I don't know how to feel

andie2013

So I'm back to MFP from school. I'm a college student with a rather hectic schedule. Classes are over and I can get back on track with the weight loss. However, I have been feeling BIG, like I gained back all the weight back. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror I feel disgusting. It's like looking at my old fatter self. Throughout the semester, I ate in a fairly reasonable fashion, trying not to go pass my daily calories but not keeping meticulous track of every calorie. That with mixed days where I ate about 500 calories or less, so little I ate that I can tell you for sure how many calories I have that day. The not eating part was because I honestly would forget because of my school work. My weight was a roller coaster day to day.
But the facts are that I only gained 2.5 pounds the whole semester and I can actually close the zipper of my goal jeans (from, I couldn't get them pass my thighs back in December) but they are still too tight for me. Yet, I don't believe those pants, my daily clothes that I wear -which at the beginning of the semester felt like they were starting to get looser- now feel tight and I don't know what to think about this. I'm utterly disappointed and that's why I'm back here, to get back to my fitness activities.
Does anyone have any input as to how to address this situation? I really feel like I've fallen into a hole I can't dig myself out of. I'm so close to throwing my hands in the air and actually taking myself back to that old fatter self and beyond that it scares me.

chasetwins

If you only gained 2.5 pounds the whole time...then you are fine. Do not sweat it! I have not gained anything - have been losing and there are days where I feel like I gained 20 pounds!!! (belly and legs...not just one spot lol)

I do not know why it happens - if it is psychological or if I am retaining some serious water during the week. If you have not gained all the weight back...relax and just stay focused going forward. Those 2 you gained will come off with in a week or two!

If you are consuming too much sodium and not enough water..this will surly make you bloated so keep an eye on that.

andie2013

I'm at a point that if I eat, I gain. If I don't, I won't lose and feel weak and fatigued doing that which I don't intent to do to begin with.

greeneyes0809

I completely understand how you feel. I am in my freshman year of college and I tried to track regularly, but there were definitely times where I had a break because school was just too much (like now with finals I am kind of slacking). I kept on looking in the mirror and thinking "ugh I look gross, I'm gaining back the weight etc". In reality, I have actually lost weight over this year, not much roughly like 6-8 lbs, but still what I saw in the mirror was just all in my imagination. Even when I went home people kept on telling me that I looked like I had lost so much more, I just never really saw it. I still get that ways at time and I am really trying to work on my body image issues.

I guess I don't have much advice or an answer to your question, but I definitely do empathize! Just stick with it and do not give up! With time your mind will catch up to your results and just think, even if right now you do not see results, working out and eating healthy will never be bad for you like falling back into your old habits will be. You will always be making improvements even if you can't see them just yet!

dondimitri

Hang in there. I think that you've actually done well given your circumstances. I think you should give yourself a pat on the back, take a deep breath, and forge onward.

How much exercise are you getting? The body is pretty good at modifying metabolism to accommodate behavior and calorie intake. Perhaps you would consider changing things up a bit.

Are you on a walking program or could you join a gym? Even if only for a few months to get you over the hump?

One of the things I've found out at the gym is that time spent on the cardio machines is about twice as effective at burning calories as walking is (for me anyway, I don't jog/run, bad knees).

Good luck, please keep going.

andie2013

This feeling I cant shake off, I don't want to look myself in the mirror, I don't want pictures taken, I don't want to go out. When I was at my heaviest, I never felt like that this badly. I'm concerned. But thanks for all your input so far, y'all.

andie2013

despite my lack of "gym activity," I walk more than I ever had before because of where I'm living right now there's no bus to take and so getting to campus involves a little over 1 mile walk along with the walking getting to each class. I feel more out of shape than I did a year ago.