I need a 4000-5000 calorie day

DandelionCupcakes

Just drink 4000 calories worth of alcohol. Why would you want to dilute that delicious feeling with food? Stick to campus areas. You should be able to find plenty near the frats and sororities. Stock pile during rush week. And if you really need something more solid, just pop into the party for some jello shots and ramen noodles.

I like your thinking. However, I like to pretend to be a dinosaur when I eat, and that's something I can't replicate with drink alone

I can see your dilemma. What kind of dinosaur exactly? You can alternate creeping the frat trash with pawing through the campus cafeteria dumpsters. Dorm food isn't great, but you can roar at it and tear it up. Unless you're more of a vegetarian dinosaur, in which case, you'll want to hang out behing the Souper Salad next to the strip club.

I lean mostly in the direction of T-Rex because I like to pretend I have comically small arms. But if I've been on the downers I'm known to go for a bit of Pteraydon.

If you're going for more of a t-rex look, I recommend several small meals throughout the day. If you lift too heavy your arms will become bulky and you'll no longer have that feminine t-rex figure.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

Eat a whole jar of peanut butter, that would give you about 3,200 calories right there. If the pantry gives you jelly, that's about another 800, so you'd have your 4,000. Just take a spoon from McDonald's. I'm not for eating strays, unless it's opossum, since they're freaky looking anyway. Eating the druggies might not be a good idea, since, you know, they have drugs in them. Gotta keep it clean, sister!

I like this idea but I'm not allowed inside any McDonald's that has a playground. I used to wait at the end of the slide and tell kids their parents were dead.

Anyone know other places where I can get a spoon?

Shoot, then just use your fingers. Any dirt on your hands will add to your mineral intake, and help introduce your body to new bacteria so you'll be an infection fighting machine!

jonnythan

I dunno about Australia, but here you can get 720 calorie Totino's pizzas for about a dollar. A few of them would do the trick.

Also, we have Cici's pizza buffets. All you can eat pizza, dessert pizza, and cinnamon rolls. It's hard to eat less than 2500 calories there in one sitting. And it's $5.

Ohhh Cici's.....chocolate pizza.....mmmmhhhhhhhh

Your Cici's has chocolate pizza?!?! :noway:

I've never seen chocolate pizza, but they have Bavarian Cream pizza. And it's about as amazing as it sounds.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Hi guys

I need to eat a bunch of calories because reasons.

However I have taken to vagrancy lately because I feel that it gives me more artistic depth, opportunity to learn different stabbing methods and insane people to induct into my regime. I'm enjoying the toilet meth and the action I'm getting, but finding calorie dense food can be hard. Can anyone suggest some ways I can reach my goal with good commonly found in dumpsters and soup kitchens?

Move into a cardboard box behind the veterinary clinic. Then when you dumpster dive, you will have plenty of meat in your diet. You can set the corpses up as if they are alive, and play T-Rex coming into the pack/pride, and attacking the prey animals too.

Chances are you will put the chinese restaurant on this block out of business as you will devour their entire source of meat.

katarina236

Resort to cannibalism. I believe people coked out of their heads in public toilets would be easy prey. All the proteins!

I read this in a little kids voice and now I'm laughing my head off at work. lol

CallMeCupcakeDammit

I dunno about Australia, but here you can get 720 calorie Totino's pizzas for about a dollar. A few of them would do the trick.

Also, we have Cici's pizza buffets. All you can eat pizza, dessert pizza, and cinnamon rolls. It's hard to eat less than 2500 calories there in one sitting. And it's $5.

Ohhh Cici's.....chocolate pizza.....mmmmhhhhhhhh

Your Cici's has chocolate pizza?!?! :noway:

I've never seen chocolate pizza, but they have Bavarian Cream pizza. And it's about as amazing as it sounds.

We don't have that one either! I'm filing a petition. We have brownies, apple strudel and cinnamon rolls at the ones near me.

MFPRat

Hotdog water...it's the answer to everything.