Dieting and social life

annacjames

I have been using MFP and dieting for over 6 months now and have lost 57lbs now but it is a very slow process and I was wondering how it affects everyone else's social life.

I'm in a pattern of losing weight and doing well but then I will have a night out drinking with friends and I will put on 6lbs over a weekend. For example, tonight I've been invited to a friends house for Eurovision and wine - I really want to go and have fun but am so worried about the calories in alcohol it's stressing me out. Even if I just drank 2 glasses of wine I would put on weight and it will take me another week to lose it.

I am motivated at the moment and so want to lose the lbs but I also want to be able to have a social life without the guilt and the weight gain. I keep finding myself turning down social engagements and that can't be healthy either!

Does anybody have any advice?

Thanks!

Anna

jessicae1aine

How many calories are you eating/drinking on weekends? To gain 6 lbs, you'd need to be taking in 21,000 beyond your current maintenance level. My assumption is, it's sodium intake - and that you have the ability to drink water instead of wine, so if it's causing you that much stress, do so.

Maris_Swan

I found that finding a balance truly helps. Being healthy is something that has to be part of a healthy lifestyle, but there are challenging moments and situations that do happen. It's easy to say you won't do x,y and z but in reality, we have to have a life and sometimes that involves situations (drinking, eating out) and experiences that are a part of life that we cannot sacrifice on account of our journey. I have found that on an occasion where I know I am most likely to go over calories, I just do it. I make sure the day of to get to the gym and get my water intake regardless of how I will eat/drink in the evening. I do not weigh myself the next day (as that 6lbs on a weekend that you said you can gain is really just water weight...too much sodium, etc). I know that after a night out I need to let myself recover and I get right back on track. Granted, this happens to me twice a month at the most (with drinks), but I do eat out on the weekends, so I just have to prepare myself for it as much as possible and move on.

beattie1

Have a look at the 5:2 diet. It doesn't suit everyone as you eat just 500 calories on 2 separated days in the week (Mondays and Thursdays are popular, but you can choose days that suit you). For the rest of the week you eat at or close to mainenance. As you get your weekly deficit in just 2 (very) restricted days it works well for people with an active social life. If you wanted to save even more calories for booze at the week-end you could eat a bit below maintenance on weekdays when you're not fasting.

You need to make very careful choices of what to eat on "fasting" days and I find that I AM hungry in the afternoon and while I cook dinner, so you need to plan and have food ready to cook and eat, or snacking you didn't mean to do will happen!

You could try it out for a week or two & if it's not for you, move on. Lots of people use it for its health benefits and lose weight as well. I find it's very useful to remind myself what hunger feels like, and that it's not fatal, and that it goes after a short time (and comes back in waves, but they're not BAD!!).

Lesa_Sass

Is there a reason you can not go and have fun with out wine? Can you only have 2 glasses, for real?

A night of eating and drinking is not going to make you gain weight. Lots of nights of bad choices will though.


The thought of alcohol should not be stressing you out. Trust me, lots of fun can be had with out alcohol. I have not had a drop of it in over 5 years and I have a ball. I used to get stressed out over people asking me if I wanted a drink and turning it down, turns out, people really do not care if I drink or not, and the ones that do, well those people typically have a problem with alcohol, because people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not care if someone else is not drinking.

Good luck and I hope you can figure out some balance in your life.

sugarlips1980

Congrats on your progress! Losing 57 pounds in 6 months isn't slow progress, that's fantastic! So don't stress, you're doing really well. I struggle with the same issue. Sometimes I can go out have some drinks and I've stayed within my cal goals if Ive compensated for it by exercising during the day and I lose weight and all is good. Other times, I do I well during the week, lose a pound or two bit then blow it at the weekend because of drinking, eating junk when drunk or hungover and general laziness from the hangover and my weight is back to square one! But you can't be a social hermit or you'll just find this lifestyle change a negative thing. Got to get the balance between staying focussed and enjoying yourself. I try to a) go out and try to drink a bit less, then I'm not hungover next day to exercise and the weekend isn't a right off (sometimes easier said than done!) and b) sometimes avoid booze if a week or two to shift some pounds then treat myself to a night out say if I've lost 5 pounds. Good luck!

