Beyond frustrated, someone set me straight

kadmommy

Alright, here goes. My story isn't unique, but I can't get a handle on this.
5 years ago I was 40, 5'8" 156 lbs. Not huge, I know, but I have a small frame and a size 10/12 was large for me. I knew my change had to be diet and intake and WW allowed that and it worked like a charm. Steady 1-1.5 lb drop per week over the course of 4 months and I hit my 20 lb goal right at Memorial Day. That same year I picked up running. Been running ever since, haven't stopped. Continued to lose a few more pounds and finished at around 128, size 4, running about 22-28 miles a week depending on what race I was training for. Felt great, good muscle tone, great eating pattern, good "relationship" with food. Never felt deprived, never thought about it. Know where I'm headed?

Then injury strikes. Running stops. For you runners out there, I know you know what I'm talking about -- it's a true addiction in that no other physical outlet compares. I was in a real funk when I wasn't running. I tried to stay conditioned, but I can't stand swimming and other weight-bearing activities just bore me to tears. So I kind of lost my mojo. Got depressed. Started getting squishy. Stopped lifting. Started to cut back on food since I wasn't exercising the same amount. Weight crept up despite cutting calories. Finally I was cleared to run again. Have built my mileage back up to pre-injury distance. Been running 25-30 miles a week, racing again (10k, 10 milers, half marathons), cross training, lifting 120 minutes a week (in a structured class 2x a week with a trainer, that's not an overblown estimate), watching intake like a hawk, keeping calories at/around 1500-1600 a day, and I'm steadily gaining a pound a week. And can I just say that I'm really, really FULL at that level. If I try to eat more than that I'm truly uncomfortable. I eat all day long, 5-6 times a day, clean meals of 300-400 cals each.

I measured out the calories I'm taking in against the WW points I used to do and it's roughly the same as when I was losing, so I'm really torn. My activity level is back to where it was, my eating is back to where it was, and my body is responding exactly opposite of how it did previously. I'm a logic based person and this has me so frustrated I can't stand it. Of course I've been trying other things. For two weeks I'll drop my cals, for two weeks I'll increase them. Nothing helps. Scale just goes up. And no, it's not muscle - muffin top is just getting bigger! I seriously have a spare tire now where NONE used to be. Thyroid was just checked, that's fine.

I'm so tired of thinking about food and planning out my meals. It's exhausting to wake up every morning and stress about what I'm "allowed" to eat today and what I'm not. Someone? Anyone? <sigh>