When will they notice!!?

canlow

Sometimes it is hard to stay motivated! I have lost 33 pounds and the people that I want to notice the MOST aren't saying anything. I made the decision when I first started this life change (January 27th, 2013), that I wasn't going to let anyone know that I was eating less and healthier and doing some exercising. I didn't want to go through the whole "WOW! You're really losing the weight!" - just because they KNEW that I was trying to. Been there. Done that. I really didn't feel like having "compliments" that weren't genuine, but instead used to make me feel better. People at work have noticed my weight loss, which is nice, but they also have lunch with me at work everyday and see the foods that I eat. So, even though I didn't announce to them my plan of weight loss, it's pretty clear when I went from eating complete JUNK to healthier options and always have water right by my side. I am very proud of my weight loss and am shocked that I have stuck with it this long. I've had diets off and on for years (like everyone), but have never ever lost more than 10 pounds with each time. I told my husband that I didn't want him to tell anyone of my lifestyle change, so that if I were to receive compliments about shedding the pounds, I'd know that people just couldn't help but notice. He acted like it was the stupidest thing to keep it a secret and coudn't understand it was because all the times people had given me the sympathy words. At a birthday party one day, about 6 weeks into my change, my father-in-law says, "So.. how is the weight loss coming along!?" I looked at my husband with the crazy eyes for sure. He knew he messed up by telling. And honestly my feelings on the whole thing is if someone has to ASK how the weight loss is, clearly it hasn't been enough time to notice a change. My husband assures me that he is so proud of me for doing this that he just let it slip to his Dad on the phone. Needless to say I've moved on from trying to necessarily hide the fact of trying to drop weight and just do it. My family members that I have seen once every week for the 15 weeks so far have not said a thing! It hurts because I was sure by now, after 33 pounds lost, I'd hear some positive feedback. I don't know how to take it really. Should I look at it as they didn't realize exactly how big I had gotten before the start (225) or that at 192, it's just not enough to clearly see what progress has been made so far? In their defense of not recognizing, I haven't bought any new clothes yet. (No Need) So, I wear the same clothes because my jeans have just went from being really tight to just fitting comfortably. I guess if the clothes you're normally seen in aren't bagging off, it can be hard to spot the difference. My husband assures me that he can see it, but I can't see it and my closest family isn't noticing and honestly that is what I'm looking for. When I started, I felt like getting anywhere under 200 pounds would be like Christmas, but lately I've plateaued, had a couple poor choices in my food intake (because of the plateau), and felt downright low. I've read other posts and seen that I am not the only one going through this. People lose 30,40, and sometimes 50 pounds before it gets recognized. (Ugh!) I guess it truly does have to do with the amount of weight you need to lose. The scale having a smaller number isn't enough for me. I don't feel any different. I guess I have unrealistic expectations. It took me wayyy longer than 15 weeks to pack on the pounds and hit the dreaded 225 mark, so I know it will take time to see the smaller, healthier, and happier new me. I just needed to get his written and out of my head. Thanks for reading! : )

PinkEarthMama

It took 20 pounds before people really started to notice. Size wise, though, it took dropping an entire size before people started to comment.

Keep it up!

yaseyuku

I've lost about 15lbs (and I'm very short so it makes a bigger difference than it would on someone tall) and nobody noticed at all.

I'm wondering that myself.

jadethief

When you are larger to begin with, you have to lose a lot before people began to notice. Also, it could be the clothes too. A co-worker lost 60 lbs but the only difference i could see was that her face was slimmer. She was still wearing the same clothes as before so they hid anything lost elsewhere.

Hang in there. I've lost 34 pounds and people are just now beginning to comment so I know what you're going through.

I_Will_End_You

Are you noticing a difference in yourself? Because that's what is the most important! Everyone else will notice with time, just keep doing what you're doing.

onwarddownward

No one is noticing on me, but I'm taking nitty gritty nudie photos of me ( ok, bra and bikini underwear) and I notice changes.

