My sister... Should I say anything?

k_saenz

My sister is 6 years old, extremely spoiled, and loves to eat. That's fine, I still love her, however I don't love the food my dad gives her. They eat basically every single meal out. She refuses to eat anything except bacon, eggs, hash browns (all provided by our local McDonald's or restaurant) kids meals from Kentucky fried chicken and Wendy's, and then desserts-Ice cream, brownies, cookies, etc. I put apples in her lunch to at least give her something good. I know eggs and chicken are good for you, but not when they're all greasy and crap.
Oh and she only drinks Capri suns and Sunny D. No water or milk or anything, she refuses to drink them. She's not very active, she sits on the computer most of the time when shes home or plays on my dads phone, I've tried to talk to my dad about it, but he just gets mad. Should I say anything? Or just give up?

micheleb15

If your dad won't change what her options are, who are you going to say something to? I can't imagine trying to talk to a 6 year old about eating better. I would say mind your own business. There's nothing you can do besides cause issues.

mdcjmom

Honestly if you have the time try getting her to make things with you and then try them. Like slice and apple but give her sugar free caramel syrup to dip it in. Tortillas with hazelnut spread is great too kids think it is chocolate... things like that. That is how I got my autistic son to eat better. Small changes one step at a time.

johned63

Not sure you can say anything with her choices limited. You could encourage her to try new things by just talking about how much you like something - without it being a lecture.

How about if you see if she wants to go on a walk with her big sister, or perhaps to the park to swing or slide. Just getting out a little bit to have fun with her sister could get her away from the computer a bit :-)

khall86790

If your Dad isn't willing to support this I think you are going to have a tough time making any changes to her diet.
I think you should sit him down and have an honest conversation with him if you think you can get through to him, but if he isn't prepared to listen, unfortunately you just need to let him parent her as he seems appropriate.

Francl27

Maybe you could try and call her doctor to see if he will talk to your dad at the next check up. I feel really bad for your sister, it's not her fault and she's going to grow up overweight with horrible eating habits.

Alisha_countrymama

I'd just try to set a good example by what you eat. I changed how my son viewed food and what he eats (he's 7) but I'm his parent. So I had to be the one to do it. You're not her parent, so your hands are kind of tied.

jennifershoo

I assume you're not asking if you should say something to your sister but rather to your dad, right? Because he is the one making the horrible food choices for her. Basically, he is a bad parent. Lots of people eat like that in America and that's why there are so many obese and sick people. It all starts in the childhood. So of course, you should talk to your dad. Don't listen to other people who tell you who to mind your own business. It's your sister, so it IS your business!

donna_glasgow

your sister = your buisness ... .... if it were me I would talk to my dad, but also like suggested above I would involve my sister in cooking ...(kids love the attention) and get her making meals that she enjoys and will crave overf any Mcdonalds burger .... best of luck sounds like you need it

redraidergirl2009

I would say offer to do fun things with her like take her to the park or cook something with her together that way you avoid the dad thing and it may lead her to want to have more healthy habits...I mean a kid playing on the computer all day at age 6 is weird...maybe take her to kiddy zumba?

Sajenthan

It's your sister so I understand your concern for her long term well being. However, if you can't get support from the person feeding her or at least some recognition into what's happening, I would wait until she is a little older. If you had to do something, really drill your dad and make him understand the consequences of your sister's eating habits

BleedsCoffee

While your father does seem to be extremely resistant, you need to persist, for your sister's sake. It will be an uphill battle, it seems, but her health is that important. Try turning her on to healthy new foods (some of the suggestions in this thread are great) and see if your father might be willing to sit down and watch Super Size Me. Even if you have to barter with him, telling him you'll leave him alone about it for a while if he's willing to just take a look, it may help. It really is an eye-opener when you realize just how McDonald's targets children and the havoc it can wreak on our bodies to eat their food. While your hands are tied to some extent as the final word is his, there are some things you can do to try to highlight the importance of eating right.

mbrowens

YES DO SOMETHING! I am reading your post and the responses from others and am screaming on the inside. If your father isn't going to do anything about educating your little sister about healthy choices then it's up to you to do something about it. She's heading down the road to being another obesity statistic... if someone close to her doesn't help her now then she is going to spend years and possibly the rest of her life dealing with lack of self confidence, and her relationships, schoolwork, emotional, mental, and physical health are all going to suffer because of that.
If she was smoking cigarettes would you stand by and watch? You could change her entire life in amazing ways, and change yours while you're at it. I implore you to do your best and don't give up... your father could benefit from it too!

meramirez2012

:smooched: Since you aren't her guardian, setting a good example is about all you can do. I would encourage her to try the things you are eating and try to incorporate things like homemade popsicles using 100% juice, etc. There are healthy things even picky kids will eat, but it sure takes some creativity.

