Feel I am at a bit of a crossroads.

MrsLg

This post is gonna be a bit rambly I am afraid! I don't really know where I am going with it, just thought it would help to write it down.
I have lost 2 stone over the last couple of years and am really happy about that. However I am not really happy with how I look as I still have a real belly on me. My quandary is this.

I am 5ft 8 female and now weigh 131lb. This is obviously a fairly low weight for my height and I thought that when I got here I would have lost all the fat, but I haven't. However I don't think I should continue losing as I will be at such a low weight that I am pretty sure I won't be able to maintain it happily! Also I can't seem to get out of the weightloss mindset. I logged my food for today and was just under my calorie goal (which is still set for a deficit) so thought 'yay!' Then realised I didn't really want to lose anymore and should be aiming for my TDEE. But then I would be eating what I didn't really need - just wanted! Which didn't feel right, I am so programmed now to aim for losing!
Arhh! Sorry I know this is a little pointless, as I said, I just need to get it out. I keep thinking 'just lose another 1lb or 2lb' !

Any advice for a confused person?!

Also one other thing, on the 'in five weeks you will weigh.....' thing it said I would weigh more than I do now even though I hadn't even eaten at TDEE (which I got from Scooby). Whats that all about? It scared me!

michellekicks

In my opinion, give weight maintenance as much effort and attention as weight loss. The reason why people regain weight lost is partly because they stop being purposeful with their diet.

Yes, you need more calories to maintain or you will just keep losing... so just as you learned to cut some stuff out and re-configure what you ate to create a deficit, you need to do the same to bring your caloric level up without feeling stuffed. I recommend adding more healthy fats. Fat is high in calories and is vital to healthy body function. Where you may have cut out butter or cheese to lose weight, add some back in; if you've eaten leaner cuts of meat, choose something different - have a steak instead of a chicken breast. Use full-fat dairy instead of nonfat and stay away from sugar-free/no-sugar-added/diet/light foods.

If you are not lifting weights, I highly recommend you start. If you lift weights 3 times a week, any time you have a surplus day (from a party or whatnot) your body will be seeking to burn those extra calories to actually create new muscle tissue.

moochachip

Believe me when I say I understand where you are coming from. I myself still deal with that sore subject every time I face off the bathroom scale (hence why I am not allowed to own one anymore.)

My best advice is talk to someone you know. Face to face, not over the internet or the telephone. It will mean a lot more to you then advice from MFP. This person should be someone close to you.

It is hard to leave the state of mind that 'losing is good, gaining is bad.' Especially when your life has been revolving around that subject for quite some time. Instead of thinking about 'food that will help me lose', start thinking about 'food that will make me healthy.' Start aiming towards meeting that 0 number instead of hitting underneath. Pat yourself on the back for eating a healthy meal instead of one that is under 300 calories.

Hope this helps. MFP is a great resource for help, but having the people in your daily life be involved in your success is helpful as well.

kavanaghev

Lift weights, love! Then you can be purposeful with your diet, because you'll want to make sure you are eating enough to build muscle. Also, try to turn your focus from calories to hitting macros--it will help with what might feel like a need to be attentive lest you regain fat. I know what you are talking about with the "weight loss mindset", and I really feel you will have greater success (physically and mentally) by working on goals relating to body composition rather than scale weight.

MrsLg

Thanks for the replies, i will talk to someone real about it. I sort of talked to my friend who said not to lose any more as my weight is low, it's just that I don't feel right yet! I think i will change my cals to maintenance and see how I go. Maybe I'll get used to the tummy! X I will think about the lifting too, it is something I have considered but will hopefully be trying for another baby in a little over a year so may wait til after all that is done!

JenniCali1000

I agree with the pp that weight maintenance needs just as much attention as weight loss. A few years ago I was super attentive to my diet and exercise, got into awesome shape, and lost about 50 lb. I slowly stopped giving it the attention it deserved, and yep, you guessed it, I gained about 25 lb back! It's totally ok to be conscious of your choices.
Just keep making those healthy choices, stay active, work on building muscle (as other stated) and you'll be fine

MrsLg

Ok, thanks so much. I need to start by making sure my tdee is right and keeping a track on that first.

JesterMFP

Then realised I didn't really want to lose anymore and should be aiming for my TDEE. But then I would be eating what I didn't really need - just wanted! Which didn't feel right, I am so programmed now to aim for losing!

Your TDEE is the amount of energy your body uses in a day, so if you're eating your TDEE, you are absolutely eating what your body needs. You're not giving in, or being weak or indulgent, you are nourishing your body with the nutrients and energy it needs to go about its normal processes. Eating at a deficit is ok for a while while you need to lose weight, but it's not the ideal thing for your overall health. Your body needs energy!

Pay no attention to the "in 5 weeks you would weigh xx" thing. MFP is a calculator, that's all. Other calculators (such as Scooby's) use slightly different calculations and may be a little more or less accurate. The only way you're going to find your true TDEE is by experimenting and seeing how much you can eat without gaining. MFP slightly underestimates mine, so that weight predictor thing would never be accurate for me. The solution to that is - don't "complete" your diary, and you won't see that message any more.

Definitely consider resistance training of some sort, it can do wonders to change the shape of your body. It's also very important for maintaining muscle mass and bone density. I would encourage you to start sooner rather than later. I'm not an expert in pregnancy but I can only imagine that having a strong core would be beneficial to a pregnancy. In my opinion, part of this maintenance process is about self-acceptance. Very few people get to their goal weight and look like their version of a "perfect" body. So, in a way, "getting used to" your body as it is now isn't a bad idea. That doesn't mean accepting defeat though! If you look around the success stories here, there are lots of stories of women who have taken up heavy lifting and just got smaller/firmer without losing any more weight. It doesn't have to be in a gym, you can start with body weight exercises (just google "body weight exercises", or check out nerdfitness) and I bet you would see good results.

gaynorgosling1

Hi, I go to zumba and have recently started sentao, a zumba class that concentrates on your core - fantastic - everyone has noticed how firm my core is now. Don't be too obsessed with it - just think how fantastic you've done up until now and have fun by joining a class which will help you maintain your weight but tone up.

MrsLg

Thanks everyone, jester you make a lot of sense, thank you so much. I i really find keeping up with exercise hard, I always start something then give up after a few weeks. So that will be my next challenge I think.
And i have stopped pressing complete on my diary! I am eating just under my predicted tdee and will see what happens. If I don't gain then I will up it to what my tdee is predicted as.
So better look into some exercise!