That one moment caused a relapse- feeling weak.

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Kelley_B
Kelley_B Posts: 6 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Okay. I'm fairly new to MFP and am definitely new to the whole "losing weight in a healthy way" thing. Have been trying to lose weight for years, but through fad diets and bulimic methods.

I recently celebrated my 25th birthday. We went to the Cheesecake Factory. My whole family was there. They brought out the bread before they took our order because we weren't ready yet. My two sisters and I took a piece from the loaf, munching on it as we talked.

My father looked at me and said, "Shall we pray, or shall we just strap on the feeding bag?" At me. This was directed at me. Not my two sisters who also took some of the bread (we also don't usually pray until the main course comes). But it was just meant for me. Because I'm the fat one and my sisters are sticks.

So you know what I did? I ate a bunch.

And I feel like a failure. And I feel like I'm proving him right.

I'm not trying to be THAT person. I'm usually not emotional at all. But I could really use some encouragement or similar stories in which you over came right now. Please?

Thanks.

Replies

  • gracetillman
    gracetillman Posts: 190 Member
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    I am sorry that your father made you feel bad, but you gave him power which he should not have over you and your life. You cannot control what happens to you sometimes -- the words that are said or the actions done -- but you can always control your reaction to those things. You need to demonstrate self love by NOT having the over emotional reaction which causes you to lose control. You turned over the power over yourself when you allowed the inconsiderate comment to be your excuse to overeat.

    Don't give away the power.

    Living well and succeeding on your plan to become healthy will be the ultimate revenge. It is a great big HA HA in the faces of those who thought you could not do it. You can do it. Believe in yourself and don't let anyone else steer you from your course.
  • perrinjoshua
    perrinjoshua Posts: 286 Member
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    I am so sorry that your birthday dinner had such a nasty incident. Just remember that you are the most important person here and your health and happiness comes first. Let what was said go, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you have chosen a new path. You can do this, it won't happen overnight, but it will happen and that's a fact. Hang in there, and next year you won't be the "fat one".
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
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    That's so horrible that your own father would make such a hurtful remark to you. Does he know how much you struggle with your weight and that you're trying to make healthy changes? I think it might be time for a talk with him and just tell him how much rude comments like that make you feel WORSE about your healthy choices.

    But, you can't let people's comments and opinions affect you. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

    You have to do this for YOU and nobody else. I was picked on ALOT all throughout school. My first boyfriend's friends mooed behind me when we walked through the halls together. Did I mention all I ate ate lunch through high school was a bag of pretzels and a water? I felt so bad about myself and of course not eating didn't help. My HS reunion is in 3 weeks and I was trying so hard to get all this weight off before I go back so i'm not THAT girl anymore but I realized... who cares? Who cares what they think anyway? I have to do this for me and I feel great about my progress and I'm going to go back in there with my head held high knowing that I'm doing this and eventually I'll get there and they are going to see the CONFIDENT person I've become... not the chubby sad girl I used to be.

    You CAN DO THIS! Don't let 1 bad night ruin it for you... keep going and eventually you'll get there FOR YOU.
  • flitabout
    flitabout Posts: 200 Member
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    Well besides the fact that what your father said was totally awful. You have to remember 1 bad meal is not a lifetime. I had something similar happen to me when I was 15 and I never ate at another family meal again.That's not to say that I didn't eat. Here is the hard part.
    You and only you can and have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps. You can do this. Don't allow someone else to define who you are and how you will live! You and only you have the power to change your life. It's one meal not your life, unless you allow it to be! You got this! You are strong enough to do this!
  • Kelley_B
    Kelley_B Posts: 6 Member
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    Thank you, everyone. Blessings on you all.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    Your dad acted like a jerk. I can understand getting discouraged and falling back on food as a result but you're only a failure if you never try again. Which you're not going to do because you're here and we're going to tell you that you can do it because if we can, so can you. He may not be supportive but we will be. You are not alone.

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