How do I tell my family??

koshkasmum

Only tell them that you are dieting if YOU want to. Otherwise, its just a change in eating you decided to make and its no-one's business but yours.

Don't be unhappy that your family didn't notice the loss especially if they haven't seen you for a while because you have been at University. It may be that they never had a mental image of you as heavy and so your new look did not jump out as different. OR it may be that its not easy to notice - as in my case. I carry most of my weight in one area and for years I have dressed to disguise the extra weight. I have not invested in a new wardrobe, and so a lot of people have not yet noticed that I have a lot less to disguise than a did a few months ago.

Be happy with your new health and look. They will clue in eventually. (especially when you step into a swimsuit this summer!!)

kcatlin9

Don't be discouraged. I had 70 to lose and people didn't start commenting to me until I lost about 40. Some people may notice but not say anything; not wanting you to feel like they thought you had weight to lose.

Keep it up. The comments will come. Use it as motivation and double down!

tatd_820

Don't tell them you are TRYING...tell them you are DOING and that you have already lost 22lbs and are eager to lose even more. Not sure of your goals and where you started but I know that for me it took a good 40lbs for me to really tell a noticeable change. So give it some more time and they will notice, eventually! Don't give up....do it for yourself...not them!

tatd_820

Don't be discouraged. I had 70 to lose and people didn't start commenting to me until I lost about 40. Some people may notice but not say anything; not wanting you to feel like they thought you had weight to lose.

Keep it up. The comments will come. Use it as motivation and double down!

I just posted about the same thing! Took me a good 40lbs for people to really notice. Keep with it!

leahharris93

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYBODY! This was my first every post om MFP, and I'm now feeling really motivated again and have really remembered why I wanted to lose weight in the first place- to be healthy and happy within myself, not for others to comment on.

ChristiH4000

20 lbs is so great! Way to go! Please don't give up just because you didn't get the reactions you were hoping for. In time, you will get them, but you can't risk your own health and progress over anything that anyone else does or doesn't do. This is your special thing that has to be just for you. Wishing you well and hope you stay the course. It is so very worth it.

DalekBrittany

For me, I don't usually say anything to people, even if I have noticed a weight loss. I usually just say "You look good" as a general statement. I think this is because I don't want to be like, "Have you lost weight, you look great" and have them think that they didn't look great before. Usually just asking, "Have you lost weight?" is enough, because if they have, they say yes, and get happy because I noticed, or they haven't, and they are happy because it looks as though they have.

04ward

First of all I want to say how proud I am that you had the discipline to lose weight while in college! Most gain! I know how you feel and I'm 50+ years old! A couple years ago, my husband and I started exercising together through a community program. He lost 30# and I lost 20# (from 183 to 163). I was SO excited! But, everywhere we went, everyone commented on my husband and how thin he looked, then he would tell them "Well, my wife lost 20!" (He was very supportive & encouraging), and then people would say "Ohh... well congratulations to you too." I felt HORRIBLE! I felt like if he had to tell them I had lost, then what was the use? I quit trying. He kept his off and I gained mine back plus some. NOW, I'm even more frustrated that I'm having to start all over again AND at a higher weight then I've ever been at before. Don't let what others say (or don't say) discourage you! You've come this far so keep it going and do it for you and NO ONE ELSE! GREAT JOB!!

liesevanlingen

It took about 30 lbs for me before people started noticing, (or, at least, saying something about it). I was 190 to begin with, so 30 lbs was 15% of my body weight. That's fairly high. If you have a lot to lose, it might take a little longer for people to notice. I have a good friend who is in the "morbidly obese" category of overweight (she was over 350 lbs at 5'1"). She had gastric surgery, but she had to lose more than 60 lbs before people really noticed (which is about 20%). So it does depend on where you started out.

Congratulations on the weight loss so far, though! Wherever you started, you are 22lbs closer to your goal than you were before! Keep up the good work, and we are here to help whenever you need a boost, some motivation, or even just a shoulder to cry on. You can do this!

Cullinanmarti

The situation of no response to your weight loss is disheartening but maybe your friends are just confused as to what to say. After all, you did not say anything to your friends because at the beginning of your journey, you had trouble admitting how fat you had become. Seriously, how do you tell someone gracefully, "oh! I noticed you are not as fat as you were?!?!?" . Just give them some grace and bring up the "fat" subject in a self-deprecating way. Something like,"I must admit I have so much more energy since I have been (working out, eating better, taking time to get healthy)......just open the door and your friends will notice. If they still don't notice, you might need to consider if your friends aren't really capable of notices positive change and whether these are the friends you want or need on your path to a healthy life.

squatsandlipgloss

Congrats on the weight loss. I know how it feels. When I lost 25+ lbs, no one said anything. Only my classmates did, but family and in-laws didn't say a thing, whereas my boyfriend had lost 5 lbs and they would all comment on it. So that was a little strange to me, but I figured it has nothing to do with them, it is not their business, I lose weight for my own health, not for anyone to notice, and once they will comment on it, I know I will not give a damn.

KageyKat

It took almost 30 pounds before most people noticed on me. It was kind of discouraging but then I would remind myself it was for me not them I was losing weight. Hang in there and keep up the good work.

keep2it

I'm also only 5'3 and started in January too. I've lost 20 lb so far and people have only just started to comment in the last week or so.