Carysta

As far as eating healthier, if you're using hazelnut spread, you might as well just have the chocolate bar, it's not nutricious at all. There is as much or more fat and calories in it as in a chocolate bar. Unless you are using it to try and sneak a banana in there... then I could see using it as camouflage

ctpeace

Ok, wow, OP, do not forget that your dad is the parent (those who said he was a bad one or that this is for sure her business are treading on very thin ice, and I would be wary of taking their advice) and not respecting him will only cause problems and tension, you're making great health decisions now, sign of maturity, so show him how great you're doing by also being respectful.
If you are going to talk with him, cool, just be adult about it, no complaining or accusing. Just express your concern politely and ask if maybe you can start cooking more at home, or taking little sis out for "fun time" (don't call it exercise, she won't be interested!) If you help out at home cooking something awesome, maybe even that your dad likes or your sister wants to try, you'll get dad thinking. Could you get a wii, invite your friends over and indirectly show her how fun it is to do something active? Also, my husband loves to post photos as we hike, everyone wants to take pictures of how cool they are doing active stuff these days, maybe instagram can become part of the play/workout routine and she'll want to get in it? Do your best to not be bossy, that will wreck all your efforts! Just live a healthy, happy, exciting lifestyle, she may not change her habits right away, but kids aren't dumb, she'll catch on!

Also, you know your sister and dad better than we do, and you know how they think. Try to find ways for this to make sense to them, being pushy in your own family is very tempting, but almost NEVER effective. Best to you!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Have you offered to cook meals for them? Batching cooking is the easiest way I can think to break them out of the fast food habit. Get fun containers for your sister's meals and include the foods she likes that freeze well.

Maybe ask your little sister to help you prepare meals too. My 3 and half year old loves to lend a hand. If she feels invested in the process, it will go smoother.

I would honestly be less concerned about this issue if all your sister's other needs are being met -- being a single parent is NOT easy. Your dad likely is taking your concern as criticism. Just offer to HELP without commentary.

Cognito1025

Get involved, don't be a biotch about it and offer to help with cooking and shopping for groceries. I'm sure your sister looks up to you, lead by example.

MercenaryNoetic26

I'm glad you're worried about your sister. That's so sweet. As long as there are enablers in the house (parents), there's not much you can do. Just do your best to lead by example. Let her see you working out and then eating healthy afterwards. Show her that you have more energy, are happier and healthier when you eat well. Ask her how she feels after eating McD's. Good luck with your sister. I have my own battle with my 10yr old because my husband has a sweet tooth and buys all the junk food. BUT, today, she ate an apple! That made me very happy!

michelle7673

You have a tremendous tool to use here -- the desire of a 6-year old girl to want to emulate her glamorous, grown up big sister. Don't underestimate it!! Cook with her, play with her, take her for walks. If you find one healthy thing she likes and will eat, work from there, even if it's the same thing every day for a while. And healthy is relative for this purpose. String cheese and any kind of fruit would be a victory. Whole grain toaster waffles would be a victory. How about Wii or other video dancing games?
You have the ability to fill her world with positive reinforcement and attention -- a much better and more seductive form of spoiling than junk food and electronics -- which at the end of the day are really proxies for attention.

werneket

Being that it's close family I would talk to Dad not with sister around. It isn't that the food is just unhealthy but she would be malnourished eating like that. I know it's not ez to get children fed and off to school and events. I am a big fan of no sugar added carnation instant breakfast... kids can mix it up them selves and can be put in a shaker for on the run food. Make her a gift basket of healthy choices, when your with her teach her how to read lables and think about what she puts in her body. I'm sure he loves her and wants her to have a good life.

I have a friend that feeds her kids 139g os sugar just for breakfast and lunch...when they should only get about 12.5 for a whole day. I still don't know how to talk to her about it. I do however teach her young son to think about the sugar in his food and he is learning. I love her kids and don't want them to be diabetic.

rosemaryhon

Well hopefully you can be a healthy role model, I know 6 y/o girls usually look up to older sisters.

Also, maybe you can incite her to be more active when with you ~ invite her out to play, take a walk, swim, etc.

ashharris424

Parents will ultimately be the main people to decide what the family eats simply because they are the ones who are buying the food. If a parent isn't willing to spend money on healthier options, then your hands are kind of tied. However, you can have a lot more control over her activity level. What is it she likes to do on the computer? If she's like my 6 year old niece, she'll be playing a lot of strategy games (Cut The Rope, Angry Birds). Give her a real-life version of the games she's playing. Set up an obstacle course, have a water balloon fight, or teach her some easy gymnastics. My niece loves music so we will usually crank up some One Direction and Selena Gomez and have a dance party! Then after you guys are done with your games, take her back inside and arrange a healthy snack. If she doesn't eat it, at least she got some activity.

erulasse

She's 6... Leave the eating for now; that's her parent's choice (no matter how terrible) it'll be fine in the long run, kids are pretty resilient.

However, you could always take her out! Bike riding, to rock climbing to just a game of soccer in the park! Get her moving; kids need to be active and this will also be a positive move without upsetting her father (Can he really be mad that you want to hang out with your little sis?)

