I don't know what to do

Steph_in_FL

I'm desperate to lose this weight, but I am totally unmotivated. I have never eaten that much, and the only times I've ever lost weight is when I didn't eat at all, like during fasts. No amount of exercise seems to help, PLUS I am 61 years old and have lupus, so I can't exercise like someone who is 25 and healthy.

I'm ready to just go ana again until I get past this event I have to attend in September. I simply can't go looking like this, and I don't have a choice but to go.

I don't have time to count calories and fix healthy meals and work out for two hours a day...I truly don't. I work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I really don't have time. It would kill me!

I've left so many forums because all I hear is "eat more, exercise more," and that just doesn't work for me. At this point, I'd rather starve than be fat.

shadow2soul

I'm desperate to lose this weight, but I am totally unmotivated. I have never eaten that much, and the only times I've ever lost weight is when I didn't eat at all, like during fasts. No amount of exercise seems to help, PLUS I am 61 years old and have lupus, so I can't exercise like someone who is 25 and healthy.

I'm ready to just go ana again until I get past this event I have to attend in September. I simply can't go looking like this, and I don't have a choice but to go.

I don't have time to count calories and fix healthy meals and work out for two hours a day...I truly don't. I work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I really don't have time. It would kill me!

I've left so many forums because all I hear is "eat more, exercise more," and that just doesn't work for me. At this point, I'd rather starve than be fat.

1) All that is required to lose weight, is to be at a calorie deficit.
2) You don't have to work out 2 hours a day. I only work out for 20 - 40 mins maybe 3 to 4 days a week. But I work out for the following reasons:
- Be stronger
- Be Leaner
- Feel Better
In other words, just to improve my overall fitness and looks.
3) Although, it is harder the older you get, it is not impossible. There are successful people on here who are in their 50's and 60's. I always tell myself that if they can do it than I can to.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/849393-any-success-stories-and-pics-of-women-over-50?hl=success+over+50

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/932607-women-ages-50-for-march-2013

4) Try the 30 day shred. It's only a 20 min workout and yes it is hard, but the exercises are very simple. I have seen post about people over 50 doing it, so it's not an impossible workout.

5) If you have been under eating for years, then you have probably slowed your metabolism as a result. Oddly enough to fix this you usually have to eat more and exercise, but if you don't want to, no one can make you.

"At this point, I'd rather starve than be fat."

^ This is honestly not the best attitude to have. Starving yourself can do so much harm to your body. Are you really willing to damage your health just to lose a few pounds? I understand you already have lupus, but do you really want to make things worse. I'm not trying to chase you off or anything. I just don't get why you'd rather be skinny over healthy.

mallory3411

If you aren't motivated that you probably don't want it bad enough. Someone can say they do all they want but until they have the motivation and the plan, they don't really want it.

We are all busy. We all don't have time. You have to MAKE the time to make healthy meals... to count calories... to get exercise in if you want to lose weight bad enough. You don't find the time and you don't starve... you make the time to do what needs to be done. Not having the time is used far too often as an excuse. You don't have to workout two hours a day. You can lose weight without exercise by sticking to calories.

Take a walk at lunch... park farther from work and walk part of the way.. etc. Put dinner in a crockpot in the morning so it's ready when you come home. Make a lot of meals on your day off and freeze. Find time to do what needs to be done and you WILL be successful.

You need to change your mindset as well. It's not right to rather starve than be fat. And that event you need to go to... regardless of your weight you can go and enjoy it. Confidence shows a lot more to people than a few lbs will. Be confident and you will be beautiful.. regardless of weight.

ElizabethKalmbach

This is harsh, but what you need to do is to stop making excuses for making bad choices. Having lupus is hard. Getting old is hard. The solutions to these problems are not easy. Anorexia will make BOTH of those conditions WORSE.

I am hypothyroid with hashimotos. I have B12 anemia and neuropathy that makes it very difficult and painful for me to work out. I work full time. I have a 3-year-old daughter. I work out at a gym during my lunch break twice a week, and take my daughter for long walks on weekends. I pre-pack my lunches for the week and make sure they are healthy on the weekends. I haven't lost a lick of weight in 6 months of working out and eating right, but I haven't given up, because it's the ONLY THING that's keeping me from losing muscle and gaining EVEN MORE WEIGHT.

You can come complain and make more bad choices, and we might identify with you and sympathize, but NONE OF THAT will physically help you. Sometimes you just have to DECIDE that your body isn't going to defeat you. You have to DECIDE that your health is MORE IMPORTANT than anything else. You have to fight with your doctor to get the help you need. You have to skip a little bit of comfort on the couch in favor of sweat to feel more energetic later in the day.

IT SUCKS at first. But you know what? After the first couple of weeks, IT GETS EASIER. But you have to START and KEEP AT IT to know that. If you give up before you begin, and buy your own line of BS about why you "can't," then you never will. YOU CAN. Start by changing ONE THING. Do that for a week and change ONE MORE THING. You don't have to start everything at once, but you do have to START, or you'll never get anywhere.

Good luck.

AllonsYtotheTardis

I'm desperate to lose this weight, but I am totally unmotivated.

No one can give you motivation. You have to want it, for yourself.

I simply can't go looking like this, and I don't have a choice but to go.

What would happen if you went like you are now. Really. How bad would it be.

I don't have time to count calories and fix healthy meals and work out for two hours a day...I truly don't. I work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I really don't have time.

On this site, there are plenty of full-time mothers, with small children, working full time jobs, many of whom are single mothers. They seem to be able to find the time to cook a healthy meal and get 30 minutes of exercise. Your excuse is invalid.

