Falling back into bad habits

tachyon_master

I know it's not a good thing, but I'm worried I'm about to start falling into bad habits again. I hit my goal weight and have attempted to move to maintenance, and technically speaking my current weight is classified as "underweight" based on BMI. I know BMI is problematic for athletes, and I consider myself to more or less be in that category, so I was never really concerned about being a little below what science tells me I should be at. I consider that I eat well, and I exercise well.

But I've had an ongoing issue with personal stuff recently, and my coping mechanism seems to have fallen to "just eat what you want, the exercise will make up for it". I thought I'd been doing ok with it all, and eating "what I want" wasn't causing me too many issues, because what I want is normally relatively healthy. Lots of fruit and salad and stuff like that. But in the last week or so it's been more like "how much pizza can I eat in one sitting" and "how much cheese and sour cream can I stuff into this Mexican food".

Tonight alone for dinner I ate: salt and pepper squid with garlic aioli, an entire loaf of garlic bread, an entire pepperoni pizza, a slice of baklava, and drank 3-4 pints of cider.

I know this isn't healthy. I know this isn't a good coping mechanism to deal with my problems. But it's what I seem to be reverting to.

I'm still under my calorie goal for the week at this point - barely. I'm just concerned that if I keep heading in this direction, I'm going to start putting on all the hard earned pounds that I've lost in the last 18 months. I know one meal like this won't kill me, but I don't want it to become a habit again. One meal like this might be considered a "refeed" (today was one of my heavy lifting days)...But it's not really a refeed when you're doing it a few times a week.

Does anybody have any advice on how to find a better coping mechanism when life just goes to hell? I'm already training 2 hours a day, so please don't suggest more exercise!!!

cranium853

Being a healthy weight and sick isn't so good. I'm married to a runner who lives on corn dogs and Doritos, and I worry about his future as much as I do mine if I don't shape up.

Change breaks bad habits. When I stopped drinking I did macramé for hours because I couldn't hold a glass and the cord at the same time and the knotting distracted me. When I'm stressed I paint walls- it's mindless but exacting work be careful on those edges!) and it's multisensory: I smell it, I smell me, I see change and color, I move and move and move in calm waves. Also meditation to admit and address stress can be really helpful. My goal is to have a healthy life, not a healthy *kitten*. Sometimes it's just going online and playing video games that keeps me from finding a deep end to go off. Anything.

tachyon_master

Being a healthy weight and sick isn't so good. I'm married to a runner who lives on corn dogs and Doritos, and I worry about his future as much as I do mine if I don't shape up.

Change breaks bad habits. When I stopped drinking I did macramé for hours because I couldn't hold a glass and the cord at the same time and the knotting distracted me. When I'm stressed I paint walls- it's mindless but exacting work be careful on those edges!) and it's multisensory: I smell it, I smell me, I see change and color, I move and move and move in calm waves. Also meditation to admit and address stress can be really helpful. My goal is to have a healthy life, not a healthy *kitten*. Sometimes it's just going online and playing video games that keeps me from finding a deep end to go off. Anything.

I need to have a "healthy *kitten*" for at least another 6 months. I'm actually training for something specific and it's got pretty intense fitness requirements. I guess I thought I was dealing with the training and dietary restrictions better than I thought I was. The personal stuff just seems to have exacerbated the issue in the last couple of weeks

rosebarnalice

Good for you in reaching out and calling yourself on your own *kitten*. That can be the hardest part.

Get back in there-- log, make good choices, and don't let one stumble knock you out of the race!