People that are Starving themselves

2

Replies

  • UrnAsh
    UrnAsh Posts: 207 Member
    I have mine on private for now because I'm embarrassed at the thought of people looking at what I eat LOL. I don't look at my friends diaries either but that just doesn't seem healthy. Won't your body start hoarding what little food that you are eating and cause you to gain weight anyways?
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
    I always looks at food diaries before commenting, so usually end up deleting people that net super low because I really have nothing nice to say and I'm not going to encourage their behavior, so there's really no reason for us to be "friends"
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
    So u care about these people enough to "unfriend" them, huh. U are an awesome person for that. Congrats!!
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
    You can only suggest they up their calories so many times, when they're obviously not taking the hint, yea. I'm not their mother, it's not my job to nag.
  • baptiste565
    baptiste565 Posts: 590 Member
    alot of judgmental people on this site. would u cut off someone if u thought they ate too much? or is it because u got this diet thing down to a science that u have no patience for others learning as they go?
  • LeeshLove
    LeeshLove Posts: 197
    It really saddens me when I see this, typically I will try to say something and see if I can help. Sometimes my comments are met with anger, other times they seem to appreciate my concern, but do what they want to do anyway. Unfortunately we can't save or help everybody. I have had a few people take my advice, and thank me for it.

    Some people are just really miss informed, as where others just don't care.

    I'm the type of person that wants to help everybody if I can (this has got me in trouble time or two). :ohwell:

    I think the best you can do is wish them well, delete them, and move on.

    It's recommend that women should not eat less 1,200 calories per day, and men should not eat less 1,800. Unless supervised by a doctor. I'm NOT a Dr. but my sister in law is a certified nutritionist and personal trainer, I tend to take her advice.
  • freebirdjones
    freebirdjones Posts: 236 Member
    I delete friends who don't have similar attitudes towards their goal. Being able to log on to similar foods and programs is my support, why do I need to read abuot your 5:2 if it won't help motivate me or assist me? I had someone today eat 500 cals and work out 500 cals and then say they didn't eat them back they wernt sure if they should... so okay that means 0 cals for that day? and then they said it was easy and they would have trouble eating 1200 today.. umm nuts? when Im not at my cals I'll eat nuts and protein bars. If by now you cant figure out how to bost your cals if you cant eat them and don't have the same plan Im done. Not a lot of people listen to advice if they think they have it all figured out. And whats with switching plans ever 6 weeks? How do you know what works?
  • Kanuenue
    Kanuenue Posts: 253 Member
    Most people can't maintain that kind of severe calorie cut. There is a reason why eating disorders are rare (1% of the population). They are deadly diseases, absolutely, but people maintaining a diary like that probably aren't being honest. Or maybe there is a reason they maintain a low count (the Zone diet advocates 1100 for small framed women).

    And maybe you should message them individually if you are actually concerned. Because I know what cures eating disorders and their potential victims- is someone making a broad public statement about others restriction habits and hoping the embarrassment makes them healthy again instead of driving them back down into a cycle of secretive actions to hide it from judgmental fatties (sarcasm here).

    Your heart may be in the right place, but it's poorly executed.
  • tcj83704
    tcj83704 Posts: 8
    I don't think it's good to judge anyone about their diets. I'm sure we have all suffered enough judgements and its not constructive at all. It is a personal choice. Just like its a personal choice to eat a 2000 calorie burger and fries meal. Nobody gets in unfriended for that and it's not healthy either. If someone unfriends me because if my food or calorie choices then they were not my "friend" in the first place. Friends help each other to make good choices. They don't unfriend you for making bad ones.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    At the risk of sounding mean, this has been addressed every damned day, those self-starvers have to know they're eating way too little. But as my daddy used to say, "You can't fix stupid".
  • Michellemarg
    Michellemarg Posts: 18
    Wow - and actually you can fix stupid - it is mean you can't fix. So hope that works out for you.
  • musicmint
    musicmint Posts: 469
    Honestly... I dont think you should delete them, but rather encourage them to do it the RIGHT way. The reason why they are starving themselves in the first place is for love and acceptance..
  • musicmint
    musicmint Posts: 469
    I don't think it's good to judge anyone about their diets. I'm sure we have all suffered enough judgements and its not constructive at all. It is a personal choice. Just like its a personal choice to eat a 2000 calorie burger and fries meal. Nobody gets in unfriended for that and it's not healthy either. If someone unfriends me because if my food or calorie choices then they were not my "friend" in the first place. Friends help each other to make good choices. They don't unfriend you for making bad ones.

    I agree....unless it is endangering you then it is a problem...a companion of fools suffers harm
  • ekahnicole
    ekahnicole Posts: 216 Member
    I think there's a difference between shaming someone's diet and not knowing how to help, feeling concerned, etc.

    I hadn't seen such extreme cases before, it shocked me.

    But yes I agree with others that mentioned needing friends here with similar beliefs and goals, that's what I'm here for after all.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    Usually people see my diary and say WTF bro why you eating so much LOL
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I would never comment on someones diary without being asked what I thought of it. I will comment on their losses, exercise, days logged in etc.... And always in a positive way!

