Hi - just joined -hoping for success

abigailtabby

Good morning! I am an alcoholic and also suffer from clinical depression. Your first reaction is - Hey you're on the wrong site!

Actually, I'm not. I quit drinking a week today (YIPPEE) and most of my weight gain is from drinking Jack Daniels and chasing it with sweetened iced tea. I am unemployed so I spent the day drinking and sitting in my bed playing computer games and watching TV. My diet has been very poor, but I was at least eating. About a year and 1/2 ago I was drinking heavily and NOT eating. My chaser was Diet Pepsi. I lost a lot of weight and got down to 120 pounds which was my HS weight, but it was not a healthy weight, and I lost a lot of muscle tone. I had a lot of health problems and developed alcohol related neuropathy - which is nerve damage in the feet associated with alcohol abuse - essentially it is a caused by a B vitamin deficiency from not eating. After admitting to family that I was an alcoholic, I quit drinking and started trying to eat again. Food was still repulsive to me but over time I got back to eating normally, but also started drinking again (this is the depression again) I've had a lot of negative live changing events in the past 5 years and really hit rock bottom.

So, I was eating a poor diet, sometimes not eating much, but drinking heavily and consuming enormous amounts of sugar. I just didn't care and didn't see any point in trying. I would binge for 3-4 days, then go through withdrawal for two days and then be right back on the alcohol.

I've done a lot of praying and trying to pull myself up but never could seem to do it. I guess I had an epiphany last week, or finally made the decision to try to live - I don't know. One thing that did make a difference is I started taking B complex supplements first thing in the morning - this always improves my mood and helps curb the depression. So, with all that said, I've been clean for a week, am consistently taking my vitamins in the morning when I wake up so I don't fall into the depression hole, and immediately started down the path to lose the 45 pounds I've gained over the past year.

I found MFP on Friday and thought I would give it a try. It' been a good guideline so far to help me determine what foods I should be eating vs. not eating, although I am still getting acclimated. I've been getting out and exercising every day and do not spend all day sitting in my bed, so I'm not as sedentary as I was.

I am having a hard time consuming the goal calories every day, mostly because if I do consume that many calories, I'll blow my carbs and sugar amounts. Yesterday, I met my carbs/sugar goals, but blew my protein and still didn't consume all the calories that it said. I also don't like that it adds your exercise back to your calories. The point of exercise is to burn calories and lose weight, not just eat more to offset the calories you burned. I know there must be some logic to this that I don't get, but I don't see it yet.

I'm sure I've really screwed up my metabolism from my lifestyle and my liver is probably not functioning properly. I'm taking some supplements to help offset that. I've noticed I'm not as bloated and puffy as I was, and I feel better except for some aches and pains that have flared up - I imagine those were there before but were just masked by the alcohol. In the past, when I wanted to lose weight, I just cut carbs and it came right off, so I am expecting that just cutting out the alcohol and sweet tea will have a big impact, but that may not be the case this time since I'm older and have certainly done some major damage to my body.

But overall, I'm in good spirits, I want to succeed and plan to get my life back on track. I have never been this heavy or looked this bad and frankly I disgust myself that I let other people and circumstances push me down that hole.

Sorry for the long post - just had to get some of that off my chest. I'm sure I'll get the hang of coordinating my meals over time to get to the calorie goals and not blow my other goals. More vegetables seem to be the key - I love fruit and could eat that nonstop but too much sugar - even tho it's good sugar. And, I'm taking the goals as guidelines more than hard and fast rules.

Thanks for listening!

delvin2

Welcome to MFP. You get out what you put in. I have folks on my friend list who haven't changed a single thing, yet swear that tracking and support don't work. I lost 9 lbs prior to MFP, but a additional 36 lbs since joining. It's a matter of lifestyle.