About to give up

tjthegreatone

I wrote a similar post a few days ago but got no responses.

I'm female, 5'9 with a goal weight of 150 lb. Currently I weigh probably 155-160 (haven't weighed myself over the last week).
I''ve been stuck here for over a year! I have reached my goal before but found it difficult to maintain. Also, I began to feel that it wasn't realistic, so recently decided to 'accept' 155 lb. The problem is that I keep overeating and going over my daily calorie allowance (very generous at 1780 a day for 0.5 lb loss per week) by several hundred. I exercise a lot, gym 4-6 times a week 1-2 hours per session burning (I think) 500-800 calories per session. So you can imagine how much I eat!

I realise that part of the problem is that I'm a carbaholic and I haven't figured out a way to increase my protein intake to help with satiety without an accompanying increase in fat intake and therefore calories. I love nuts and nut butters but I hate cheese and can only stand milk in small quantities (masked in tea/coffee). I'm indifferent to meat. I've tried beans and pulses but they don't give the protein I need without a large amount of carbs to accompany.

In short, recently I've become despondent and I'm thinking about quitting, accepting my current status and deleting my account as seeing the large red numbers every day is demoralising. But the thought of going back to my old weight (30 lb heavier) is frightening. It took 6 months of hard work to lose all that poundage...but I've completely lost all the motivation I once had and even the thought of ever being hungry again frightens me and sends me straight to the (proverbial) cookie jar.

Dunno what to do really.

drop_it_like_a_squat

Switch to TDEE-***%. I'd recommend substracting 10% or so from it since you only have 5lbs left. When you reach your goal, eat your TDEE.

Try using protein powder; makes it easier to hit your macro target, has very little carbs & fats (given you use water with it) and helps keeping you full.

tjthegreatone

Hi,

I'm not sure what my TDEE is. The problem is my exercise changes a lot from week to week. For example, last week I went to the gym 6 times. This week I'm away from home for work and can't get to the gym much so my calorie burn will be lower. I've also recently started weight/strength training which burns fewer calories Can I really make any average estimates?

I have considered protein shakes/powders but I come from a 'don't drink your calories' school of thought and I always feel like a lemon walking past those fitness stores with the kegs of creatine/whatever. Also it's hypocritical considering all the junk I'd happily consume, but they feel very 'unnatural' to me. I'd like to hear some arguments in their favour

jdad1

if your goal is 150 and your currently at 155 then you are within range of where you want to be. You don't have to change anything when it come to weight. Overall health sure, you could eat more vitamin rich foods and all but genereally spaeking i would just say...you are alrady where you need to be so learn to be happy with yourself. Food is not the enemy, enjoy it and maintain where you are already at.

drop_it_like_a_squat

I don't know how possible it is practically, but try how it works if you recalculate your TDEE when your activity level changes and choose the one that fits best.

I heard there are organic protein powders, too, if you hesitate to take chemical supplementation. I can't give you a brand name or something, but I'm sure you'll find one if you google.

Emmabulliemum

Never give up I'm at this at the moment got 7lbs to go and I keep going up and down cannot get rid of the last few pounds. I have changed to eating TDEE -20% give or take. I seem to just want to eat and then I eat back my exercise cals. Fell free to add me we can work at this together.

We have to remember how far we have come and that it's not a race it's a lifestyle change so it takes time. Easy to say I know but hang in there xxxx

kokevendingmachine

First, take out the 'giving up' thought. Tell yourself you can do it over and over until it gets to your subconscious mind. Do not ever give up or feel down. You know why? Because it's possible for you. It's possible that you can get the body you want. It's possible for you to feel what you've always wanted to feel about your body. There are lots of ways to improve your current fitness status. Rethink your nutrition intake or something. Clearly, you're not eating right. But that's okay. You can always research about that. Get a support group. Keep on having ways to motivate yourself. The point, be positive. Just don't ever give up. Because if you do, it's your life that you've given up on. The message boards for success stories here will be of much help. I advise you to check that out. If females over 300+ pounds are able to shed their weight, more so can you. You're just as capable as they are.

kokevendingmachine

If you have a twitter account, you can follow @motivatedrogue or @adamwontlose Check out their tweets.

tjthegreatone

Never give up I'm at this at the moment got 7lbs to go and I keep going up and down cannot get rid of the last few pounds. I have changed to eating TDEE -20% give or take. I seem to just want to eat and then I eat back my exercise cals. Fell free to add me we can work at this together.