    Now if they ask me for my "opinion" on their eating, I will give it.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    You could always point out to them that it isn't healthy before you just delete them.
  • aepdx
    aepdx Posts: 218 Member
    It drives me nuts too! I have deleted like 3 MFP friends because of that. Can’t stand seeing it.
  • choicewords
    choicewords Posts: 7 Member
    I try to keep to 1200 calories per day and avoid starches. But sometimes I surpass that daily goal by A LOT. So I also keep track of my calories per week. Whatever my overage is on a day or two, I try to make it up by eating less calories on following days to even things out for the week. So somtimes I do eat up eating maybe 800 calories a day. But I'm not trying to lose my weight by making that my daily goal. Just putting it out there. (BTW, when I do gorge out on one day, I generally find I'm not as hungry the next day anyway.)
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
    I actually will comment that I thought they ate too little and exercised too much. If I see they keep doing that I unfriend or wait for them to unfriend me. I don't want to support unhealthy habits and would hope my friends would tell me about myself if I'm eating too much junk or not enough as well.
  • b4chuck
    b4chuck Posts: 8
    Don't unfriend me! I rarely look at other people's food diaries. If I am reinforcing a negative behavior, I don't realize it. I will have to be more careful.

    OMG! I am new on here and do the same thing. I didn't think to look through the entire diary and ensure my "friends" are being healthy and safe. Kudos for this thread. It is enlightening.
  • melmckay99
    melmckay99 Posts: 358
    I think it would be a good idea to get the full story before just deleting these people, given that they even mean anything to you in the first place. I personally have some really low calorie days during the week (between 700-1000), but I have a very good reason for doing this: I like to eat 2000+ calories on Saturdays and Sundays :). I just make sure that my daily average is around where I want it to be which is about 1500 calories.
  • ainsleybtown
    ainsleybtown Posts: 484
    I think it would be a good idea to get the full story before just deleting these people, given that they even mean anything to you in the first place. I personally have some really low calorie days during the week (between 700-1000), but I have a very good reason for doing this: I like to eat 2000+ calories on Saturdays and Sundays :). I just make sure that my daily average is around where I want it to be which is about 1500 calories.


    I 100% agree. I have a trainer and I do what I'm told and it's working hella good!
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I tend to not try to run other peoples lives.

    I don't feel bad at all if someone lost 1lb and I say "Hey, nice, good job on the lb"...even if they only ate 800 calories a day. My applauding the loss isn't applauding the method they took to get there.

    It's a little different with "Help me posts", these to me are more of a "Please look over all my data and give me suggestions"...I would then give my opinion on their caloric intake.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    I try not to judge -

    I don't applaud those who under-eat, but I will provide guidance if they ask. Only if they ask. I do try to avoid adding friends that routinely under-eat because I just do not know how to properly support those people, but if I have a friend who changes to VLCD I will not delete them. I only delete those who stop regularly logging.
  • Kanohane
    Kanohane Posts: 112 Member
    It baffles me when I look at some people's diaries and see 500-800 calories a day, often with over 500 calories burned in exercise in a day.

    Honestly it's such a sad thing to see, if they haven't developed an eating disorder, they will.

    And you know what's worse (and what prompted me making this thread) is seeing people commenting after they complete their entry saying "great day!" "way to go" "awesome job!"

    :/

    I don't know if I should take them off of my friend's list or what, I just can't stand seeing that.
    You don't develop an eating disorder from super low calories..educate yourself before you attack vlc dieters...I hate those people that say...you MUST eat 1200 to lose or you'll starve, that's anorexiaaaaaa....fyi,I lost over 100lbs eating under 400 calories and I'm not dead nor do I have an ED....and I lost fast....with no loose skin, now I'm trying to eat healthy. EDs are mental disorders you either have one or you don't, I actually tried purging and....that lasted 3 days and I said screw it...I love food too much to ever have an ED. An ED is an mental illness that has several UNDERLYING factors that create it, mostly noted as defiance of some sort. Anorexia is lack of appetite I wish I was anorexic -_-....anorexia NERVOUSA. you can't become that....that's in DSM-IV Codes..a.k.a. literally "crazy" people, I'm talking people that see moving walls and turn into animals...... ... if you get Anorexia nervousa from vlc dieting... YOU ALREADY HAD IT before you started. Do them a favor and delete your self from their list.,
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    I just stopped adding people as friends...problem solved...
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
    I think there's a difference between shaming someone's diet and not knowing how to help, feeling concerned, etc.

    I hadn't seen such extreme cases before, it shocked me.

    But yes I agree with others that mentioned needing friends here with similar beliefs and goals, that's what I'm here for after all.

    I agree, most of us don't have the training or knowledge of psychology to be able to help someone with that mindset. I did the unhealthily low cal/disordered eating and workout thing for much of HS and college and i knew what i was doing the whole time, so I suppose I don't have much patience for people who are doing the same thing now (which kind of doesn't make sense in some ways but it is what it is), especially when it triggers back that thinking of "I could go lower than that, I can prove I've got the willpower, etc."
    I find it to be unhealthy for myself by keeping people around that encourage this.
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,123 Member
    As I sit here using my finger to scrape every ounce of peanut butter from my bowl...... I agree :) I've netted under 1200 before but not because I tried to... sometimes if I get busy at work and don't have a chance to eat my snacks it'll happen (I run 2 businesses and also have a part time job - so I go, go, go alot).

    On that note, I believe it may be the same for others. Not intentional - just not having time to get meals in, etc.
  • ivyana25
    ivyana25 Posts: 76
    I think it would be a good idea to get the full story before just deleting these people, given that they even mean anything to you in the first place. I personally have some really low calorie days during the week (between 700-1000), but I have a very good reason for doing this: I like to eat 2000+ calories on Saturdays and Sundays :). I just make sure that my daily average is around where I want it to be which is about 1500 calories.


    I 100% agree. I have a trainer and I do what I'm told and it's working hella good!

    This is what i do also... I watch what i eat very carefully during the week and on the weekend me and my family enjoy going out to new restaurants and eating whatever i please... Im glad to see that it has worked for you gals... :)

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