How do I drive my paleo coworker crazy?

Derpes

Every time he starts up, begin trying to convert him to Scientology. Play doh models are highly recommended.

If all else fails, attempt to Vader force-choke him

^This.

If you release him from the force choke, start asking about permissible exposure limits for "contaminants" that he fears most from the dreaded non-paleo foods.

Also, ask him if we should abandon all modern technology, science, and infrastructure in order to mimic a true caveman lifestyle.

MorgueBabe

I like turtles.

Correct response for everything.

LOL

Ask him if he only eat local food 100%.... like walking distance, no trucks brought it anywhere. I had somewhere to go with this but I forgot.

keepongoingnmw

Talk like a caveman. "Me like food. Food good. Me lunch now." etc.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA I freakin DARE you to do this! Oh please, pretty please with sugar (or bacon) on top do this and report back!!!!!

Gwyn1969

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he might like my blog:

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/paleo-bread-recipe/

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/the-lower-palaeolithic-diet/

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2012/11/01/the-reality-of-palaeolithic-diets/ <-- tell him if he's not eating hippos he's doing it wrong....

btw I'm a palaeoanthropology nerd and studied a lot of this at university (albeit more than a decade ago and I'm still catching up on recent developments in palaeoanthropology)

I have nothing against the concept behind the palaeo diet, i.e. eating the diet we evolved to eat, however a) it's a bit extreme and not strictly necessary to cut out foods like dairy if you're not actually allergic or intolerant to them... humans are highly adaptable... and b) most of what gets put on the internet about the paleo diet is pseudoscience. Dairy is the only truly post-neolithic food (you can't milk wild animals), because neolithic man sure as anything didn't start cultivating foods no-one had ever eaten before...! They certainly didn't invent them, they just cultivated them. The main issue from a health standpoint is that the hunter-gatherer diet was wide and varied, while the neolithic diet relied very heavily on large quantities of a small number of plants, which led to nutritional deficiencies. There is an issue with cultivated varieties being more allergenic, and it's true that people from populations who have been hunter-gatherers until recent times have higher levels of lactose intolerance (which is evidence that people from populations with a long history of farming have adapted to be able to digest dairy!)... but there's no actual need to give up foods you're not allergic or intolerant to.

When I was at uni, one of the palaeoanthropology lecturers told us about the concept of palaeo dieting (this was in the late 90s) yet what he presented was totally different to what's on the internet now... the diet he talked about advised eating a very wide range of different plant foods rather than 2-3 staples, and also (where possible) to choose wild meat over farmed meat (domestic animals have undergone selective breeding just as domestic plants have!). Additionally, the main thing that stopped palaeolithic people from becoming obese is the amount of exercise they had to do to find food in the first place.

The upshot of it is if he's being self righteous, you can probably shut him up from some actual palaeoanthropology from actual peer reviewed journals. There's a phone app out there that you put a food in and it tells you if it's paleo or not........... Yet the journal of human evolution can't do that, so how is some food guru's phone app going to be able to tell me stuff about the diets of palaeolithic peoples that peer reviewed journals can't? "Caveman" (not the most accurate term really because most palaeolithic people didn't actually live in caves, just that caves preserve the remains of those that did a whole lot better than those who lived and died on the plains, in forests, etc) ate wild grains and legumes, and if you get into the whole wild v cultivated thing, you'll find it's practically impossible to get wild vareties of anything except meat and fish/seafood nowadays. Practically every plant in the supermarket will be a cultivated variety that's been subject to some degree of selective breeding. Look up how different wild bananas are to the cultivated varieties of banana and plantain you get in the supermarket.
[/quote]

This was a great post.

Gwyn1969

he might like my blog:

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/paleo-bread-recipe/

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/the-lower-palaeolithic-diet/

http://cavepeopleandstuff.wordpress.com/2012/11/01/the-reality-of-palaeolithic-diets/ <-- tell him if he's not eating hippos he's doing it wrong....

btw I'm a palaeoanthropology nerd and studied a lot of this at university (albeit more than a decade ago and I'm still catching up on recent developments in palaeoanthropology)

I have nothing against the concept behind the palaeo diet, i.e. eating the diet we evolved to eat, however a) it's a bit extreme and not strictly necessary to cut out foods like dairy if you're not actually allergic or intolerant to them... humans are highly adaptable... and b) most of what gets put on the internet about the paleo diet is pseudoscience. Dairy is the only truly post-neolithic food (you can't milk wild animals), because neolithic man sure as anything didn't start cultivating foods no-one had ever eaten before...! They certainly didn't invent them, they just cultivated them. The main issue from a health standpoint is that the hunter-gatherer diet was wide and varied, while the neolithic diet relied very heavily on large quantities of a small number of plants, which led to nutritional deficiencies. There is an issue with cultivated varieties being more allergenic, and it's true that people from populations who have been hunter-gatherers until recent times have higher levels of lactose intolerance (which is evidence that people from populations with a long history of farming have adapted to be able to digest dairy!)... but there's no actual need to give up foods you're not allergic or intolerant to.

