and in some cases may be required (extreme deficiency) and in some cases would not be recommended (risk vs. reward). If you had extremely low B12, you wouldn't just use changes in diet, you'd supplement.
Either way, seeing a doctor as soon as possible is the next step for you. You should be refered to a psychiatrist that can determine the severity of your condition and then figure out what types of intervention would be most beneficial.

In the meantime, keep on keepin on. This is probably the worst you will ever feel, and if you can hold on just a while longer you'll be alright. Depression is a very real thing, someone telling you it is in your head is simply uninformed and plain wrong. Sadness is a symptom of depression, they are not the same thing. One thing you can be sure of is that you won't feel like this forever.

bearkisses

one word: counselling:flowerforyou:

MissMegannLee

I'm so afraid of hearing another person tell me its all in my head or not take me seriously but I know that I have to give this a try

If they do call your insurance and requests a new doctor.

LoraMora

SavedbyAmazin, please show your mother your post. You need her help, and her advocacy to keep your doctors on track.

She may not realize how serious your situation is if she has only heard it in pieces or if you haven't verbalized it as effectively as you have written it.

All the best for you. You sound like an Amazin' girl.
Lora

DebbieLyn63

I'm so afraid of hearing another person tell me its all in my head or not take me seriously but I know that I have to give this a try

If they do call your insurance and requests a new doctor.

If a person repeatedly gets told by doctor after doctor that nothing is wrong, and its all in their head, then perhaps they don't need to go see yet another doctor, but instead should consult a doctor who can see the underlying psychiatric issue. You can doctor hop enough until you find one that will prescribe whatever drugs you want, but that will only cause more problems. Prescription drug abuse is a huge problem today and destroys so many people and their families. But because a doctor prescribes them, people refuse to believe they have a problem.

SavedByAmazingGrace

Update: The insurance sent me a list of doctors to call, almost all of them where out of order and the two that I got ahold of weren't in their office. I'm waiting for them to call back, but in the mean time I've been trying to eat lots of fruits, veggies and drink water. I'm also searching for some books on depression (no boring ones). Trying to stay calm