Maybe what your father in law meant was, how are you feeling while you're changing your life.

rosemaryhon

...Should I look at it as they didn't realize exactly how big I had gotten before the start...

I think this ^^ might be at root.

Nobody has noticed my weight loss either, really not even myself :ohwell: . I assumed by now it would be sorta obvious.

So I gave it some thought and considered maybe those that love me didn't really *look* at how fat I'd gotten. Maybe they were being kind by glancing past that best they could?

Keep up the good work ~ 34 lbs loss is great! :flowerforyou:

Sherbog

My husband joined MFP on January 18th. He said he was motivated by my success. He has lost 30 pounds and NO ONE has notice. He swore me to secrecy. It is difficult. Like your husband I so want to share how proud and happy I am that he is working a program and has a loss.

Stay on top of your journey.

Shirley

SusanDugas

It may simply be that those closest to you are not saying WOW, because that would be acknowledging that they also noticed how large you had become and they opt to not make mention of it out of love for you. Since they do not know you are trying and doing so on purpose, it would seem insensitive to make it known and display pride in your efforts if it turned out that you were 'not' trying.

suzbaru

It depends on the amount of weight you want/need to lose. If it's like 100lbs or something then it takes longer because you have more to lose than someone who only needs to lose 20lbs.

It's been mentioned before that for casual acquaintances it's 30-50lbs for them to notice. For people you see daily, aka family, coworkers, etc. It's 50+lbs because they see you daily and you still wear the same clothes, hair, attitude.

Someone mentioned fat around the organs and stuff, totally! The stubborn crap you want gone now will be the last to go, stomach, thighs, face.

My mom came to visit last night and I haven't seen her in 2 months, she barely noticed and it was more of a passing comment. She asked if I had a new shirt and why it looked so big.

It's the same shirt, just baggy now. I've gone from a size 20 to a 16 in pants and a 2x to L in shirts. Annoying as all get out but I don't care. I'm just concentrating on my half way goal right now. Eye on the prize!

257_Lag

I've lost 21 lbs from my peak and no one has noticed. I feel incredibly different but I just took a set of pictures yesterday and I have to admit to myself that even side by side, it's not that noticeable.

Also, most people are afraid to comment about weight loss. True story here. A few months ago I said to someone I have known for a long time but only see sporadically, "Wow, you have lost a lot of weight, you look great" and she said "Thanks, I just got back from Mexico where they performed an experimental procedure on my cancer" Oh boy.

Buff2022

Very few have noticed. It is really the ones who know I am losing that have said something. I am at 23 pounds but I CAN SEE IT!!!

My face is not so fat
My sides are smaller
My tummy is smaller

I fit in smaller pants and shirts. My panties are to big.

Just hang on it is coming.

mharris1224

Some times, the people in our day to day lives may not notice the little changes right away or even at all. However you and your husband are. The cloths are looser, the walk you took together was even easier than last time. I understand you want people to comment. I did too when I first started but I learned in the end I am doing this for me and the ones I love. Now I don't care who notices (Although it feels awesome when they do.)
So do not fret, you'll find the sweet spot, break the plateau, and begin to see even more pounds melt away. Do not depend on others for the validation on your hard work. Eventually they will notice, and you will chuckle on the inside.
BTW, awesome job!!!

oskybosky4

Thanks for posting this as I too am having trouble even noticing myself that I have lost 18lb. My clothes feel a little looser and I am still wearing the same clothes as I was at the start. The only person who has commented is my mother and thats only because I tell her each week how much I have lost. I have a lot to loose so the explanation that you loose the fat around the organs first kind of makes sense.
I have also started to exercise as well, but because I also have a chronic illness, psoriatic arthritis, I am a bit limited on what I can do but I have actually started to enjoy the exercises now, this is someone who just doesn't do sport or exercise at all, so that is a breakthrough.
I am just looking forward to getting going down a couple of sizes in clothes from a 22 to an 18 would be fantastic for me, surely people will notice then.
You have done so well to loose the weight you have in such a short time, don't get despondant and don't give up, it will all go back so quickly if you do then you will feel even worse.
When you feel ready get yourself some new underwear and get measured for the right size bra, a new stylish dress and hairstyle and people will sit up and take notice then.
Good luck and don't give up.