When the first friend commented I said to her "Thank you so much - you're the first person who's noticed". She replied "I actually noticed a week ago but didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how to ask without sounding nosy".

Sometimes people won't feel comfortable commenting until you wear an outfit that makes it really obvious, which can be hard if you are still wearing your 'starting' clothes. I think people are afraid of accidentally being wrong and insulting someone, so to be safe they don't say anything.

In the meantime, so that you can see the effect this has had on your health, try picking up 22 lb worth of stuff (big books are good and heavy) and see what that feels like. Because that is how much weight you don't have to carry around any more. Keep going and good luck!

sabrinalee8

I've never discussed my weight with my family/friends either. I agree though when you hope notice and give good comments about your weight loss, it is disappointing but remember you did it for you, not your family

peachfigs

Hi, I'm 19 and have been on a diet since January and I've lost 22lbs so far. I didn't tell my family or friends that I was on a diet, just because I find it a little bit awkward (I think because it makes me acknowledge that I was fat to begin with). I returned home from university a few weeks ago, thinking that everyone would comment on how much weight I've lost/that I look really good. But no one has said a thing. It has really really de-motivated me, and I don't see the point on carrying on if I don't even look any different. I know I'm losing the weight for me, and I will be so much healthier and feel a lot better when I reach my target weight, but it has really got me down.
I want to be able to tell my family/friends that I'm trying to lose weight so hopefully they can support me (and not think it's weird when I turn down dessert!).
Any advice is very welcome!!

22lbs is amazing and I am sure you DO look different. Don't feel discouraged about your family not saying anything - there could be many reasons for that and you can never truly know why. It could be that they don't want to acknowledge the loss in case you think they thought you needed to lose some weight in the first place. When I was at college, a friend came back from summer break looking completely different, and I was worried to say "you look great!" because it was like saying he didn't look great before.

Just let them know how much you have lost, and how much better you feel for doing so. Share with them your healthy eating and exercise tips, maybe they could learn something too. It doesn't need to be an embarrassing or touchy subject, there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight.

wbandel

Take pictures every time you lose 10-20lbs and then look at them compared to when you first started. Believe me, you'll see a difference even if no one else does. It can take a while for other people to notice, sometimes even 30-40lbs. That's when I really first started getting comments, and even then 98% of people I see don't mention it at all, probably to be polite.

I didn't want to tell my family in case I ended up giving up. So I kept it a big secret, no posting on facebook, no changing my profile pictures. It ended up shocking everyone when I saw them looking 50lbs lighter. That said, I told a couple of friends and family that I knew would be supportive and who have already been losing weight themselves. I figured they'd be supportive and understand.

You don't have to tell anyone unless you really want to and feel comfortable talking to them. I dont' hide that I log my food at the table, if someone asks what I'm doing I explain, otherwise I don't make a big deal about it. I know it could hurt some of my friends/family's feelings if I make too big of a deal about it in front of them, so I just do my thing without rubbing it in their face.

fit4lifeUcan2

Way to go! That is a big accomplishment especially with you being in school. The food choices on campus are not that good. I make sure I pack healthy snacks before I head to campus.

It took about 30 lbs for anyone other than my husband to notice my WL. My husband first noticed it in my face and neck. After the first 30 came off people started to ask if I was losing weight. Now that i've gone past my goal people practically squeal when they see me freaking out saying OMG you look GREAT!! Some want to know how I did it etc.

Buying new clothes is the fun part. First I started just taking in my clothes so they didn't hang on me like sacks. Then it got to the point where I could't take them in anymore. Only so much you can do when its the *kitten* send of your jeans that's hanging on you. Bra's will sag as well and those cups can't be taken in period! Try consignment shops or check out flea markets and yard sales for something to hold you over till you hit your goal weight. Then go bonkers and treat yourself! I was treating myself whenever I hit a small goal like first 10 pounds lost, then the next 10 or 5. Make your rewards fun but don't reward with food. your not a dog. I reward with a haircut or new top, see a movie, go to the park or attend some fun school events in a fancy outfit. Maybe get a friend to do your hair and makeup.

Again, good for you!! Keep up the good work! You can do it!

ambootcamp

I am sooo proud of you - 20 lbs on someone your height is DEFINITELY noticeable. I would guess people have noticed (unless you are hiding under old baggy clothes) but aren't commenting because they LOVE YOU and don't want you to feel pressured or judged on what you used to weigh. I have two daughters and I try to NEVER comment on their weight because I think women have enough outside pressure to be ridiculously thin. Just keep up the good work and try to be healthy and strong and don't worry about people not commenting - admire your new body in the mirror and document your progress!! We will give you all the kudos you crave!!

Amberlynnek

Don't be discouraged!! Remember you are doing this for you and not for them. One thing I found that when I returned after losing weight is that the people that were around me that needed to lose weight themselves struggled with a bit of jealousy and found it difficult to acknowledge my accomplishments when they couldn't achieve their own. Tell them so they know, screw 'em if they're not supportive!

A_Fit_Mom

I know how you feel. Family is usually the last to notice. I have only had coworkers notice.

I would say just keep going and know that you see the difference. I have mentioned it to a few family members, basically whenever they mention that they are trying to lose weight. I offer my advice and let them know I am doing the same. Then I mention how much I lost and they are shocked. Lol, usually do a double take.


Family are wary of saying something. They care about your feelings and don't want to offend. That is why they usually wait till it is undeniable that you lost weight.