What are people's true thoughts of "strong women"?

mdn15
mdn15 Posts: 145
in Fitness and Exercise
I don't get men. I have read on various forums that some men like "muscular/ strong" women. At my gym, men are "scared" of me. Just because I can lift more than 1/2 the guys at the gym or can actually do real pull ups, dips, etc. does not mean I'm "intimidating" or a "bXXch".

Most women don't want to talk to me. Those who do actually realize that I'm pretty nice. I just work out hard. One women "cowarded" away from and moved away from me during kickboxing class. I was not even that close to hitting/ kicking her. I even told her that I can control my kicks and punches and will NEVER hurt her.

I don't think I look intimidating.... I'm 5 feet Size 4 w/ muscular and defined arms and legs. (Abs... another story :(... pregnancies do a number on the abs). I'm pretty "girly" too.. wearing skorts instead of gym shorts etc.

So when did I become the gym bXXch?
«134

Replies

  • EllaIsNotEnchanted
    EllaIsNotEnchanted Posts: 226 Member
    you didn't.
    They just became gym wimps.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
    I never realized that the gym was a social place. All these gym posts about people being rude or mean are foreign to me. I don't talk to anyone at the gym. I walk in, scan my card, smile at the desk person because I have my earbuds in and go workout. It's not because I am a b*tch, it's because I am not there to socailize.

    Why are you taking this personally?

    ETA: I consider myself to be pretty awesome and people don't talk to me either. I never think it's because they think I am scary or intimidating, they are just doing their own thing.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    in my gym the actually fit women are rockstars. constant attention from the meatheads
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm 6'1" with a fairly strong looking build. I box.
    The women in my class tend to steer clear of me.
    Lots of the men do too.

    But you know what? I take it as a compliment. I am strong. When I'm boxing, I look strong, powerful, kick *kitten*, and ALIVE. I also look a little wild, and aggressive, sweaty, and maybe a bit crazed.

    Who cares! I FEEL great!

    Yes, I intimidate people (they tell me this :laugh:), but their loss, not mine. The ones who take the time to know me, realize that I am gentle and compassionate and loving too. Those ones are the keepers.

    Dust the rest off, do your workout, and keep going.

    p.s. you do look fantastic
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    in my gym the actually fit women are rockstars. constant attention from the meatheads
    This is the case in most gyms in my area, but I imagine it likely varies from region to region.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Are you sure this isn't imagined?

    What do you mean the men are "scared" of you? How do they show that they are scared?

    Perhaps the woman in kickboxing class just thought she was a little too close. Or just prefered to stand closer to someone more at her level of fitness?
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Are you sure this isn't imagined?

    What do you mean the men are "scared" of you? How do they show that they are scared?

    Perhaps the woman in kickboxing class just thought she was a little too close. Or just prefered to stand closer to someone more at her level of fitness?

    How do you know any of this for sure?

    And why do you expect people to try to talk to you at the gym?
  • don3rd1981
    don3rd1981 Posts: 8 Member
    Strong women look great! But for what ever reason they always look p***ed off at the gyms I go to... I still say hi when I pass them, but rarely get a response. Maybe it's those angry looking strong women that give the rest a bad name. You know, like the stereotypical "meatheads" give any guy with a decent muscle build a bad name.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    I am not scared I talk to anyone. But I'm a slut.
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
    I think it is great, and would like to find someone who shares the same passion as myself someday.

    I think it's badass when i see chicks deadlifting, squatting etc.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    If they're scared of you, then stop chasing them with a knife and beating them up - they'll stop screaming.

    Or, perhaps, maybe they're giving you the space you look like you want.
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
    You don't scare me. LOL
  • JulesAlloggio
    JulesAlloggio Posts: 480 Member
    Does it really matter what people think of you?

    I live by the quote.. "Be the kind of person you want to meet"

    so if you're giving them the stink eye, then people will steer clear of you....no matter the size of muscles.

    I dunno..maybe try smiling a little more... a smile will always brighten someones day =)
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    They are strong?
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    My guess is that its not how you look or what you lift, but maybe the general vibe about you in not friendly. I dont think any decent guy will be a rude just based on what you lift. They may or may not be into you, but they wouldnt necessarily be rude.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I think they are awesome.


    No one talks to me at the gym either. I like it. I don't like people.
  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
    I think strong women are great; they take the pressure off of weak men. Seriously, I think its a great way of life. :wink:

    8488541.png
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    ya why do you want to talk at the gym anyway? if you are interested in someone, go say hi with a smile and not with attitude. if they dont want to talk, dont take it personally.

    Just lift with a smile. If you have a mean face while you deadlift a gazillion pounds, then you will be the muscle lady. With cats.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    I take Zumba at a dance center and teach at a Curves. Working out with men is a foreign concept to me.

