GIANT Hurdle Life Is Throwing At Me

CodyBearsMom

I have never really done this before so am not sure anyone will respond. I was so proud of myself in the beginning of the month, knowing it had been five months since I needed to be off of work for anything, thinking I may even make a full year without an issue. My fall on May 5th broke that. My leg gave out, was like the foot and wasn't there. I cried as it hurt my feelings more than it hurt my body. However, when I fell on the following Tuesday night, I knew something was wrong. So I went to the ER. After several arguments with the ER doctor and then my neurologist (I have peripheral neuropathy which has an unknown cause), I was able to get an appointment with the stand-in doctor. He ordered a MRI of the entire spinal cord as well as neck and brain. I fell one more time on Friday night, thankfully not breaking anything. I found out yesterday that the reason I am having the weakness is my T7 and T8 vertebrae has a disc bulge, pinching into my spinal cord. I was told exercise and weight lifting of any kind can't be done till I am ok by the surgeon. No work either. I really let myself go last week when it became apparent that I was in trouble, eating foods that are high in carbs, sugar, and fat. Surprising, I lost 6 pounds. I know that eating the way I did will not be beneficial in the long run nor will I feel better on the inside, but food is something I have control over when I feel out of control in other areas of my life. I am scared about this pending surgery. I am scared that I will gain what I have lost, which will cause me to feel worse than I already do. I do not have many people as friends because I am the one people tend to take advantage of because I always look out for others, putting them before myself. My family is close by and my sister is using MFP which is a HUGE help. Maybe I am throwing myself a pity party but a part of me says that is not the case, that these are legit concerns. So if any of you out there reading this can share an experience with me on what happened to you and how you either crashed, burned, then got back on track, or did crash but stayed on track, please do so. I want to keep going in getting healthy but I feel right now as though my body says "no way!" If you do not respond, I thank you for reading this and hope that if you are struggling that you will feel that you are not alone.

Willbenchforcupcakes

Oh, hun, you are not alone!

I have had more than my share of serious injuries ... from permanent nerve impingement from T2-C8, to having a horse step on my knee, in fact, I have injured every single joint in my body. What I have done every time is listened to my doctors, listened to my therapists. This, and this alone, is why I am able to push my body so hard now. Give your body the time and rest it needs right now and while it heals from surgery.

As for food, yes, it is one thing you can control. You, and you alone, control what you put into your body. Give it the nutrition it needs now. Honor your body, take care of it. If you control what you eat, you will not put the weight you have lost back on.

amyk0202

I hope everything works out for you healthwise. You are right--one thing you can control is your food. You can definitely keep losing weight by watching what you eat--exercise is good for you & you need it in the end to be fit, but you can lose a bunch of weight without it & add exercise once your surgeon says it's ok. Don't give up! I know how hard it is to resist stress/emotional eating.

marygee1951

I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for specifically, other than you need some support and encouragement to stay on track and move forward in your weight loss journey.

Let me share a bit about myself. I am 61 years old, and have been morbidly obese for most of my life. I have numerous health problems because of that. Heart disease. High blood pressure. Peripheral neuropathy (like you) that causes legs and arms to be numb and weak, have difficulty walking and use a cane. Archilles tendonitis, both legs. DDD/Arthritis. Depression. Anxiety. I am now on Social Security Disability, after working for 40 years. I'm on numerous medicatons. Finances are difficult.

I've tried every diet in the book, and then some. I've given up on diets - now I'm using this website and changing my way of life. Now I plan my meals ahead of time. I log my food every day. If I want Kentucky Fried Chicken or Chinese food, I have it, in moderation. Since I'm planning ahead I don't go overboard. Instead of a Chinese buffet, I order egg drop soup and Teryaki chicken wings or soup and shrimp fried rice.

My physical problems don't cause me to overeat. I don't overeat because of hunger because I have enough calories per day to satisfy my needs. We overeat because of our emotions. We "companion" ourselves with food. We feel better for a brief time - and then we feel guilty about it, and overeat some more. It's a vicous cycle. I try to break it by keeping a journal, writing down my feelings and my objectives. I'm responsible for me, and I've got to own up to that.

I come to this site several times a day. I get lots of information and support ere, and I post often. It has helped me tremendously.

I hope your pending surgery is successful, I'm sure you're very nervous about it. You should continue to log in here because it's a great place - most people will offer you support and encouragement. It looks like you joined in December, yet you have only posted 3 times. Get more active!!

Good luck. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

WifeofPJ

I don't think you are throwing yourself a pitty party. All of your concerns are valid, and It's great the you wrote them down. I'd suggest copping it into a blog for easy finding it again. If I were in your situation would have the same exact anxieties.

Good luck with the surgery and I hope that you stay on MFP during this time to use people as motivation.

JayStu

I am sorry but I don't have any experiences to relate to yours but I wanted to wish you all the best in your surgery and the time to come.

skinnylady2014

As others have said on here, I am so sorry about your falls and hope your surgery goes well. By all means, listen to your doctor(s) and stay off your feet until you have permission to walk again or whatever.

I believe you will feel so much better about yourself emotionally and physically if you continue to log in here every day and continue to monitor your food. Right now your body needs good, healthy foods.

One thing you mentioned: that people tend to take advantage of you because you put others' wellbeing before your own, or something to that effect. You need to take care of YOU, and then spend whatever energy you have left to care about others. Otherwise, WHO will take care of YOU??? Just my two cents worth.

Wishing you all the best!!!!

Coyoteldy

I have crashed and burned more times than I can count..mostly because of my penchant for picking fights with thunderstorms and running into trees... accidents .. surgeries.. falling off the horses...but you are going to be FINE.. the whole purpose of all of this is to take care of you and frankly.. getting this surgery IS taking care of you so you don't fall and seriously impair yourself. This is not a pity party... you have every right to be concerned, confused and frightened...but hang in there you are getting yourself back on track.. surgery is part of that... and then you can move onto other stages much healthier and stable.... hang in there sweety we are ALLLL pulling for you ok?