mandi108

Keep up the great work!!! I have just started my journey (again...... I keep falling off the wagon ) and even though none of your closest friends seem to notice your success, I just wanted to say that you, and everyone else on here that has stuck with it and lost big, are a true inspiration to those like me who tend to easily fall off the MFP wagon. Just hang in there, I'm sure they will notice. Or maybe they have noticed and they just don't want to jinx you by commenting on it. I wish you well and if you (or anyone else for that matter) would like to add me as a friend, please do! (It may help keep me from giving in to my junk food cravings! Lol)

dixiewhiskey

Awesome loss!

Anyone who is having trouble noticing, I recommend taking photos.. it really helped me notice.

No one in my immediate family has commented about how I've lost weight (15lbs and body fat) except for my husband.. I find even people here don't really notice much cause I didn't lose 100lbs or have that perfect six pack . Sometimes we just have to keep on keeping on with our successes whether they are small or large and whether anyone notices or not.

allshebe

. I told my husband that I didn't want him to tell anyone of my lifestyle change, so that if I were to receive compliments about shedding the pounds, I'd know that people just couldn't help but notice. He acted like it was the stupidest thing to keep it a secret and coudn't understand it was because all the times people had given me the sympathy words. At a birthday party one day, about 6 weeks into my change, my father-in-law says, "So.. how is the weight loss coming along!?" I looked at my husband with the crazy eyes for sure. He knew he messed up by telling. And honestly my feelings on the whole thing is if someone has to ASK how the weight loss is, clearly it hasn't been enough time to notice a change. My husband assures me that he is so proud of me for doing this that he just let it slip to his Dad on the phone. Needless to say I've moved on from trying to necessarily hide the fact of trying to drop weight and just do it. My family members that I have seen once every week for the 15 weeks so far have not said a thing! It hurts because I was sure by now, after 33 pounds lost, I'd hear some positive feedback. I don't know how to take it really. Should I look at it as they didn't realize exactly how big I had gotten before the start (225) or that at 192, it's just not enough to clearly see what progress has been made so far?

Is it possible that after that first "faux pas" that the word is out in your family that for some reason you're sensitive about this and don't want it mentioned (however erroneously they've interpreted your initial reaction to having your lifestyle change shared)? Maybe if you open the topic...(like if you are starting to need new clothes, consult with a female relative about choices)?

ALittlePixieDust

A few weeks ago - I wrote in my blog this very question. I had lost 26 pounds which is 25% of my weight loss goal. The only people who had "noticed" were those who knew I was working on weight loss. I wasn't feeling very proud of myself even though I knew that 26 pounds was a huge accomplishment. I felt it in my clothes but was still wearing the same clothes so not sure anyone else noticed.

Then I decided to try on an outift that I had bought a year ago hoping to fit into soon (I ronically - it was a work-out set). Instead I had gained more weight in the last year. But out came the outfit and it fit! I had my daughter take a picture and for the first time I posted a side by side on my Facebook page and basically announced to my FB friends I was on this roadtrip. I could really notice a difference between the photos and received a tons of compliments.

Yesterday - for the first time - someone I see time to time (and not on my FB or had knowledge I was doing this) said to me that I was really losing weight and looked great. As of today -I have lost 30 pounds and was thrilled someone finally noticed!

Hang in there - people will start to notice more and more. I started at 262 pounds so I know that it will take some time before people really see a huge difference but I know I will get there.

teddy1234567

I've lost about 15lbs (and I'm very short so it makes a bigger difference than it would on someone tall) and nobody noticed at all.

I'm wondering that myself.

I am 5"4 and have lost 15lbs and not one person, apart from other half has said anything. not that i want the attention it just i want to see it working.