When I was at uni, one of the palaeoanthropology lecturers told us about the concept of palaeo dieting (this was in the late 90s) yet what he presented was totally different to what's on the internet now... the diet he talked about advised eating a very wide range of different plant foods rather than 2-3 staples, and also (where possible) to choose wild meat over farmed meat (domestic animals have undergone selective breeding just as domestic plants have!). Additionally, the main thing that stopped palaeolithic people from becoming obese is the amount of exercise they had to do to find food in the first place.

The upshot of it is if he's being self righteous, you can probably shut him up from some actual palaeoanthropology from actual peer reviewed journals. There's a phone app out there that you put a food in and it tells you if it's paleo or not........... Yet the journal of human evolution can't do that, so how is some food guru's phone app going to be able to tell me stuff about the diets of palaeolithic peoples that peer reviewed journals can't? "Caveman" (not the most accurate term really because most palaeolithic people didn't actually live in caves, just that caves preserve the remains of those that did a whole lot better than those who lived and died on the plains, in forests, etc) ate wild grains and legumes, and if you get into the whole wild v cultivated thing, you'll find it's practically impossible to get wild vareties of anything except meat and fish/seafood nowadays. Practically every plant in the supermarket will be a cultivated variety that's been subject to some degree of selective breeding. Look up how different wild bananas are to the cultivated varieties of banana and plantain you get in the supermarket.

[/quote]

This was a great post.

cranium853

Started a new job last week. Sharing a tiny office with a crazy paleo guy. He spent the day lecturing me about beans making ricin and leeching nutrients from my colon.

He is VERY preachy and I just don't need that. I am not a junk food person at all, I eat mainly just good home prepared food. I really don't believe the hype about eating such extreme diets where you cut out so many foods and eat so much bacon and steak. Not my thing.

I'd really like to have a bit of info to toss back at him when his mouth keeps flapping and all of this nonsense tumbles out. Any ideas?

cranium853

I just tell 'em that cavemen would have looooved waffles. Because it's true.

workavoidance

I dunno. Maybe mention all the progress the human race has been able to make since the advent of agriculture. You know... like civilization and a life expectancy that's about 50 years longer. All do to our ability to cultivate non paleo foods, get better nutrition, support larger populations, etc.

Cp731

Tell him how much you love Banana and Ice cream sandwiches, with momosa's for breakfast and you wash it down with a hint of skittles, cuz you like to tassssssste the raaaaaainbowww

meaningful99

You could tell him that archaeological studies of paleolithic dental remains in Europe uncovered plaque containing barley and legumes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMOjVYgYaG8

Or you could just wait because the paleo diet is gross and no one ever sticks to it for very long.

katedevall

Tell him how much you love Banana and Ice cream sandwiches, with momosa's for breakfast and you wash it down with a hint of skittles, cuz you like to tassssssste the raaaaaainbowww

This ^^^
Or just just tell him to shove iit

Cp731

Show him a picture of your 52 cats

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JenAndSome

Look the man straight in the eye and say "I appreciate that you are enthusiastic about food, but could we talk about something else?" If that doesn't work, throat punch him.

RllyGudTweetr

Nod, smile, make appropriate attentive listening noises, then offer him some cheese-flavored potato chips.

gmallan

Bring is tasty non-paleo breads and baking just to taunt him, he'll eventually break

lovemyawv

Try this...I do it to my kids...and they now "get" that I am not going to engage in a debate. Say 1 of these things......
1. oh dear
2. I will keep that in mind
3. now that is something to think about

Its actually good to know these phrases, you will be surprised how many times you can use them.

redheaddee

I think I would have Hardees Thick Burgers with Bacon and Extra Bacon for a week, see how good his resolve truly is.


Of course you would eat nothing else or days, or develop short term bulimia to compensate, but whatevs. :laugh:

AlongCame_Molly

Any of the following would be an appropriate response:

ryry_

Buy him two books...Paleofantasy and 12 Paleo Myths

Cp731

Keep a box of pizza in you desk and give him this look as soon as he starts in on his spiel.

HAHAHAHAHAHA...
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Don't go with out these!!!!