Sabotaged myself!

brittbonshor

SO I started MFP maybe a year and a half or two years ago?? not really sure. anyway I went from 185 ish lbs, down to 150 in about a year... so lost 35lbs... and looked better but not great... i'm 5'7. still had bellyflab (the ugly sideways 3 under my belly button) and excess fat everywhere... ) but felt like i'd accomplished a lot cause i got a huge amount of comments from people who had seen me before/after... so i started letting myself go again.. and i stopped logging calories on days where i ate something i didn't wanna log cause it was so bad... and then the days i didn't log became more than the days i did... and i logged my yesterdays calories today and it was probably around 5,000 calories!!!! what the hell am i doing to myself!!! so today I am getting back on the health horse. I am going to log on to mfp every day. feel free to add me as a friend. my diary is public. i'm logging everything whether i'm ashamed of it or not. i'm riding horses more often and working out and stopping eating **** and sabotaging myself. i deserve better than what i've been giving myself. i've been using food as a coping mechanism and that needs to stop. no more food as treats. i'm not a dog. i'm an over weight person. get on the treadmill, lol. ok thanks for listening.