Lormic98

Yea, people are funny. I've gone to work with my pants practically falling off, and not one person has said anything! Maybe people who see us everyday don't notice gradual changes, maybe they're afraid of offending, weight being such a touchy issue. I've been baffled myself, but this seems to be a common theme on this site, so it's prevalent.

Be very proud of yourself! You're losing the weight for yourself and your good health!

sss1966

I had to lose 70 lbs before people started to say. It's not that they don't notice I just don't think they like to mention it. I could not believe that people were not saying anything, but then all of a sudden it was like a landslide of compliments!

marsellient

I'd bet they really have noticed, just don't want to say anything for any number of reasons, many of which have already been suggested. I met a neighbour the other day and we were talking about health and keeping moving as we age. When I said that my doctor says with the amount of weight I've lost my cholesterol numbers should be better and it must be genetic, her face lit up and she immediately complimented me on my 40 lb loss. She noticed, just didn't want to say anything!
You are doing amazingly well, and eventually will have people saying that you look great. No weight loss mentioned.

Minnesnowtagurl

Honestly it trully does depend on how much you have to lose and wher eyou start at. Trust me I too began my journey at approx 227lbs. I rememeber reaching that 30lb mark and being upset like what the hell???? I don't remember getting the wow factor untill I was closer to that 40lb mark.

Also there is something about they way you beam when you feel it, and you know that you are beyond proud of yourself. It's that true inner happiness and growth of confidence that people see that makes them want to shower you with compliments. Just keep truckin along and right when you can careless if anyone notices but you, then they will begin.

Heres2Victory

Congradulations on your weight loss!! I think people will start noticing and engaging in healthy dialouge when you open up more about eating healthier. Same as here on MFP, they will support you. I think your father-in-law had all good intent and it was his way of getting you to open up. Enjoy your weightloss , share your new healthier lifestyle.
I wish you many more happy days of seeing your scale go down and spirits rise.

rheelizabeth

I've almost lost 30lbs and dropped over a dress size (but now quite 2 yet!) but it's not very noticeable yet. I imagine with the next 30lbs (when I'll go from overweight to ideal weight) will be most noticeable! (least I hope so!)

bfpower

Sometimes people are afraid to say anything because they're afraid of retaliation. I do have a few friends who would not respond well - they would think I was calling them fat because I said anything.

They probably ARE noticing but aren't saying anything. Talk with them honestly about it.

fitfreakymom

what do you do for working out? do you lift weights or do pilates, anything to firm up your body?

SKMC0214

I can feel your pain, I have lost 52 lbs and almost 100 inches. I had my first person notice this week and it was incredible. I can see the difference and my family sees the difference but I also wanted someone who did not know notice. Just keep on the right course. Food for thought, Even though I have lost 52, I still am very, very heavy and have a long way to go 150 more lbs, so in retrospect, 50 isn't much. However, someone who only has 70 lbs to lose the 50 would be considered an incredible loss. Keep your head up, you are doing GREAT!! You have to look at it as, I am not where I want to be but I am not where I was before.

teddy1234567

wow thats amazing!! keep up the good work

xampx

Im 53lbs down and no one noticed until 40+lbs. Including me!

canlow

I have just started using weights and they are only the 3 pounds weights. I bought an exercise ball, the 3 pound weights, and a stretch band for arm exercises. My whole journey so far has not been filled with exercise. I have walked and danced around in my bedroom like a fool to work up a sweat, but I most definitely would not say that I busted my butt exercising to lose the weight. It's been small amounts of exercise and mainly just watching that I do not go over 1200 calories per day. I am going to get into Zumba when I reach one of my goal weights and I want to eventually join a gym. I just want to prove to myself that I can continue sticking with this and lose weight at home first. I know that exercise is very important and not just to lose pesky pounds, but also for just plain health. I'm getting in gear- trust me. I know to get the body that I want-simply cutting calories and eating healthier alone will not do.