Do I tell him?

kindasortachewy
kindasortachewy Posts: 1,084 Member
in Chit-Chat
May 5th is my fiancé and I's 3 year anniversary - however we are getting married in 62 days on July 4th. I am still planning on getting him an anniversary present and still slightly hope for the same, however I won't be mad if he forgets or thinks it doesn't mean much since we're about to have a new anniversary date, do I drop a hint and be less happy/surprised than if he remembers on his own or do I not say anything and hope for the best?
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Replies

  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Remind him. Get used to doing so. It's just better that way.
  • Lbf321
    Lbf321 Posts: 81 Member
    Yes remind him, you will be much happier in the long run.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Also, our 9th wedding anniversary is on July 4th. :drinker:
  • nikkimarie330
    nikkimarie330 Posts: 98
    I would say something.

    It's easy for us to say that we wouldn't be hurt, but that's often not the case, and if you want something I would make it known instead of hoping for the best just to possibly be disappointed.

    Besides, chances are you're going to spend the rest of your life reminding your fiance of anniversaries or something, so start now lol.
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    I would say something.

    It's easy for us to say that we wouldn't be hurt, but that's often not the case, and if you want something I would make it known instead of hoping for the best just to possibly be disappointed.

    Besides, chances are you're going to spend the rest of your life reminding your fiance of anniversaries or something, so start now lol.

    ^This! :laugh: Get used to reminding him! Oh, and happy anniversary, it's our 7 year wedding anniversary on the 5th May :flowerforyou:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Remind him. Get used to doing so. It's just better that way.

    Amen. We are men, not calendars and most guys don't remember.
  • davidoneill1914
    davidoneill1914 Posts: 172 Member
    remind him x
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    It's best to remind him. So much easier to live life not expecting disappointment. Or getting disappointed.
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    How do you know he's forgotten?
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Remind him. Seriously.
    If not,you'll be disappointed, he'll feel bad, day ruined.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    It's best to remind him. So much easier to live life not expecting disappointment. Or getting disappointed.

    this. and while it is a special day, you do have another very special, very expensive day coming up. why don't you suggest just going out for dinner the two of you, and tell him you don't have to exchange gifts.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    remind him...as others have said it's so you don't get disappointed.

    if it's important enough to you to make a post about it...it's important enough that you really deep down inside want him to (this is not a criticism...because i am the same way)

    the only way people get on the same page is by being upfront and communicating.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Remind him, stop being silly.
  • iysys
    iysys Posts: 524
    if you are going to be hurt or bothered by it not being recognized then bring it up. you could simply say "what would you like to do for our dating anniversary next week?" or a sly tease of "your anniversary present came today!" with a smile.

    you are marrying this guy. you need to be willing and able to tell what you think, how you feel, and if something is important to you. if you can't then there is no point.
  • dustyhockeymom
    dustyhockeymom Posts: 537 Member
    If you will be be hurt if he doesn't remember then you should remind him. Its also my experience that once you are married, all those other "anniversaries" don't mean anything to guys.
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
    Remind him. Better off that way.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    It's not that big a deal. Just say, "Hey, it's been howevermany years, want to go out to dinner?" Assume that he will never remember the date right. My husband has NEVER remembered the date correctly in 42 years, except for last year, when he did remember and got me a mushy card. I was deeply involved in an art project and hadn't remembered the anniversary at all, much less the date. He gave me the card and a smooch, told me "Happy Anniversary", and I was like "Oh ****, was that THIS month?"
  • rassha01
    rassha01 Posts: 534 Member
    How can it be your anniversary if you are not married?
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    Remind him 20x a day. Let him know you're super excited about it. The more excited he thinks you are, the better the gift.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    just ask him what is his thoughts about it. Then plan together.
  • TheApocalypse
    TheApocalypse Posts: 319 Member
    Just break up...
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    remind him...as others have said it's so you don't get disappointed.

    if it's important enough to you to make a post about it...it's important enough that you really deep down inside want him to (this is not a criticism...because i am the same way)

    the only way people get on the same page is by being upfront and communicating.

    Ditto. And Happy Anniversary! :)
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Drop the old date, and save the gift as a wedding present. Celebrate your wedding date as the new anniversary from now on.
  • JuneyJo
    JuneyJo Posts: 182 Member
    Men don't set out to disappoint the women they love. If you want to celebrate your last pre-wedding anniversary, tell him. Ask him what he thinks. Maybe he's wondering the same thing. And totally get used to reminding him about important dates. Even when someone knows something is coming, knowing you're also excited about it makes it that much more meaningful. (And if they forgot, they'll be thankful for a loving reminder.)
  • iysys
    iysys Posts: 524
    How can it be your anniversary if you are not married?

    technically an anniversary is the annual recurring date of any event. they started dating on may 5th 3 years ago so that is their third anniversary. my husband and i started dating on july 11th. he asked me to marry him on december 11th. we got married on may 7th. those are all anniversaries.

    never mind that i had to look all of them up on his calendar except our wedding anniversary ;-)
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Remind him 20x a day. Let him know you're super excited about it. The more excited he thinks you are, the better the gift.


    Real attractive there, trolling for gifts. Gifts don't matter. It's about being together. My hubby and I go out to dinner ( if we remember), we don't buy gifts. We tell each other how glad we are with our life partner choice.
  • sweetzoejane
    sweetzoejane Posts: 153 Member
    How can it be your anniversary if you are not married?

    :huh: Really?

    My thought is to forget about gifts. Do something special and inexpensive together.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    Agree with everyone else.

    Then, ask him (or, you do it) to program every date you want him to remember in his phone with reminder alerts...anniversaries, birthdays, etc.
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    Do you think open and honest communication is a good thing? Then definitely you should tell him. Not telling him smacks of game-playing and a set-up for drama.
  • iysys
    iysys Posts: 524
    Do you think open and honest communication is a good thing? Then definitely you should tell him. Not telling him smacks of game-playing and a set-up for drama.

    yep, what he said

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