Feeling comfortable at the gym

tcj83704
tcj83704 Posts: 8
in Fitness and Exercise
Hi everyone! I'm fairly new here...I started with 99 lbs to lose and I've lost about 7 so far since may 1. Decided its time to start working out to help wih the weight loss, so I joined a gym with my husband. I really enjoy working out and the gym and people seem nice. I just realized tonight how completely out of place I feel there! I feel EXTREMELY fat and ugly and horrible with all the thinner people wearing their little size 4 workout gear. But I'm in a catch 22 because if I don't go, I won't ever get there. I just feel really out of place :(

I like working out and i know my body will eventually change but its so hard right now. I feel rediculous doing the exercizes because of how overweight i am. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me get over this part? It would be greatly appreciated!

Replies

  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
    No one cares. Seriously. No one cares. No one goes to the gym to people watch and judge people. Everyone is there to workout.
  • violettatx
    violettatx Posts: 230 Member
    No one cares. Seriously. No one cares. No one goes to the gym to people watch and judge people. Everyone is there to workout.

    This. Don't worry about it and just concentrate on your workout. You are doing it for yourself, and no one else.

    Also, OP, I'll bet not everyone at your gym isn't a size 4. At my gym there are people of all sizes...and guess what? No one cares.
  • ahappydancer
    ahappydancer Posts: 34 Member
    ^agreed. Most really don't care what anyone else looks like or does unless they do something to interfere with their workouts. I gave the hairy eyeball to a fit person who hogged a treadmill. I'm there to burn calories/play in the pool, not get all judgy-judgy on someone bigger than me.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,159 Member
    I was the same way. I have a lot to lose, I'm not athletic etc. My gym is in my subdivision so it's small, but there are still people in there doing some serious workouts. I started with a personal trainer and one day found myself doing bear crawls across the gym in front of a 15 year old boy there with his Mother, checking out the place. They're bad enough to do with just the trainer. But after the first few feet, I stopped caring. I'm there for me. I don't think he even looked my way. Today he started showing me weights on the squat rack, a few other people were there. One thin, ex military lady asked me if I liked it, smiling. I've also started the C25K running program. I'm obese, I don't run, too many parts move. I've been doing little bursts of slow jogs outside around the lake where no one can see me. Today was my third run on the treadmill, in front of the trainer and the other people there. No one looked or laughed.

    So, the more you do it, the more you'll realize that no one but you cares. Everyone's doing his/her own thing. So should you. Good luck.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    No one cares. Unless you are taking up my work out space and not working out -- then I care.

    I also get a little judgy about people who show up and hang around for hours on the cardio machines without breaking a sweat, but that's my problem and I keep it to myself.

    When you see me at the gym, you see a normal weight woman with defined muscles and in good shape doing all kinds of free weight stuff and HIIT for 90 minutes on a regular basis.

    I started at 282 pounds and could barely eke out 15 minutes at the slowest, lowest setting on the elliptical.

    When I see you working out, provided you are WORKING and sweating and breathing hard, I see me 110 pounds ago and think, "Stick with it! You can do it! If only you knew where you could be in a year or two if you work hard!"
  • vance316
    vance316 Posts: 6 Member
    I have felt like this at times as well. A couple of things to keep in mind. First, like the others have said, no one cares. Second, you are there to improve yourself, anyone who can't see and respect that doesn't deserve your time or attention.

    I wish you the best and hope you keep working to reach your goals.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    I might take you a week or two, but you will be just fine. Everybody is there to improve themselves. Just do you, and find something that you enjoy as a workout routine and everything will fall into place.

    No worries :)
  • GEW666
    GEW666 Posts: 8
    **** PEOPLE! NO NO NO! You clearly do not understand, **** PEOPLE.

    **** you.
  • tcj83704
    tcj83704 Posts: 8
    Thanks! I really appreciate everyone's advice. I'm sure I am thinking more of it than anyone else. Tomorrow ill just turn my music up a little louder and work out in my own little world :)
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
    I felt the same way too, I start off as a (NZ) 16+, 6 weeks ago, I am now (NZ) 14. and not the biggest in the gym any more, I have now started doing some of my weight over in the "weight area where all the strong guys workout"

    when I see big girls at the gym I think good them

    keep doing what you are doing, this is your JOURNEY and think you are doing really well. good on you for taking the steps to a healthy lifestyle. keep it up


    anyone can add me
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
    Thanks! I really appreciate everyone's advice. I'm sure I am thinking more of it than anyone else. Tomorrow ill just turn my music up a little louder and work out in my own little world :)


    thanks the way!

    good on you
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    I agree with everyone else - the people in the gym are focused on themselves and do not care how you look...just remember that you deserve to be fit and keep telling youself that through your loud earphones. :wink:
  • luckydays27
    luckydays27 Posts: 552 Member
    There are only two times that people at the gym care about what you are doing is:

    1) when you are sitting on a machine (not using it) and someone else wants to uses it

    OR

    2) when you blow a stinky fart while doing cardio and the person next to you has to deal with it because they have 10 minutes more to go before their workout is done.

    Dont do either of these things and you will as inconspicuous as everyone else in the gym.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
    the thin people might have not always been thin, and even if they were who cares. you go there for yourself. most people focus on themselves there.
  • iecreamheadaches
    iecreamheadaches Posts: 441 Member
    i was nervous my first night going, but i realized that night that not one single person accept the people i go with, pay me any mind at all. Everyone is just doing their thing.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    No one goes to the gym to people watch.