Hegelian

Anna I agree with this post wholeheartedly it is very wise and works for me too so it hopefully will with you also. Also look out for so called female friends who will sabotage your efforts to lose weight based on well ingrained competitiveness between women over such matters as weight loss. This is often the case if you have always been the one who weighed the most in a group of friends and now you either are not or are closing in on others. I have now worked out who will encourage me in my efforts and who will try and sabotage and try and plan ahead. I am going to a wedding today and i am entering the same battle after a weeks holiday and a gain of 4lbs. I am now in year 7 of a maintenance phase-this is harder than losing weight and using the wisdom from this post I circle around the same 6lbs most of the time-but I have found a balance that is realistic for me. My head still tells me at times losing another 10lbs would be good but it is hard to maintain. Good luck and enjoy the eurovision.

NicoleMGetsFit

I'm at university, and I'll admit a regular drinker...
On the days that I know I'm going out I preplan my meals, and often my drinks (also usually make sure I have spare for extra)
I try to keep track of everything, and usually make sure that I jog/ workout in the morning of that day to boost what I have burnt.
If you track what you're drinking and workout before you might be able to stay in calories.
Also, for eating out you can find A LOT of popular chain restaurant's calories on mfp and preplan.
good luck!

annacjames

Hi Jessica - I really don't understand it - my BMR is approx 2500 and MFP is set at 1460. Last weekend I didn't drink but made a few iffy choice but I still only went slightly over my cals but put on the 6lbs. You can see my diary. I record everything apart from walking and water. I drink a lot and walk every day. Am really feeling low about this because I can't find a happy medium and sticking to 1400 is tough long term. I'm always just so hungry!

annacjames

I might look into the 5:2 diet thanks!

mjl54

Hi Jessica - I really don't understand it - my BMR is approx 2500 and MFP is set at 1460. Last weekend I didn't drink but made a few iffy choice but I still only went slightly over my cals but put on the 6lbs. You can see my diary. I record everything apart from walking and water. I drink a lot and walk every day. Am really feeling low about this because I can't find a happy medium and sticking to 1400 is tough long term. I'm always just so hungry!

FYI 2500 BMR is high for woman. your TDEE may be 2500 but not your BMR

momzeeee

I might look into the 5:2 diet thanks!

It's a very neat plan, that gives you a lot of freedom It's laid out in Dr. Michael Mosley's book, The Fast Diet. He also has a BBC and PBS documentary/special out, that you can watch online for free. There's also a 5:2 group here on mfp.

annacjames

Hi Jessica - I really don't understand it - my BMR is approx 2500 and MFP is set at 1460. Last weekend I didn't drink but made a few iffy choice but I still only went slightly over my cals but put on the 6lbs. You can see my diary. I record everything apart from walking and water. I drink a lot and walk every day. Am really feeling low about this because I can't find a happy medium and sticking to 1400 is tough long term. I'm always just so hungry!

FYI 2500 BMR is high for woman. your TDEE may be 2500 but not your BMR

I don't know about a TDEE but 2690 is my my BMR after applying the Harris Benedict formula.

mjl54

Hi Jessica - I really don't understand it - my BMR is approx 2500 and MFP is set at 1460. Last weekend I didn't drink but made a few iffy choice but I still only went slightly over my cals but put on the 6lbs. You can see my diary. I record everything apart from walking and water. I drink a lot and walk every day. Am really feeling low about this because I can't find a happy medium and sticking to 1400 is tough long term. I'm always just so hungry!

FYI 2500 BMR is high for woman. your TDEE may be 2500 but not your BMR

I don't know about a TDEE but 2690 is my my BMR after applying the Harris Benedict formula.

that still seems high but ok.

CharRicho

It's not possible to put on 6 lbs of permanent weight gain over 48 hours, eating the way you're saying.

All you've done is retain water from the alcohol and "iffy" food choices as you say. Drink a TON more water during your nights out and you shouldn't have this problem. You might retain a little bit, but just up your water intake over the next few days and it'll come back off.

Alexandra289

I know the feeling - I get to the point where I don't want to do things with my friends because I know it will involve excessive eating/drinking. I let myself have big nights occasionally which involve eating or drinking too much (eg, tonight, Eurovision!). The thing I find frustrating is I know that some of my friends will get all weird with me if I don't eat or drink too much, they'll tell me I HAVE to have another glass of wine or get nachos to share or stuff like that - try and stick to my guns but sometimes it's hard because I don't want it to look like I'm making a point of turning things down.

I know this is *****y but the worst are friends who are bigger than me or have tried to lose weight and not been successful. I just try and keep my weight loss to myself and not make a big deal of it in but I think sometimes they can have a bit of an attitude of 'well if I can't be thin I'll try and make her fat too'. (That might be an awful thing to say and maybe I've completely misread it but I know girls can be like this sometimes!!)