We have to remember how far we have come and that it's not a race it's a lifestyle change so it takes time. Easy to say I know but hang in there xxxx

Thanks for the inspiration! I feel exactly like you do...so much work to get down and the last 10 pounds have been a mother* to lose. Sigh. I'll try changing to TDEE-20% and see. I've got no friends yet but that's my fault for being a lone ranger, so I'll add you. We can do this! For the record I live in the UK and I'm 29...determined to get this thing nailed before I hit 30 in October but the negativity keeps creeping in. About to hit Dr Google to work out my TDEE.

tjthegreatone

... Clearly, you're not eating right. But that's okay. You can always research about that. Get a support group. Keep on having ways to motivate yourself. The point, be positive. Just don't ever give up. Because if you do, it's your life that you've given up on. The message boards for success stories here will be of much help. I advise you to check that out. If females over 300+ pounds are able to shed their weight, more so can you. You're just as capable as they are.

This is what I needed to hear! Thank you so much. I know I'm not eating right but I'm at a loss to change that...when I started dieting I was far too strict and now I've forgotten how to eat normally. I mean who eats 150g of cereal or peanuts for dinner?

tjthegreatone

So my TDEE is anywhere between 2350-2600 per day (calculating for moderate or heavy exercise). If I remove 10-20% that gives 2100-2200 calories a day. I THINK I could manage that, with the right nutrition. Will think more about this and look seriously into protein supplements.

luvtcuk

Don't give up! I had given up once and I regret. I start at square 1 again.

Just think about how much hard work you have put into? How far you become? I would call it a success even though you are not at your weight goal, You are almost there.

Figure out your TDEE and eat 10 -20% less. Well I am new to TDEE but I read a lot about it. And start this week I eat 20% less of my TDEE.
Also I heard that change work out routine could help.
Feel free to add me. We can be on this journey together.

Edit: To increase protein intake, try to snack on some meat. I snack on grilled chicken, beef jerky, turkey jerky. These are lean and low calories and high in protein.

kokevendingmachine

... Clearly, you're not eating right. But that's okay. You can always research about that. Get a support group. Keep on having ways to motivate yourself. The point, be positive. Just don't ever give up. Because if you do, it's your life that you've given up on. The message boards for success stories here will be of much help. I advise you to check that out. If females over 300+ pounds are able to shed their weight, more so can you. You're just as capable as they are.

This is what I needed to hear! Thank you so much. I know I'm not eating right but I'm at a loss to change that...when I started dieting I was far too strict and now I've forgotten how to eat normally. I mean who eats 150g of cereal or peanuts for dinner?

Eat 5-6 times a day. That's inclusive of breakfast, lunch, dinner, and AM/PM snacks. Don't deprive yourself of food because that will damage your weight loss efforts. If you skip meals or don't eat enough, your body will be on 'survival mode' or something. It would just take it in the food but not burn it efficiently. Think of this dialogue:

You: I won't eat much blahblah cuz blahblah.
Your stomach: Oh, okay, since I'm not taking in as much food as I really need, I'll just store whatever that I ate since I know I wouldn't be having anything to replenish this anymore.

Get the picture? You just have to know what kind of foods are good for you. I suggest you take a look at Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle PDF. Google it and download. He has a list of foods from the A grade down to the F grade. It takes a while to develop a habit. 21 days, actually. Hang on tight. This ain't a race. Never focus on instant gratification. I'll tell you that this will be hard, but it's gonna be WORTH IT.

mockchoc

It's easy. Don't give up is first. Don't do more than an hour of cardio a day and not even everyday.. have a rest day or two. Lift if you are into that .. and you should two or three times a week. Eat TDEE as the others said with the appropriate deficit for how much you need to lose.

tjthegreatone

Waoh! Are there people here who eat six times a day? How do you manage that? Do you count snacks as meals. I was brought up on the concept of big breakfast, big dinner and lunch as something light somewhere in between.

donnab83

Bump

MissMormie

You mention you've accepted that you're 155 and are ok with that. Yet you're still eating at a 20% deficit. That doesn't sound like you've accepted the 155. How about not eating at a deficit for a month or two, but just maintaining. It'll give you more calories so it's easier to work with for a bit. And it'll give you confidence you can maintain when you reach your real target weight as well.

In those two months you could also start with weight training. Muscles are active tissue, meaning they use calories during the day just being there. In contrast fat doesn't need any energy. So if you build muscles you're increasing your TDEE which will make it easier later on if you want to get closer to that perfect body.

A workout you could do even if your not home:
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/

Jaxter888

So my TDEE is anywhere between 2350-2600 per day (calculating for moderate or heavy exercise). If I remove 10-20% that gives 2100-2200 calories a day. I THINK I could manage that, with the right nutrition. Will think more about this and look seriously into protein supplements.

