Friends and the "completed diary"

SimonLondon

I don't know if I'm the only one but I can't bring myself to congratulate someone who has their diary secret? I'm always worried that I might be saying well done to someone who only ate 300 calories and my congrats may encourage it.

My friends list is growing fast and I post a lot of messages to my friends. I just don't want people to be offended I haven't congratulated them because I have no idea if the congrats is the right or wrong thing to do :ohwell:

ZebraHead

That's understandable. I am one who chooses to keep my diary private, not because I undereat. But I don't care to have my friends make any assumptions about me based on my food diary. I will take care of me and they should choose to do the same.

Edit: I wanted to add that I don't broadcast many of my daily milestones (i.e. completed diary, exercise, wiegh-ins) this is not because I am 'hiding' anything but because I am the type of person that does not base my well being on the 'that-a-boy' encouragement of others. Please don't take that the wrong way, I care deeply about each of you on this board and wish you well, but you don't need to 'stroke' me to help me get the job done. I am already commited to this journey and can see the path clearly in front of me.

skygoddess86

Yeah I know what you mean. Why does every one make a big deal about coming in under the goal....actually why does mfp even post that?

questionablemethods

That's very sweet of you. I'm certainly not offended if I don't get praise for every little thing I do on this site. In fact, I think I changed my settings to stop posting when I completed my diary because I typically press the "complete" button more than once in an evening depending upon how late I stay up (and thus, how hungry I become) and I didn't want to drive those seeing my updates totally nuts.

In any case, I understand your not wanting to praise someone who might be under eating so I think your method is valid.

Clew

I'm with you, Simon! I will often congratulate people, but I do it to encourage their efforts to be more healthy. After all, that's why folks participate in a website like this, I suppose (though I would think it wouldn't be EXPECTED!). Your point is valid though. I'd imagine most wouldn't be offended either way.

Glad you're a friend of mine - you always inspire by just sharing you :flowerforyou:

jillybeanruns

I do the same. I used to congratulate people, but then upon further reading noticed that some of them were going WAY under their net calories and so I just opted to save myself some time and stop investigating/congratulating.

And to not be annoying, I've shut off my diary completion and cardio notifications. I wish I could shut them off from my friends because I really could care less most of the time

smuehlbauer

If you don't comment I'm gonna have hurt feelings and I will never speak to you again....
People will be falling off my friends list if this is the case. Ha!
I have a hard enough time to find time for everything, work, exercise, social life, logging on FB, loggin here, that I don't have the time to comment on everyones status update, or completion of their food diary. I try to for big goals, tons of calories burned, but just for finishing a food journal for the day, don't always have time.
I really hope that people wouldn't get mad at that!
Have a great day! :flowerforyou:

leavinglasvegas

I don't get that anyway. My diary is private because I don't see why it needs to be public. I like the support here, but I don't feel like I need randome people critiquing how I eat unless I ask. I've seen people be just downright rude. (Which is why I made mine private in the first place.) I don't get all the congrats anyway. With all the tossing around of the "starvation mode" on the boards, critism of peole who have a hard time reaching their goals, and stressing about eating exercise calories; I don't get why people aim to be under their calorie goal, lol. Let alone congratulate them for being under. It doesn't make sense to me. Seems contradictory.:ohwell:

I hope no one is offended that I don't do it either. I hate seeing those posts that say great job when I am under. Sometimes I'm way under! Don't encourage me to starve myself!

IbettR

I would not feel offended at all :indifferent: However, I do appreciate you congratulating me today :blushing: I'm trying really hard and appreciate all the motivation I can get. But you're right, some may not be doing it correctly :ohwell: I'm trying my best to eat every 3-4 hours, eat dinner early, eat healthier, do exercise, drink lots of water :bigsmile: Just trying my best :bigsmile: But don't feel guilty for being reserved :noway: , and no one should be here just to rely on compliments and nice words :flowerforyou: .

Thanks for being an amazing inspiration. I hope you're my friend, down the road from now, and I can tell you I've achieved my goal :flowerforyou: Kudos to you! :bigsmile:

louloup

I dont congratulate on any food diary issues only sometimes with exercise.

I do have my diary open to friends and I like to look a t other peoples just to find new foods to try and if they are losing weight then I want to know how.

( and I am a little bit nosey ) :blushing:

jackpotclown

lol I leave mine public because I feel I have nothing to hide....I am where I am as a result of my eating habits and the exercise that goes along with it, but have a bad habit of entering mine the next day, so most times people won't see that I've completed my diary....which is both a good and bad thing....and the reality is I'd rather get encouragement from the exercise I do moreso than how much food I ate to begin with....I'm here to work!!!

XFitMojoMom

Yeah, I was just "congratulated" for being under my calorie goal and I'm absolutely irritated by it!:grumble: I'm going to turn off that notification.

