My gym buddies suck! [rant]

Uselessly_Irrelevant

A good friend of mine, my roommate, and I decided for various reasons we want to get into shape - I think I'm the only one taking this seriously though.

My roommate is being a complete flake - he has not once gone to the gym with me and I ask him about 4 times a week. He agreed last night to go this morning, but he's is dead asleep still. I did manage to get him to go swimming with me yesterday though, but I think his motivation was to get a tan.

My other friend lives about a mile from me. We are both similar starting weight, same general level of fitness and when she does go she is pretty good motivation for me to do what I'm supposed to. We had agreed to go 5-6 times a week. She has cancelled 4 times this week, 3 times last week and so on. She always has reasons like sore hips, nausea, shark-week, whatever. I understand not wanting to do things when you feel crappy, but that's exactly when you should do them! I feel like the only valid excuses are fluids projecting out of your body, broken bones or genuine crisis.

On the bright side, my friends inconsistency has helped my resolve. I am forced to go by myself and be my own motivation. I even find that I push myself a little harder when they are not around as an extra F--- Y-- to get results faster than they are.

What motivates you when the people in your life let you down?

mummyzena

My other half is my gym buddy and he's been twice in the past 2 months... My motivation, getting more done when he's not there because i'm not on his time limit/having to leave because of his boredom.xx

lambchristie

I feel your pain. When others let me down I turn to the only One who hasn't and that is my Heavenly Father. Maybe not what you wanted to hear...yet in reality people always are letting others down. Depend on you and you only to get up and get moving. Make friends at your gym and become gym buddies with them. You may find yourself in the position of encouraging your roommate and other friend to keep moving onward in this journey. Stay focused on you and your goals and you will be successful.

Shan790

my gym buddy is like that too. Cancels all the time for stuff like house cleaning, too tired, busy running errands etc... Love that she then turns around and complains to me that I am looking so much better and losing weight and showing muscle and she isnt changing

When she does go I Always start before her and stay later, she does maybe 10-15 on machines with weights set as low as they can go. My hubby motivates me a ton even though he doesn't go with me

Uselessly_Irrelevant

Love that she then turns around and complains to me that I am looking so much better and losing weight and showing muscle and she isn't changing

I wonder is she even realizes the reason? I know my friend thinks she is working out all the time (sure, by comparison to doing nothing ever it 2 or 3 days a week is a huge increase) and I'm making more progress (according to her) because I used to be in shape and I have good genes or something.

Do you ever say anything, or do you just smirk inside?

Shan790

Love that she then turns around and complains to me that I am looking so much better and losing weight and showing muscle and she isn't changing

I wonder is she even realizes the reason? I know my friend thinks she is working out all the time (sure, by comparison to doing nothing ever it 2 or 3 days a week is a huge increase) and I'm making more progress (according to her) because I used to be in shape and I have good genes or something.

Do you ever say anything, or do you just smirk inside?

smirk outside and flex LOL then complain my pants are about to fall down!

jljshoe1979

I feel your pain. When others let me down I turn to the only One who hasn't and that is my Heavenly Father. Maybe not what you wanted to hear...yet in reality people always are letting others down. Depend on you and you only to get up and get moving. Make friends at your gym and become gym buddies with them. You may find yourself in the position of encouraging your roommate and other friend to keep moving onward in this journey. Stay focused on you and your goals and you will be successful.

I like this comment^^^. People will let you down in every area, including exercise...

I can't afford a trainer, but sometimes when I'm on the a workout machine, and I know in my head that I'm not giving 100% I close my eyes for just a second and imagine having someone like Chris Powell (or Bob or Jillian or Dolvett from the Biggest Loser) telling me to push myself or go harder just for a minute or two...for some reason the imagined trainer helps me push through.

Uselessly_Irrelevant

I close my eyes for just a second and imagine having someone like Chris Powell (or Bob or Jillian or Dolvett from the Biggest Loser) telling me to push myself or go harder just for a minute or two...for some reason the imagined trainer helps me push through.

I never thought to do this, I like this idea I feel like the last 5 minutes of anything kill me; maybe I'll adopt your imagined trainer

_DaniD_

Agreed. I am also so much better than all of my RL friends because I workout and they don't.