What do you do in the gym?... stop all steady cardio (eg treadmill for 1hr) immediatly, that sh1t is no good for anyone but ESPECIALLY for women... heavy weights (3-6 rep range) or interval training ONLY... join a spin class maybe... 30mins is plenty.

Doubt that is your TDEE, most likely about 2100cals per day at most... you are not heavy trainer... so you were right to aim for around the 1700 daily cal range.

A calories isnt simpy a calorie though...

Try to get about 120g of Protein and about 60g of Fat per day as a minimum... the rest can be whatever you like.. as long as it adds up to a defecit in cals... the name of the food doesnt matter... you can have icecream and pizza... just make the numbers fit (kcals, protein, fats..... carbs are non essential, but good to have)

Supplements arent necessary and kinda pointless on a defecit, its not going to make you full... have some tuna, eggs, chicken, cheese etc instead... tin of tuna is similar to a protein shake in cals/protein... would you rather have a shake or a tin of tuna if hungry?... thats just me though maybe.

Timing of food is irrelevant... names of the food is irrelevant... GI of food is irrelevant etc etc, you get the idea.

Dont eat 5-6 times a day... eating food makes you more hungry... fast all morning, have a big lunch, then have a big dinner... 2 big meals... this helps ALOT of ppl... rather than having 5-6 small meals that leave you still hungry at the end and just tease you.

blobby10

tjthegreatone - do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm the same height as you and for many years was 154lbs and was forever trying to lose 7-14lbs to 'fit' with the charts and graphs. Now Im 20 years older I can see that the figure I had then was absolutely perfect for my height and the 7lbs the charts told me I needed to lose was made up from muscle!

All I'm saying it don't get fixated on your weight. Take a good honest look at your shape, figure (hard I know!) because I guarantee in 20 years time you will be saying "Why did I waste so much time wanting to be thinner as I was fine the way I was. Now if only I could get that figure back again .....!"

B x

Jaxter888

... Clearly, you're not eating right. But that's okay. You can always research about that. Get a support group. Keep on having ways to motivate yourself. The point, be positive. Just don't ever give up. Because if you do, it's your life that you've given up on. The message boards for success stories here will be of much help. I advise you to check that out. If females over 300+ pounds are able to shed their weight, more so can you. You're just as capable as they are.

This is what I needed to hear! Thank you so much. I know I'm not eating right but I'm at a loss to change that...when I started dieting I was far too strict and now I've forgotten how to eat normally. I mean who eats 150g of cereal or peanuts for dinner?

Eat 5-6 times a day. That's inclusive of breakfast, lunch, dinner, and AM/PM snacks. Don't deprive yourself of food because that will damage your weight loss efforts. If you skip meals or don't eat enough, your body will be on 'survival mode' or something. It would just take it in the food but not burn it efficiently. Think of this dialogue:

You: I won't eat much blahblah cuz blahblah.
Your stomach: Oh, okay, since I'm not taking in as much food as I really need, I'll just store whatever that I ate since I know I wouldn't be having anything to replenish this anymore.

Get the picture? You just have to know what kind of foods are good for you. I suggest you take a look at Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle PDF. Google it and download. He has a list of foods from the A grade down to the F grade. It takes a while to develop a habit. 21 days, actually. Hang on tight. This ain't a race. Never focus on instant gratification. I'll tell you that this will be hard, but it's gonna be WORTH IT.

This of course is COMPLETE nonsense....

Jaxter888

You mention you've accepted that you're 155 and are ok with that. Yet you're still eating at a 20% deficit. That doesn't sound like you've accepted the 155. How about not eating at a deficit for a month or two, but just maintaining. It'll give you more calories so it's easier to work with for a bit. And it'll give you confidence you can maintain when you reach your real target weight as well.

In those two months you could also start with weight training. Muscles are active tissue, meaning they use calories during the day just being there. In contrast fat doesn't need any energy. So if you build muscles you're increasing your TDEE which will make it easier later on if you want to get closer to that perfect body.

A workout you could do even if your not home:
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/

You wont build any muscle on a defecit... but weight training is recommended to PRESERVE any existing muscle... why?... not just because of the reason above (which is almost always blown out of proportion)... but because your body will break up muscle tissue if its not needed rather than use fat... ESPECIALLY if you are not eating enough protein and getting a COMPLETE amino acid profile... if you eat meat and cheese, you dont need to worry about this... just get enough of it.. about 120g a day.

jdhoward_101

You said that you overeat on your calories...are we talking net calories? Because if so, well, there's your problem.

tjthegreatone

Hmm some conflicting advice here about diet. I'm 29. You are right that I havent really accepted my current weight. I am a cardio junkie but I'm trying to change that! I took up BodyPump two months ago and I've started with free weights in the gym. I'll experiment with 2200 for a month and cut back cardio (love my spin and combat though!) and will see what the scale says. Dunno my measurements but I'm a uk size 10.

