Embarrassed

Runninglibrarian13

If this is someone you know, just look them straight in the eyes and say "Why would you say that to me?" And if they don't answer, keep at them, "Excuse me, I'm just trying to understand why you think that's acceptable. Don't ignore it, because if you ignore it they will keep at you until they get an emotional response. Unfortunately, bullies won't often stop until they are confronted.

Also - if you are concerned about them complaining to the management, before you confront them go and get a staff member to serve as a witness.

As others have said, if this is actually happening at work you should report it.

I totally love this ^^ "Why would you say that to me?" it bounces their rudeness right back at them without being rude itself.
In fact, if it were me, I'd probably preface it with "How totally rude? Why would you say that to me?" or
"That is incredibly rude! How on earth could you think its acceptable to say something like that?" again, calls them out without being nasty.

MizAngie

there was someone at the beginning of the replies that said don't let them have the power. Say it out loud...a few times.
And then say YOU have the power. repeat. remind.

We have a split in our office of good healthy people and then not so healthy people. We push for being positive.

kellijauch

Wear some headphones and enjoy some feel-good, heart pumping music while you train. This way you can tune them out and it may help you to get and stay in the zone without having to listen to their nonsense.

^ this for sure!!! My headphones are my saving grace.

sucg

When i started this journey i was 290 Lb. People were really mean at times but i knew what i was doing and how much i wanted it. I'm now at 170.
I too cried at times but you know what. I'm changing and feeling great, they are still mean and have to pick on others now.
Some people have to do that to make themselves look big. We know what A-holes they are though dont we. Hold your head high, your amazing and it will be worth it. Su x

what_lola_wants

Jusr re-read this.

If the people at your gym are mean, change gyms. Easy solution. Don't pay someplace to make you feel bad. Go somewhere else.

Also - they are jerks, just tell yourself that while they may be slim, they are crappy people, and no one likes them anyways. It's what's inside that matters most.

Now, if people are harassing you about your weight or what you are eating while you are at work, go to HR and file a complaint. That's illegal. That is discrimination and harrassment. That is hostile work environment. I guarantee once you go to HR, all that will stop. And don't feel bad about it, because that kind of behavior from a coworker is unacceptable, and they need to learn that one way or the other.

Truly agree. I feel you girl. I am consider so big size in Asia due to my big bone structure and meaty body. Each time when I am at the counter the worker would point at my tummy saying and laughing that.. Ohhh look at you tummy, you have gained weight... Wtf, I did not! and sometimes during my period, I cant do anything to my bloating tummy...

Just ignore them, I usually just smile back..and if possible change gym. That's what I am going to do. I am switching to another in September and I cant wait for that! Feel free to add me as friend Keep going : )

rosiereally2

Are you sure you aren't just reading into things? I can't imagaine that people at your gym are actually ganging up on you and bullying you.

faceoff4

I hate to hear this happens. I don't get it or why people would be so mean. Clearly the person making comments, etc has their own issues and likely unhappy people.

Look the bottom line is you are trying to be healthy and nothing should stop you from doing do and charging after your goals. Just ignore them, know that you are a beautiful person and just keep at it. The only person you need to make happy is yourself and you are the only person you need to answer too. So hopefully ignoring them will help it, and just keep at it as you are doing great! Good luck!

jzammetti

I would tell everyone to F*** off .......I feel very fortunate that I only get support from everyone at my gym and workplace..people suck

AMEN!

leanne9876

omg what's happening at your gym what are they saying to you ?

JMOstrem

It's much harder to eat half a donut and then still work out after work. With coworkers who are a-holes too. So keep your head up, and if you want them to feel like crap, stand up for yourself and ask them what their problem is. Put the pressure on them to explain why they must belittle others, does it make them feel good about themselves? It will make them shut the hell up and perhaps leave you alone. You'll be out of there at some point, right?

I have found that being heavy and working out in public is scary as hell. There will be people who smirk because they are jerks, same kind of losers who sport "No fat chicks" bumper stickers. They are advertising their insecurities. But on the whole people who see someone who needs to make healthy choices do so consistently will be impressed to see you work hard especially if you're just doing your thing and not causing drama.