TylerJ76

I get motivated by all the hot chicks I am going to bang...

Mainebikerchick

Agreed. I am also so much better than all of my RL friends because I workout and they don't.

Me too! I have like 2 friends in RL who work out....makes me wish all my awesome peeps on my FL here lived closer so we could rip some $H!T up!!

Capt_Inzane

^^ I lol'd @ banging hot chicks

Without going too deep into my past

I'm recently divorced so some of my motivation is finding a young lady that I can roll around in the sheets with. I've never been attracted to larger women (nothing wrong with them just never been attracted to one) so in order for me to get the type of girl I'm physically attracted to I kinda need to be in better shape myself. Plus typically people who take care of themselves seem to have a better outlook on life (my opinion).

I also had to take care of someone for some time after my father passed away and during that time that person dragged me down so low in life it was hard to wake up in the morning (...ehh enough of that). My point is though don't let others drag you down, you need to understand what you're doing and more importantly why. As long as you keep that in your head you'll push harder at the gym and put down those sweets/etc.

If you ever need extra motivation from a net ninja zombie fat killer ....add me.
I'm not giving up on myself and if I have to drag others with me..well let's go!

Shawshankcan

I stopped depending on people to train with a long time ago. Finding good gym partners is almost as hard as the dedication needed for goals. I do it, for the most part, on my own now. I am fortunate enough though, to find a group of guys who train strongman once a week. These guys will not let me sit back. They keep pushing me. These groups are hard to find.

Buff2022

I don't have any work out buddies. Although I have offered to bring a co-workers wife when she wants to go. She says she wants to lose weight and blah blah blah. But she has not taken me up on it at all.

My gym time is MY TIME. I am me..not anyone's mother, gf, friend, co-worker, daugher..you get the idea. I put on my headphones and go to it.

When I am dying...I find a song that really pushes me. For example: Bruno Mars Beautiful girls makes me keep going. Because I start to think of those 2 little "bleeps" who think they are the ****. And I say well you don't have **** on me.

The last season of Biggest Loser was really a motivator for me. I loved Dani from jump. I remember Jillian saying to her..you can do anything for 1 min. That keeps me going too.

Sometimes I just pray. Lord give me the strength to get through this. I repeat over and over and over.

I have learned and learned quick..that the ones I would expect to be my cheerleaders have been my biggest let downs. But I am now down 25 pounds and I plan to keep going.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

Motivation comes from within. You either want it or you dont

Cliffslosinit

If you are looking to others for your motivation, it's going to be a long road.
First thing don't talk bs behind your friends back....you're actually no better than they are, become a better person.

Shawshankcan

One thing to be careful with when starting out and using a partner - the thought that if they don't go, then I don't have to go. It is an easy way out. Easiest way for me, just stop thinking about it.

bokodasu

And this is why I don't try to work out with my outside-the-gym friends. One day it's, "hey, let's take a day off" and then two weeks later I'm waking up in a pile of cupcake wrappers and wiping the frosting off my lips in a sugar-induced haze. Besides, my friends who do work out pretty much fall into two categories - the ones who like doing things I don't (running, bleck) or the ones who live an hour or more away from me.

But you can meet people at the gym. It's cool. It took me six months of seing the same woman working out at the same time as me every day before I finally realized she's my across-the-street-neighbor. Now we are up to a head-bob and occasional "hey", which counts as some serious social interaction in my book.

Hellbent_Heidi

The only "gym buddy" who never lets me down is my iPod (unless I forget to charge her for too long). I did make friends at the gym with some people who are there consistently, but its never a good idea to rely on someone who isn't already consistent when it comes to working out.

Congrats to you for using their slacking as your own motivation.. They'll be wishing they went when you start looking great :flowerforyou:

Pixi_Rex

I don't rely on people in my life to motivate me. I do that myself. I work out alone that way the only person I can get mad at is me, there is no one to blame but me ever.

I suggest finding the motivation in yourself and just do it.

qbrvp

Story of my life.That's why I don't go looking for any. I invite people that may struggle with weight loss but bets believe I learned my lesson on gym buddies. They can make you fall off your schedule and they're determination may wear off while you are fired up. Some buddies don't take it as serious as they should. It's a commitment.