MaraDiaz

I can offer little help, I'm struggling too. My diary is open if you were to look you would see what happens to me when I try to NOT eat low carb. So if you haven't tried that and if you don't have any health issues that would prevent you, I suggest you just cut the carbs completely (well almost completely, and definitely cut all the junk out).

Sorry, it's the best advice I have. And I have trouble sticking to it right now, too!

Jaxter888

Diet is 90% of losing weight.
Calorie deficit is 100% of losing weight.
Where that weight comes from (water, muscle, fat) will depend on stimulous and adequate protein & fat.

No real such things as a bad time or a good time.... or 'junk food' or 'dirty food' or 'clean food' or 'healthy food'...... its all just FOOD... calories, micros and macros.

Track ALL your food CORRECTLY... track your body weight weekly... review every 3 weeks and adjust calories and macros to suit goals.... on adjust after a 3 weeks of monitoring if needed... not coz u gained 2lbs in a day... 3 week overall loss from previous 3 week point is GOOD.

servilia

Have you tried a protein shake to increase protein?

JudithEssex

Don't give up! You will lose respect for yourself, and that is part of what we are atter...right?

I do think you are over stressing the number. with all the exercise you do and your youth I'll bet 155 looks pretty good! Self love and acceptance also makes a woman "look good." Being happy with your self.

A few tips: PACK YOUR LUNCH AND SNACKS! this alone can change your life. YES eat 6 times per day...three meals and three PLANNED nutritious snacks of 100 - 200 Kcals each. drink your water (you don't have to drown, but drinking heals your system eliminate waste products).

Buy yourself some cute clothes (if that is your thing) and I would suggest that you see what maintaining 155 is like. Maintain for three months. Maintaining is MUCH harder than losing...as hard as that is! Just imagine - if you were turning 40 and at 155, would you be happy?

Good luck, my dear, life is too short to be miserable over 5 pounds!

tjthegreatone

Don't give up! You will lose respect for yourself, and that is part of what we are atter...right?

I do think you are over stressing the number. with all the exercise you do and your youth I'll bet 155 looks pretty good! Self love and acceptance also makes a woman "look good." Being happy with your self.

A few tips: PACK YOUR LUNCH AND SNACKS! this alone can change your life. YES eat 6 times per day...three meals and three PLANNED nutritious snacks of 100 - 200 Kcals each. drink your water (you don't have to drown, but drinking heals your system eliminate waste products).

Buy yourself some cute clothes (if that is your thing) and I would suggest that you see what maintaining 155 is like. Maintain for three months. Maintaining is MUCH harder than losing...as hard as that is! Just imagine - if you were turning 40 and at 155, would you be happy?

Good luck, my dear, life is too short to be miserable over 5 pounds!

Hmm. I think you are right. I'll go back to packing and pre-planning my food intake - got lazy over the past few months and that's probably part of the problem. It'll be a miracle if I stay the same weight at 40. Honestly I can't see myself keeping this level of effort going for much longer. I'm single with no children, and it's already a massive commitment to fit in 8-10 hours a week in the gym with logging/worrying about calories on the back of a full-time job. (Probably why I'm single with no children in the first place )

I'm not sad about being 155 - if I could maintain that I'd be happy. It's that if I 'relax' and let go I'll balloon back to 190 pronto.

As for liking the way I look...hmm. Well the society we live in makes that hard but I'm working on it. As you say, life's too short.

tsdaughe

First, stop focusing on the number on a scale. The scale can fluctuate greatly. Also take into account body fat and inches. I have had periods where the scale stayed the same but I lost 4 inches. I personally like TDEE - 20%. I do mine at lightly active which at 165 lbs puts me at 1692 calories. But there are days I eat as high as my TDEE but overall since I am eating under TDEE I am losing weight here and there according to the scale but mostly inches and my clothes get looser. Currently, I am doing the 30 day shred which is a combo of minimal cardio, strength training, small weights. I burn over 200 calories in just 27 minutes. While up front you think cardio is better in actuality the strength training and lifting burn more and are of more benefit over time.

If you are going to gym 5-6 times a week, I personally would do the TDEE with the moderate activity level. If you are concerned about the weeks you have lower activity then do it from the lighly active TDEE number and subtract 20% or 10%. I would then just down your cardio and focus more on strength training and lifting to tone and change your body composition. And don't focus on the scale so much.

tjthegreatone

Thanks everyone for all the advice and friend requests. I'm now more determined not to give up