Choose to be strong, find a work out buddy, surround yourself with positive people if you can. Sounds like you're in high school with a bunch of 16 year old insecure idiots. Don't let them see it hurt you, turn it on them, psych them out w/that master's degree you're working on!

kpierce7188

First and foremost I think it is unbelievable that you are going back and rubbing it in their face. You are doing this to please you, not them. It's an uphill battle most days but the rewards are life long.

iquiltoo

I have been fortunate with the gym I go to, and I think part of the reason is that it is a city facility. EVERYONE goes to that gym it seems! Honestly, there are people from 16 years (the youngest you can go unaccompanied by an adult) to 80 years old, and from skinny minny to, well... me! I think even the young'uns, who can be the worst, are just used to seeing all kinds there and maybe they have learned that hey, everyone's there to get in shape. I get more smiling greetings. At first I would think of all these replies I could make if someone was unkind, and I have never had to use one of them! Anyway, my point is, if you're going to a gym where everyone's skinny and they are mean about it, try a city facility if you have one. You're more likely to meet nice people there who understand you're just trying to get fit. Probably the majority of the folks I see at the gym ARE slim and in shape - now! - and I'm gonna be one of them one day, and I'm smiling at everyone who's trying! And I think this (below) is the best answer -

If this is someone you know, just look them straight in the eyes and say "Why would you say that to me?" And if they don't answer, keep at them, "Excuse me, I'm just trying to understand why you think that's acceptable."

capriqueen

It's real easy for people to make comments at "how fat someone is" or "how unfit someone is". In reality, they're flawed creatures too, because otherwise, they would try to help.

I know how you feel because I've been the fat girl too. In school, in college, I got called names and stuff. But I guess you're only hurt if you let it get to you, and if you care at all to listen to them. If you don't, they don't exist. You've got a goal before you, reach it. For you that's all that matters.

Good luck!

gwhizeh

Best thing you can do is what your doing. Keep Going. Change will not happen if you quit. You can't let anyone be the deciding factor in your push for loss. Only you. The sooner you realize its for you and don't matter what anyone says or thinks, the better off you will be. Just remember what you are doing is a good thing! Anyone that views it poorly should get the fu@k out of your way!

Plenty of support on here!

jackiecamarena

That is so unbelievably sh*tty. *kitten* every last person that makes fun of you. That is seriously not cool.

LittleMsEva

I want to *****-slap everyone who hurt you. You are better than this, you deserve better, what kind of illiterate, rude, vile, unethical, and pathetic individuals are they? Oh God, i just want to hug you and backhand them -.-

Peanutbutterx

well im really happy for you that your going to the gym and working out, thats really great. you are being healthy by doing that, im so sorry that you got stuck with a group of mean people. there are good and bad people in the world, sometimes certain places just have a lot of the bad ones and sounds like this is one of them. dont worry about what anyone else thinks about you, you are doing this for you - to make you feel good. dont let someone else make you feel bad while you are doing something good. i like the idea of listening to music and just ignoring them but if you feel really uncomfortable there then you should just change gyms. look some up online, theres a lot of them around and the next one you go to you might end up liking it a lot. also, your an adult, your not a kid, if you want to eat half a donut thats no ones f*cking business but yours and no one has the right to say anything to you about it. if that happens again you should really say something back thats embarassing to them.. sometimes you just have to put people in there place especially at work if you see them every day. let them know that your not going to take their *kitten*. you go to work to work, you go to the gym to exercise. not to be told what to do. live your life and be happy and dont worry what a bunch of losers say. your not caring what they do because your happy with yourself, people that say bad things to/about other people aren't happy people so its really their problem and not yours. keep your head up and just go on being content and feel bad for them that there that miserable that they have to try to bring other people down to make themselves feel better. your doing great, and they suck. dont let it get to you, keep doing what your doing and skrew those idiots : )

bunbunzee44

you could try turning that hate to your advantage and use it as your energy. show how dedicated and hardworking you are! you wont be fat forever if you keep working out, just imagine their faces then! or when you outrun some *kitten* on a threadmill :P

Pamko57

Misery loves company. Just stick to what you are doing and ignore them, in time when you are all awesome looking they will be the ones embarrassed.

Miserable people will always try to put you down. I seem to attract that kind of person. I have a "friend" who is very heavy. I think she enjoyed my being heavy along with her, but she's said some snide things as I've lost weight. Her mother said not to get rid of my fat clothes, because I'll need them going back up. But, hey. It sucks to be them. Seriously.

