Beginner's Workout and side stitches

Hi all,

So, it's been a while since I've worked out, and I find that every time I start up a new workout routine, one of the following happens:

1) I get bored....especially when it comes to performing the same routine: jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups = snore!
2) I get too sore to move forward. - The last time this happened, I was sore for weeks and I wasn't getting any better. How can I start a beginner's routine and build on that success?
3) I get side stitches when I run! All the time! It's the reason all of my runs turn into slow jogs, which sucks because I loved running in high school, but I had the same problem! Does anyone have any tips? The running out of breath/energy is just something that happens less when you build up stamina, right? So, that will take time and patience, but the side stitches are the worst! Any advice?

I have the food part under control, I always do a good job of eating the right amount of calories, and I know if I start working out, I should eat back the calories I burn and add them to the 1200 daily recommendation for weight loss. (Is this correct?)

Also, thank you all for being so warm and welcoming!