Its Hard for me to say NO to food

GKAFitness

I come from a European background where you were considered healthy if you are nice and thick. In my family we would have four course meals every night, huge lunches and a filling breakfast every day (not really anything healthy). I always had to finish my plate, or my grandmother would cry at the table because I was to skinny, but by the time I turn ten I was obsessed. As I grew I didn't want to offend anyone when they offered me food so I would eat it, as much as they offered, then I would excuse myself and go though up. I thought this was a normal thing to do... after all "there are people starving, I should be so lucky to have an abundance to eat" So after ten years of being bulimic and hurting my self I was convicted to stop and learn how get healthy and to eat properly. These past few year have been hard. This is actually the first time I am looking to get help by talking about it. There are no any places that I feel I can go to for support, not in my community anyways . I never really learn how to judge when you are full. After I eat I fell so depressed because now I can't just go though it up I am stuck with the decision I made, I have no self control yet. I will plan out what I will eat, write it down and it all will be going well until someone offers me something..family will show up with something I haven't eaten in a long time, Its someones birthday (like every day) and they want me to have some cake..... I find it so hard to say NO. I need to learn how you say NO not only to others but also STOP to my self. Any advice?


*** Deep breath*** Send***

jennontheroad

I'm sorry about your past. I don't have advice about the bulimia- that is a big thing to overcome. Maybe look to find a support group, if not in person at least online (and one that is truly supportive, and not triggering or encouraging about those behaviours).

Regarding saying NO to food, for myself, I just tell myself- this is not the only time you can eat this. I remind myself that I can still obtain whatever food I want to overeat, another day, another meal. I remind myself that portion control does NOT equal an eating disorder, rather, it is what is necessary in our food-abundant society that has TOO many choices and TOO big of portions.
I also think about how my body will physically feel if I binge or dramatically overeat- it is not worth it for me.

And, if for some reason I am eating a very special kind of food that I rarely if ever have the chance to eat, then I will eat a little bit more than normal!

emibrus1

After I recovered from anorexia I found it extremely hard to say no to people offering me food as well. Partly because I didn't want to worry them (refusing food is a big indicator toward relapse) and partly because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I always get my feelings a little hurt if I cook something for someone and they don't want it! I never lay on the guilt though xD

Food inherently brings joy to most people. It's a sign of togetherness...a time of sharing company and being family. People crave it (and need it). But that should never EVER come with the sacrifice of your health or mental well being. Not ever.

This trick stems from anorexic behavior but please don't let it scare you...I'm fully recovered and I would never try to push you into bad behaviors! I had a bulimic friend once who bought 5 different colored bracelets (for money factors you can do 5 differently colored pony tail holders). It worked like this:

Red - Breakfast
Blue - Lunch
Purple - Dinner
Orange - Snack #1
Yellow - Snack #2

When she completed one of those meal types she would put that bracelet on. It helped her visually track what she'd eaten without pushing her so far as to track calories. I'm sure tracking calories later on would be a good idea...but she insisted that she first needed a more relaxed tactic to help control her appetite when she was bored. That way if you're at work and someone offers you cake you can slide on an orange or yellow bracelet/band...and know that you have 1 snack left. It's easy to forget that slice of cake when you're bored at night and prowling the pantry ya know?

You're welcome to add me if you want! We come from total opposite worlds when it comes to eating disorders...but I think a lot of our heartache stems from the same place. I'd be all too happy to help cheer you on while you take on this difficult challenge!

emibrus1

Haha wait a minute I just added you on my friend's list earlier! I memorize actual names so much better than user names xD I LOOK FORWARD TO SUPPORTING YOU AND I PROMISE TO NEVER FORGET WE'RE ALREADY FRIENDS xDD

Emoyn15

Saying no to food is my BIGGEST challenge. In the past I have been a secret eater. I would hoard food in my room as a kid and as an adult I am still ashamed to eat junk food in front of my husband of 8 years! I have been known to have an actual argument with myself about eating something I shouldn't and the food wins every single time. I have even eaten food out of the trash because I couldn't let it go!!! So don't feel so bad, you're not alone in your fight against food!

danwatto

Congrats on starting the journey. Although I'm here to lose weight, the great side effect is learning about eating healthy that comes from tracking my day.

About judging when you are full, that never worked for me. I love to eat!

The only thing that worked is tracking every single thing I eat even the bad.

Myfitnesspal on the iPhone app is soo much easier than I thought it could be. I let MFP set my calorie goal and I eat and exercise to match it. I just make a meal to be 1/3 - 1/4 of my daily goal.

If I feel hungry it's not because of the wrong quantity of food, but the wrong quality. Eg if I eat steak and broccoli/cauliflower I will feel no hunger for a long time. But if I eat pasta or McDonald's I'm going to be hungry again soon.