    If I want to work out additionally, I do it at home. I'm there to work out, not socialize and preen.

    I'm strong in other ways.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Sometimes guys will tell you that they're scared of you or intimated by you as a complement. Not sure that is happening in your situation, but I've had it happen to me.
  • Whipppets
    Whipppets Posts: 267
    If you go to the gym at the same time everyday you tend to become friends with the people who like what you like.
    We all work out together in the classes and also do stuff outside of the gym. 3 of my mfp friends are from my gym
    and we plan our workouts via this site. I love the strong women and during body pump they are acknowledged as
    mentors to others.
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
    I never realized that the gym was a social place. All these gym posts about people being rude or mean are foreign to me. I don't talk to anyone at the gym. I walk in, scan my card, smile at the desk person because I have my earbuds in and go workout. It's not because I am a b*tch, it's because I am not there to socailize.

    Why are you taking this personally?

    ETA: I consider myself to be pretty awesome and people don't talk to me either. I never think it's because they think I am scary or intimidating, they are just doing their own thing.

    QFT. Literally SO TIRED of people focusing on the bad stuff. Do I get weirdly hit on at the gym? Yes. Do people look at me sideways sometimes? Sure. I recognize that 99.5% of the people of the gym though are just like me - they want to get in, do their workout, and get out - not socialize beyond a smile or a hello.

    I generally think we all need to stop victimizing ourselves so much (and i'm not so much talking about the OP, I've seen like 5-6 threads on this today). This thinking applies to most of life, whether it's diet/exercise/your job/how you raise your children/etc.

    Go into the gym/eat healthy/put your head down/kick *kitten* at work. Worry less about what others think. And if you're going to worry, focus on the good that surrounds you rather than the 1 or 2 "bad apples". They shouldn't spoil it for the whole bunch.
  • 5erious
    5erious Posts: 469
    I love a big strong independant woman who dont need no man
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    I didn't used to talk with people at my gym...but after being a regular there for a while I have discovered a sort of community there. I don't stand around and chat because I have 90 minutes of work to do and then my regular day outside the gym, but I occasionally get one of the guys saying stuff like "you're a beast!" and that makes me feel awesome. I even kind of like watching men lift less weight than me. lol It makes me feel accomplished.

    I am lucky at my gym - it is small and quiet and mostly those who attend are as serious as I am about getting my sweat on.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    you didn't.
    They just became gym wimps.

    this is true.
  • mumtoonegirl
    mumtoonegirl Posts: 586 Member
    I agree I am not at the gym to socialize, I have been fortunate that the men in the gym have been very respectful and polite since I started going to the weight area. I go in, focus and leave.
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    ya why do you want to talk at the gym anyway? if you are interested in someone, go say hi with a smile and not with attitude. if they dont want to talk, dont take it personally.

    Just lift with a smile. If you have a mean face while you deadlift a gazillion pounds, then you will be the muscle lady. With cats.

    Can I have dogs instead???
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    ya why do you want to talk at the gym anyway? if you are interested in someone, go say hi with a smile and not with attitude. if they dont want to talk, dont take it personally.

    Just lift with a smile. If you have a mean face while you deadlift a gazillion pounds, then you will be the muscle lady. With cats.

    Can I have dogs instead???

    You are always breaking the mold, so yeah, exception for you! Muscle lady. With dogs. Woof!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    You are overthinking this. I have found that lifters are pretty awesome people when among others with similar training philosophies and positive attitudes. But they also tend to be pretty hardcore when they're in the gym, and the only interaction they care to have is when asking or being asked for a spot. I am one of those people. It's not that I'm scared of anyone. I just feel like I get a better, more productive training session when I am dialed in on the task at hand and not being expected to chat up everyone around me.

    As for what people think of "strong women," if you are mostly talking about men, I think you're going to get the same answer here as on the threads asking about body type preferences. Some men love strong women, some prefer the weak and fragile type, some prefer something in between. But I suspect no man prefers a woman who is insecure.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Noone knows for sure what someone else is thinking, but is it possible this might be a little projection of insecurities. When I go to the gym, I don't talk to anyone. I put my headphones in and workout. I might nod and smile and say hello, but other than that...

    I am not really intimidated by male or female at the gym. There are two people at my gym who lift, those stronger and more muscular than me and those weaker and less muscular. I assume none are looking to physically assault me.

    If i see a woman working out, I don't really think of anything other than, "good for her".

    Idk...I'm 6'4 220 though so maybe others think differently but unless people clear out and duck when you walk by I don't think this is an issue.

    ETA: Also, be careful what you wish for. I am predicting the 65 year old creeper guy (every gym has one) will be visiting you to offer a form critique as some sort of karmic response to this topic. :laugh:

Categories