How to keep on diet when staying with other people?

ediebo20

Hi everyone,
I have a small dilemma - I am currently on a healthy eating plan and starting to maintain rather than lose weight which is a challenge in itself (I will be posting about that soon...!), I am currently worrying because I am going abroad for a month in June and staying with my boyfriends family who live there for the duration of that time.

I have stayed with his family before but not whilst I've been on a diet. They are very much 'foodies' and when I have been there previously I have put on about 5lbs in a week! Even then I am constantly refusing second helpings, fatty meals etc, and have always felt really rude about doing so. I have worked really hard in losing this weight but I don't want to be that annoying 'dieter' who refuses everything. They add dressing/cheese/yoghurt (EVERYTHING) to anything, drink lots of alcohol (which I have cut out) and it is panicking me a little bit. Although I am on maintenance now so am slowly increasing calories, I really do not want to backtrack by adapting to their eating habits. 20lbs is a lot to lose after the holiday if history repeats itself!

Please help!

Thank you!

ediebo20

Bump! (slowly approaching this trip & need advice on what to do!)

ElizabethKalmbach

Honestly, if you're on a special eating plan with parameters, and they are truly foodies... TELL THEM. They will take on your eating plan as a challenge.

Be upfront about what you are doing and what you will need. That's not rude, it's allowing them to be prepared, and setting yourself up for success.

dwh77tx

In my opinion, there are 2 options- 1 is not to stay with them. The other option is to take small portions and firmly say "I'm full." when offered seconds and try to be active when you are there. Don't worry about being rude if turning down food. Just say no thank you and start a new conversation about something else. My 2 cents!

janebshaw

My advice is to tell them that you really appreciate their hospitality, and absolutely insist on returning the favor by providing at least some of your own food and sharing it with them.

rachface1234

How close are you to these people? I'm a foodie too, but I love the challenge when somebody has a special diet or is doing healthy eating, can you get them involved? Maybe beforehand, share how much you enjoy being with them and eating their delicious cooking, but that you have worked really hard to get healthy and want their support, challenge them with helping you come up with some new healthy recipes to add to your repertoire! Or offer to cook one night and stun them with healthy and delicious foods! See if there is anyway you can center some of your activities around things besides food. If these are people you care about and they care about you back, they should be open to some of these thoughts, as long as you make it about your healthy journey and not theirs. Are there ways you can eat maybe lunch and breakfast really light and high nutrient and then have a half portion of their big dinner for example?

healthygreek

You just have to be strong and stick to plan as much as possible. Fill up on veggies and salads and proteins. Politely refuse extra helpings. You can eat a variety without overdoing. We travel to Europe and stay 3 weeks at a time. We eat very well but we watch. We walk everywhere and use stairs. We drink wine too. We don't gain or maybe gain 1-3 pounds that is easily worked off. It is possible but you must be strong and eat what u want and leave the rest. They'll get used to it. Just complement what you eat and be friendly about everything.

sagreenious

That’s really hard.

Can you offer to help meals? Then you can control what goes in. Or perhaps you can have some nights off with your partner so you don’t hang out with his family every day and then you can pick your own food.
Can you request sauces be done separately so you only take a little bit?
I think you’ll have to say that you are on a diet/eating healthier and that while you really enjoy their food you can’t eat everything because it is at odds with the work you have put in. Maybe join in one their full meals once or twice a week? Let them know that you aren’t criticising their weight or eating habits, but you know what works for you.
I assume that breakfast and lunch is easier and it’s mostly dinner that’s the problem. Breakfast you can buy your own cereal/bread/milk etc and have what you want. Lunch you can prepare a salad or make a sandwich.
Could you buy in healthy low fat/low cal snacks for yourself? I try to stick to rice cakes and fruit when I want a snack.

Drink lots of water and just say no to alcohol. Get your partner to back you up.

If they start saying you are dieting wrong just keep your head high and remember that you know what works for you.

HollisGrant

Stand up for yourself in a pleasant way. Have a little and then that's enough. If you have to, say you've lost weight/improved your health etc. (find a simple, honest, nice way to say it), but for them to please go ahead by all means and enjoy themselves. The more you do this in a simple, pleasant way without making a big deal out of it, the easier it gets.

Also, you might get a water bottle, fill it with water and lemon slices, and keep it with you because it will give you something to hold in your hands.

Social situations are really tough. Right now I am eating beforehand so I don't go into them hungry, but if you can't do that, you have to nicely stand up for yourself. It's hard. Maybe you can pack a few protein shakes or something like that to curb your hunger so you don't face a calorie laden meal when you are starving.

Editing this to add you might pack a few limes and slice them to squeeze on your salads instead of dressing.

sagreenious

Or just eat their good and do lots of exercise every day.

Lalasharni

This is'nt the easiest - but it can be done. You dont say which country you're going to - that may help me be a little more factual.
Get your boyfriend onside first. Explain your fears to him and ask him if he'd rather have you 20lbs heavier when you come home - bet he will take your side then.
when you get there - have a heart to hear with his mum/auntie/sister - whichever is the dominent female. Tell them that you did this for your own health and for her son/brother etc, so that he would be proud of you and you dont want to let him down.
Ask for your food to be served with dressing on the side - then leave it - or most of it.
The alcohol is a problem, You've given up you say - well good for you!! Tell them that your liver is still recovering (which it will be)
and you would rather drink fruit juices or water - stick to it - refuse alcohol politely and say that you don't drink now. Its tough being the only sober one in a room full of wine-fuelled people, but I do it regularly - and you can live with it for the holiday at least.
Dont let anyone sidetrack you into slipping - it you really want to drink, then have one - and no more - but make sure you drink water too - or dilute your wine with water into a spritzer. Walk a lot - get fresh air and you'll survive this.
You seem to have done amazingly well and are now maintaining.
You need to allow yourself a few treats, but for the most part, stay with it - well done!
Have a great vacation, and come back and tell us how it went.

55in13

I think you know the answer, but you indicated you just don't like it because you think it is rude. You could sit down with the obvious person (I am not trying to be sexist, but it is usually the family matriarch) right after you get there and explain that you mean no offense when you ask for only single small portions. Tell her (again, my assumption) that you enjoy the food very much but that you also enjoy the success you had in dieting. You might even ask for help in not over indulging ("please don't offer too much because I know I will not be able to resist"). But what it really comes down to is that you have to limit what you eat, with or without help or understanding from your hosts.

wingyanwin

i would "keep eating" very slowly
foodies tends to encourage you eat whenever u stop
or when ur plate is empty
so better eat slow
count what u ate!

have fun!