TruSunshine

I agree with Louloup. (especially the nosey part ) It's very helpful for me when trying to find new food ideas.

unknownndoll

mine is private and i don’t care for anyone to tell me how to eat or that I am not eating enough, or not eating my exercise calories etc. unless i ask for advise i don’t want it. i hate when people push what they are doing on to others, and if you are doing something different they have something to say about it. plus i feel like this is for me and my tracking, no one else. that could be why some people omit things from there diary anyways is to "look better" to others, but then you are only lying to yourself anyway.

JStarnes

Agree with OP.

HealthyChanges2010

When I make a positive gesture toward someone's food logging for the day. I'm directing my comment toward building up the habit of logging, not what's being logged, as I don't look up ppl's foods/diaries.

Someppl have logged forever and it's second nature to them. Others it a struggle, others are brand new and could use all the support they can get by any means.

So if you see me cheer you on in regards to your diary I typically say something like, 'way to build a habit' or something along those lines.

Just something I do.

I agree with some of the other posters above, I don't have many of my stats showing, no workout stats, no logging stats, etc. I figure everyone has so much newsfeed pouring through they already struggle to keep up, they surely don't need more from me. Now that's NOT to say I don't want to see how others are doing, I definitely do & enjoy that and am inspired by it. But it's simply my way of doing it.

I have a terrific group of peeps and wouldn't trade any for the world, a small tight group. I keep it small so I know how everyone is doing and can get to know them more intimately. Far easier than on a messageboard.

Becca:flowerforyou:

jerren

Or they could be like me and come under the calorie goal but I often eat bad stuff still I don't think I deserve an atta boy a lot of the time.

mrsyatesy

Interesting post - I personally usually come in about 1 calorie spare of my calorie target, including eating all my exercise cals - but that's fine, it's for me to care about - I didn't know I could turn that notification off, so I might now :happy:
I dont look at other people's diaries because I am trying to get on with a "normal" life for me and my family and build my own new healthy habits around trying out new combinations of food (my new food tried this week is barrel aged feta cheese - OMG!!), but sometimes I do wonder what others eat, but if I want to know, I'll ask :ohwell:
I was a little concerned to read some stuff on here about serious under eating, but that's not my bag so I'll leave well alone.

mrsyatesy

OK I give up - where can I turn the notification thing off for completing my diary daily??? (Bit embarrassed as I work in IT!!).

weaklink109

To change your news feed settings:

My Home>settings>Automatic News Feed update settings: change as you wish. Unchecking means that feature is turned off.

I personally find the whole news feed thing to be a bit annoying. Friend or not, I really don't CARE if you completed your diary or did an hour of cardio. Don't get me wrong. I want to see people do well, but we are all adults and we know what we need to do, so I don't need an attaboy for logging my food.

I have all the newfeed notifications turned off, and I almost never even go to the newsfeed page. I have my email set to notify me of comments by anyone, so if I need to see anything I can, but since I have all my notifications turned off, there isn't usually anything on there that I need to see.

I guess the feed thing is popular because it makes the site more like the ubiquitous social networking sites that so many are using. I am not on any of them either, despite repeated invitations, because if I want someone to know something, I will pick up the phone and CALL them!!!:noway: I only use texting on my cell phone as a convenience for people who might not be able to have a conversation, due to work or other demands. I guess I am showing my age!!:laugh:

For those who use and like the news feed and want to comment, I say, "have at it and enjoy yourselves. Just don't hold your breath looking for me!!":flowerforyou:

mrsyatesy

To change your news feed settings:

My Home>settings>Automatic News Feed update settings: change as you wish. Unchecking means that feature is turned off.

Thanks Weaklink - all sorted! :bigsmile:

jerren

Some people are pack driven. They are motivated by positive reinforcement and kind words. Some people don't need this type of motivation. I respect both types equally.

IsMollyReallyHungry

The reason I made my food diary private is I saw people asking and making comments on what people should and should not eat. I did not want anyone policing me that I am good or bad based on my food intake.

It is OK if ones are looking for ideas, but since you can't guage everyones purposes for viewing food diary's, I opt to leave my priviate. I have a real issue with some policing what I eat.

As far as I my compliments to one's completing their diary, I am complimenting them on jouranling, not on what they ate for the day. Thanks to who listed hwo to change it. I always wondered. Most days I do not have time to veiw everyone's diary. On weekend's I usually peek at a few, but again it is to get ideas for myself, not to tell others what they should eat or how many calories.

When I need help I will ask for it. Journaling is keep to our success and it is inspiring and motivational for those of us who appreciate a pat on the back. It helps some of us to do better.. I know it helps me. When I have time I comment and it does not take too much time to cheer others on to the goals. Some do have a hard time journaling. I used to journal my food in a book, now I enjoy doing it on line. It does help to see others striving for similar goals.

I hope no one is taking offense if one do or do not post compliments. Everyone is different. Positive thinking is so much better than negative. I choose to think positive about most things since thinking positive takes much less engery than negative thoughts. Good luck to everyone!! And thanks to those who support me and my efforts to reach my goals.