Mean people will always be mean. It's hard not to let words hurt, because they do. But I also agree that it's a good idea to get to the place where you let it roll off.

I was told last night by a guy I've known for years that he is shocked to learn I have a degree and a teaching certificate. He said I just didn't seem smart enough. My husband said the guy was showing his ignorance. And that's what those people are doing. You can lose weight, but they'll always be mean and stupid.

Cocozest

I commend you for being courageous and trying to make a good change for yourself by exercising. The hardest thing is removing yourself from your safe zone and pushing yourself in public. It can make anyone feel vulnerable, but as time goes by, that vulnerability grows into strength. Continue working out and remember, you're doing this for YOU and not the people at the gym.

I know it's hard and frightful being in a rural gym with people you know. If you need to cry, let your sweat be your tears. A cousin told me something along the lines like, "Sweat is my body crying". Sometimes the approach of yelling or snarking back at the bad remarks feel good, but you can also defeat it by concentrating on you.

Continue working hard, living and enjoying life. Don't let poisonous people stop you from your goal.

Antlady69

I wouldn't give anyone that power to ruin my day. People will always try, you just have to remind yourself that they have nothing to do with you. They don't pay your bills, why are you worried about what they say? Who are they to you? Be happy with who you are, and if you want to make a difference, you gotta put the work in. If you're content, then be happy. Never give anyone that power to dictate your feelings, your emotional state. Live stress free baby!

This ^^. Is everyone at work and at the gym rude to you, or are there a few nice folks? If there are, then stick with those and exclude the rude ones from your jokes, from your lunchtime, from anything personal. Only talk to them when it's business-related. And make sure they see how much fun you're having with the nice folk, but make sure they feel excluded. After all, they are trying to exclude you too (in a way). So why should or would you want to include them in your life?

As for eating something "unhealthy": if someone picks you up on that, just say "yeah, I'll enjoy this one but I'll run it off later. No problem". And then turn around and let them stand in their ignorance.

Don't make yourself dependent on what others think or say. They don't like you? Hey, so be it. Nobody says you have to try to like them too and be friends with them!

Mummy2Corey

You are gorgeous! Don't you dare let anyone else make you think you're not! They sound like a bunch of a-holes and if it were me I would have told them to get f***ed! You're doing a fantastic job & don't let a load of insecure stupid people stop you from achieving your goals. Picking on you is so petty & juvenile & makes them feel good so they don't have to face up to how empty & pathetic their lives are.

Do not be embarrassed for trying to make a positive change, you can do this - ignore those t***ers! Xx

smwooley

They're a bunch of bullies, plain and simple. Can you put headphones on and crank the music? I know how hateful people can be. If it really is impacting your mental healthy, I'd find somewhere else to workout. Seriously. You're doing this for you and while it's easy to say don't let them effect you, that's easier said than done. Best of luck to you.

kamakazeekim

Thanks for the support everyone!

They make comments when I participate in circuit training like "oh, we're going to have to modify this for you" and they all smirk at that. There are girls that giggle at me when I use the treadmill. One guy in particular makes me feel like crap...he's always (very rudely) telling me what I'm doing wrong and how i just have to run more or how I must just eat a TON. Even the trainer makes comments when I weigh in and the scale NEVER moves unless its going up...he thinks I obviously must be cheating on my diet (I'm not) It's stuff like that ALL the damn time.

cherryd69

^ this is the kind of reason i avoid gym's/weightwatchers and crap like that.

Im already judging myself enough without someone throwing their two-pence in.

Hence why iv got what i need at home, scales/cross trainer/gym ball/dumb bells and a workout dvd.... only things passing judgement is my dogs an my kids.

brook97378

I don't go to a gym, but I have been ridiculed before when I am out on walks. Or once even when I was walking from my car to my front door after I got home. It amazes me how immature adults can be. It used to hurt my feelings, but now if I hear a hateful comment, I just think about how miserable that person must be in order for them to have to go around ridiculing others. Sometimes I think they are just trying to put others down so that they feel better about themselves, and they must lead pretty miserable lives, and were never taught respect or manners. Just let it roll off, their opinions don't matter. Be confident in yourself.