In a few years, when the puppy fat starts turning into REAL fat, then teach her to manage her own food and to do it well.

Viva81Diva

As opinionated as I am, I would say something. I wouldn't necessarily try to all out argue though, but I would make my point. There are ways to sneak in healthy stuff with kids. Get your sister some Gerber snacks. They have dried yogurt snacks that have fruit and veggie servings in them, and just tell her it's like candy. You can mix her Capri-Suns and juice with water. I do that all the time with my baby because he only drinks water from my jug with the straw and no way else. Also, Capri Sun has Water Splashers, and they are flavored water drinks as opposed to the regular juice. Motts has juice for Tots with less sugar. You can always blend a fruit smoothie for her. There are tons of healthy smoothie recipes online. If she has to have ice cream, then get sherbet or frozen yogurt (dairy right there!). As for the chicken, I agree fast food is greasy, plus it's full of sodium. If you can cook, get some chicken breast and make your own chicken at home. You control the type of oil used if frying, plus reduce the amount of sodium in it. Peanut Butter works wonders with celery, and to add more flavor, top the logs with raisins.

I'm sure they have recess at school, so at least she is getting some type of activity. If you have bikes, then take her for a bike ride. Go play with her outside if it gets her to play. You can also do all sorts of things inside too. Play make believe and dress up. Changing over and over again burns calories because you are moving rather than just sitting. Teach her to dance. There are so many ways to get children active.

jennifershoo

Ok, wow, OP, do not forget that your dad is the parent (those who said he was a bad one or that this is for sure her business are treading on very thin ice, and I would be wary of taking their advice) and not respecting him will only cause problems and tension, you're making great health decisions now, sign of maturity, so show him how great you're doing by also being respectful.
If you are going to talk with him, cool, just be adult about it, no complaining or accusing. Just express your concern politely and ask if maybe you can start cooking more at home, or taking little sis out for "fun time" (don't call it exercise, she won't be interested!) If you help out at home cooking something awesome, maybe even that your dad likes or your sister wants to try, you'll get dad thinking. Could you get a wii, invite your friends over and indirectly show her how fun it is to do something active? Also, my husband loves to post photos as we hike, everyone wants to take pictures of how cool they are doing active stuff these days, maybe instagram can become part of the play/workout routine and she'll want to get in it? Do your best to not be bossy, that will wreck all your efforts! Just live a healthy, happy, exciting lifestyle, she may not change her habits right away, but kids aren't dumb, she'll catch on!

Also, you know your sister and dad better than we do, and you know how they think. Try to find ways for this to make sense to them, being pushy in your own family is very tempting, but almost NEVER effective. Best to you!

I stand by what I said. Her dad IS a bad parent. HE is the problem, not the little girl! She is only 6 years old!!!!! My son is that age. If I were to feed him McDonald's or other junk every day, of course he would be addicted, he's a kid! That's kind of messed up that so many people say she should just let her dad alone because he is the gardian and it's only his business. Yep, totally messed up. That's exactly what's wrong in America and why the obesity rate is so high.

shadowkat57

Can you try tweaking her current lifestyle, rather than trying for complete overhaul?
She likes the computer... could you get a Wii or Kinect and get her playing lots of active games?
She eats lots of fast food... could you make healthy home versions - lean beef burgers, oven baked potato wedges, chicken nuggets?
Instead of processed juice, you could teach her to squeeze her own?
Little changes will be easier to start with - then you can keep making little changes until she and your dad are totally healthy and don't even realise what's happened!

Joehenny

Although that is horrible. A 6 year old really shouldn't be hearing about diet and weight management, it's a a good path to body image issues. Far better to talk to their gaurdian. IMHO

MyChocolateDiet

You're old enough to take her places. take her fun active places. then while out and about show her yummy foods that are healthy for her. she'll end up requesting them from daddy eventually as anything you do will seem super cool to her. just don't FORCE the issue just happen to be at a healthy restaurant that you make seem cool for other reasons and just order whatever seems cool to you FOR you and then share it with her if she wants some. dont make a big deal about ordering for her or forcing her to order something healthy just order something "to share" and then if it's all gone, order another healthy thing "to share" it will seem fun to her and yet you won't be telling daddy what to do or facing her wrath of wanting to do her own thing.

ninerbuff

Tough situation. Hardly any parent I know of will take the advice of their kid. So I would look for advice to be given from an authority who is respected by your dad. A doctor, a dietician, heck even a fit teacher. It just sounds like your dad is feeding her the stuff because it's convenient and because it keeps her quiet.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

mamosh81

I would look up and print out some images and stories about what poor nutrition and to much sugar can do to children and show it to them both. Offer your advise on how to make healthier choices but if he dosnt want to change his lifestyle and make changes there is not much you can do sadly.

At least i am that close to my mom we talk about healthy food choices all the time and i give her tips how she can improve her food and what she can try cooking because she dosnt use the internet so runs out of new ideas sometimes