LBNOakland

I agree with others. I do have a personal trainer and he assigns homework! LOL AND checks it!! We work together 1 day a week. He has 2 other workouts written out for me 2 days a week. The other 2 days, I am expected to do HIIT cardio then 2 days of rest. I know what is expected of me. I pay for those expectations but you don't have to.

Set a schedule and don't be diverted. I have a hubby and 4 children. At first, hubby would say, "well, I rented a movie so go tomorrow night." i would say, "Nope, tonight is weights. Tomorrow is cardi. if I do weights tomorrow, I can't do weights the next day. i got a schedule!" He now respects my schedule and knows my schedule. My kids will even go with me some days and do the assigned workouts.

If I waited on buddies, I would find a million and 1 excuses. Buddies are welcome to join me. Here is my schedule. Wether you make it or not, that's where I will be!! BTW, as they see your progress, your buddies will probably be inspired and will make it more often!

rljohnsufl

My swim buddy has cancelled probably 4 of the last 6 weeks (we swim once a week). Sometimes it's legit (she has health problems that flare up) but sometimes I don't confirm quickly enough and she makes other plans*. The problem is, I can't get into the pool without her b/c she's the member and I'm her free guest. Really, I'm thankful for the arrangement. She picks me up, takes me to swim for free, then takes me home.

So I've been weight training at home when she cancels, but I need to just go to my nearby pool and cough up the $7 and deal with the crowds...I really enjoy swimming and it's good for me, but the logistics suck.

*this seems to be a generational thing. If I (Gen X) have a standing workout date with you, you can assume I'll be there unless I tell you. My friend, though, (Gen Y) seems to decide the day of whether she wants to go, and will cancel if I don't quickly confirm on the day of. One day I didn't check my gmail for a few hours so she made other plans. :grumble:

Suzanuh

My sister and I joined the gym at the same time. I was really pumped, but also realized that my schedule is so different from hers that we wouldn't likely be able to go at the same time every day. So I told her up front I didn't want to feel pressured into being her motivation. If I can't go to the gym one day I didn't want her to blame me for her not getting her butt there too.

It's worked for both of us though. We go to the gym together a couple times a week, but the rest of the time I am on my own. But it doesn't matter to me because other than the car ride I'm not much company. Once I enter the gym I go into ME mode and I don't get out until I'm done with my workout.

cerexflikex

I don't have gym buddies. For me it's a nice time alone to just get my ipod on and go to it. I didn't know how much I'd like going to the gym, but it's been great for me.

missybct

I joined the gym about a month ago with a friend who was going through a similar, difficult time. He is fitter than me by far (and within a healthy weight range, he just wants to get fitter) but due to various mental issues, he couldn't attend all the time.

Honestly? I prefer going by myself. Genuinely, I do. I love my friend to death, but I like just being able to stick my headphones in and get on with it - I find that I get distracted if I go with someone else (I tried to get my brother to come and he flaked out on me after half an hour, I was relieved!) because a) my workouts differ as I need to lose a large amount of weight and b) they tend to bumble around or want to leave earlier than me - I have a routine which I like to stick to and I hate being rushed.

Just keep going - you'll make friends there; I've started chatting to the PT's and regulars, and it's really good to know there are people who want the same goals as you.

librarianjenne

I don't have gym buddies. It just doesn't work out for me. I'm an introvert, though, so it works for me to work out alone. I work harder.

bunbunzee44

meh it doesn't bother me if no one comes with me, I'll go by myself it's their problem, not mine.

Warchortle

I only go with gym with "buddies" on my off days... I only have one friend that I can actually work out, but that's because he's worked out a lot longer than me.

vstraughan

Crikey! I really support the comment about looking for your motivation in others will mean a very long journey for you. On the other hand you sound very persistent and like you're instilling discipline in yourself ... so GOOD FOR YOU! :-)

I can't be much help otherwise as I would hate to go the gym with my friends ... I consider the gym my time to focus on me and my thoughts and listen to some banging tunes for 90 mins. It's definitely my daily selfish time. I have the rest of the day to contend with other people, compromise, blah blah bleurgh

DonttrythatwithME

get you business done without these people dragging you down... I'm a selfish trainer I just want to get things done. I have enough trouble at time convincing myself to drag my *kitten* out of bed nevermind trying to drag someone elses too :P.