    Confession: I people watch at the gym. All. The. Time. But mostly, I'm doing it to try to see new and/or different things I'm not currently doing.
  • Darius66
    Darius66 Posts: 62 Member
    I'm a big guy myself but when I am at the gym and I see someone larger then me working out I swear my first thought is..."good job"

    So many people my former self included just do nothing and gain gain gain. I respect anyone at the gym regardless of how large or small they are.

    Ignore people and bust your butt in your own world. One day you will be one of those smaller people and you will be just as proud of the larger people working out.
  • gutsnglory9
    gutsnglory9 Posts: 16
    First of all, the above posters are right. No one cares, as long as you follow good etiquette. And if you have any questions about good gym etiquette, there are many, many people on MFP who will tell you their opinions.

    I work out at an apartment gym, which is a big awkward, because you bump into the same people over and over again in the halls and stuff. People actually notice when you've been working out regularly or not. There's a few guys who have been working out for years, and are clearly really serious about it. At first I totally felt self conscious. I was lifting like 75 pounds, and he was lifting 280. At the end of my workout, I smiled and said "have a good workout," and he, very genuinely commented on how hard I worked. The other guys has offered me some really good pointers on getting the most out of the machines. It's a good reminder that it's all relative, you're only comparing yourself to yourself, and everyone remembers they started somewhere too.

    And to echo what others have said... when I see someone overweight working out, I think way to go! And depending on how much, it's not easy to carry around extra weight, never mind move with it. In my opinion, it's better to be bigger, but strong, fit and healthy, than skinny fat and a size 4.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    Seems counter-intuitive but pick some silly over the top exercises to add to your routine. People will stare because they've never seen them before but you'll be ready for it.

    See this page for ideas

    http://www.stumptuous.com/cheap-tricks-for-crip-fitness

    Really, you are there for YOU so do what you need to do to get to where you want to be. Most people won't give you a second glance, some will but that's just life so learn to ignore them
  • kingscrown
    kingscrown Posts: 615 Member
    Like a previous poster said, "Seriously, nobody cares." See if your gym gives free trainer sessions. Mine gave 3 1/2 hour sessions for joining. The trainer really helped me realized what I needed to do. That helped me feel more comfortable. The reason I was so heavy was I didn't exercise. I didn't know how to exercise. I didn't know what I really should do at the gym. I didn't know how hard to push myself. I didn't know how little to push myself. Everything I did made me feel like I'd have a heart attack and die. Honestly, I seldom even sweat in the beginning. I just thought I wasn't a sweater. Well you know what I mean. I just couldn't move enough to bring on a sweat. Now I'm a sweaty, strong, healthy mess when I leave the gym. If there are no training sessions and you can't afford to buy one see if there are classes. A boot camp like class is similar to personal training. Plus you'll have an instructor who will show you how to modify until you get stronger and in better shape. I've been doing this for 1 1/2 years and I'm only in the middle of the pack at class. BUT I'm no longer in the back of the room and the most unhealthy person there.
  • smwooley
    smwooley Posts: 133 Member
    I workout at the local Y, where there are shapes and sizes of all kinds. Big, bulky men to drastically overweight women. First, I agree with everyone who says who cares? You're there for you. Second, anytime I see a drastically overweight woman or man, I think - good for them! They are taking care of their healthy and I want to cheer them on. And I also agree....if all else fails, turn the music up louder :-)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    work out harder.


    if you have time and breath and thought to care what other people think- you seriously aren't working hard enough. I do some of the most obscene things every... and I really just do not care- jumping turning rolling- legs in the air kicking flipping- whatever.

    don't care.

    Guess what. A. people don't fracking bother me.
    B. people don't want to work out with me- because I scare them

    it's win win. I also don't care what others think- I come int- I slay my workout and I move on. easy peasy lemon squeezy.

    plus you're heads above others... you're THERE trying.

    Remember- some of those people you are intemmeidated by? they used to be size 24... and then 14... then 4- okay- maybe not so extreme- but not everyone whose tiny started there. That's why people are there- self improvement. just go with it!
  • carakit
    carakit Posts: 126 Member
    I'm a big guy myself but when I am at the gym and I see someone larger then me working out I swear my first thought is..."good job"

    So many people my former self included just do nothing and gain gain gain. I respect anyone at the gym regardless of how large or small they are.

    Ignore people and bust your butt in your own world. One day you will be one of those smaller people and you will be just as proud of the larger people working out.

    I couldnt agree more! You just do what you need to do to make you the best you can be!
  • Wentra
    Wentra Posts: 14 Member
    Hi,

    I know how you feel. I work out at my former college because the facilities are free for alumni members. So, I am surrounded by thin and young people. Occasionally a professor or another alumni member comes in. I have noticed that most people don't pay attention to me though. So, I just tune out everyone and focus on my routine and goals. You can't let self-consciousnesses get in your way. You are doing this for you and how you feel inside. What is going on around you on the outside does not matter.
  • ThePinkPenguin
    ThePinkPenguin Posts: 138
    I had this issue too at first, especially in my Zumba classes where I felt like I was the only girl who was a little bigger and it seemed like everyone else was so fit and thin! But recently, some girls of different shapes, and even a bigger guy, have been coming to class regularly and I feel more comfortable. There's plus sized women, older ladies who have to modify, thinner girls and our token guy and I'm starting to loosen up and relax. My instructor is really positive and non-judgmental, so she only cares if everyone is having fun and is doing the moves to their ability.

    I don't really have this problem in the cardio/weight area. Sometimes I feel a little weird in the strength training room when I'm the only girl, but since it's barely that crowded when I go to the gym and there may be only 1-2 other people there with me, it's not a big deal. I learned after a while that no one is looking/caring, so it's definitely helped me out.

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