Sjenny5891

I couldn't exercise when I started. It was only what i got at work. My biggest surprise came when I started tracking my calories and realized how many I was DRINKING.
I lost most of my weight just by cutting out pop and sugary snacks. I don't know where you aare at, but MFP's system works if you want to put the time needed into it.

Otterluv

I'm desperate to lose this weight, but I am totally unmotivated. I have never eaten that much, and the only times I've ever lost weight is when I didn't eat at all, like during fasts. No amount of exercise seems to help, PLUS I am 61 years old and have lupus, so I can't exercise like someone who is 25 and healthy.

I'm ready to just go ana again until I get past this event I have to attend in September. I simply can't go looking like this, and I don't have a choice but to go.

I don't have time to count calories and fix healthy meals and work out for two hours a day...I truly don't. I work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I really don't have time. It would kill me!

I've left so many forums because all I hear is "eat more, exercise more," and that just doesn't work for me. At this point, I'd rather starve than be fat.

I'm confused, what exactly are you looking for in posting this? Validation? Yeah, you are probably not going to get that for your decision to "go ana", especially as you have a serious autoimmune disorder.

Many people with less time and worse health conditions somehow cook and exercise. Sorry, no cheerleading from me. Either do it or don't, it's your deal.

Besides, you aren't that much overweight that it should keep you from going to whatever event you have in September. That reluctance probably has more to do with your headspace than your weight.

allshebe

I'm 60. I don't work 10 hours a day, but my commute is about an hour 1 way, so 11 hours of my day from Monday through Friday is tied up with work. I have an hour for lunch and can do something resembling exercise then (sometimes I go for a walk when the weather is reasonable. Outside of my irregular walking, activities with my horses and fencing once a week or so with the Society for Creative Anachronism, I don't really exercise. I do eat healthy (always have to some degree). The only thing I've had to change is to be mindful of what I'm eating. I eat gluten free because I had symptoms of gluten issues that go away when I avoid gluten, so that makes meal planning a little more difficult, but not impossible - or really more time consuming. It doesn't take any more time to throw a salad together to take to work than something less healthy. I keep (relatively) healthy foods in my desk drawer - rice cakes, tuna fish in packets, nuts, baker's chocolate (100% cacao - and I've actually developed a taste for it) and we have a small refrigerator in the department where I can conveniently store yogurt, hummus, guacamole and salad dressing. It is not impossible to eat healthy and work long hours both - you just need to be a little creative sometimes. It can help to fix your lunch the night before.

Cheeky_0102

I'm desperate to lose this weight, but I am totally unmotivated.

No one can give you motivation. You have to want it, for yourself.

I simply can't go looking like this, and I don't have a choice but to go.

What would happen if you went like you are now. Really. How bad would it be.

I don't have time to count calories and fix healthy meals and work out for two hours a day...I truly don't. I work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day. I really don't have time.

On this site, there are plenty of full-time mothers, with small children, working full time jobs, many of whom are single mothers. They seem to be able to find the time to cook a healthy meal and get 30 minutes of exercise. Your excuse is invalid.

I'm a mom with three kids, two preteen boys and one baby boy. I work more than full time and I'm a part time student.

I don't exercise every day, I still have some fun, but I track and calculate everything, it's the only way FOR ME

On the days I don't have time exercise I lean to the "eat less" side

on the days I have time to exercise I lean to the "move more" side (like today!!!) and get to eat more food

I'm down 36 lbs in the last 3 months... I know what it's like to have challenges. My husband is laid off, so we have no budget. I get pains that stop me for a few days, but I get back on.

I have the added advantage of having had been thin and fit after a life of being fat once before. Once you get it back, you will forever know that that is INSIDE of you, just waiting to get out. I feel sad that I let it slip back over the last few years (culminating in a pregnancy - back up to 230 ish) but after the baby weight was gone and I was slightly better than prepregnancy but still at 210, I realized I had to change my habits.

feel free to friend be and stalk my lifestyle. I'm all about balance, as I have no time.

good luck!

Cheeky_0102

on another note... if you really don't want to have to think about it, try something like nutrisystem if you can afford it. They do all the work for you, food is ready, life is easier... yea you still have to cook for your kids, but at least you are off the list.

j6o4

if you starve yourself your probably losing muscle, its possible to lose weight and have a higher body fat percentage. so that means you can be lighter and look more flabby, thats probably not what you want

michellekicks

You're 61. What you decide right now will dictate how you spend the rest of your 60s and, God willing, your 70's... 80's? If you're lucky. I've watched my now 78 year old dad diet his whole life. In the last few years he's gained and lost more weight over and over again than anyone I know. He has now effectively low-calorie-dieted away all his muscles and can hardly walk anymore.

You must make time to make your health a priority if you are to hope for health and joy in your senior years. I'm not saying you're old - I have this convo with my mother in law all the time - sometimes she sounds like she's on death's door and I have to remind her she could have another 30 years on this earth to contend with!

Make them good years. Make them your years. Put as much effort into you as you've put into everyone and everything else over the years. Wasting away with anorexia is not the way to go.

HollisGrant

This is harsh, but what you need to do is to stop making excuses for making bad choices. Having lupus is hard. Getting old is hard. The solutions to these problems are not easy. Anorexia will make BOTH of those conditions WORSE.

I am hypothyroid with hashimotos. I have B12 anemia and neuropathy that makes it very difficult and painful for me to work out. I work full time. I have a 3-year-old daughter. I work out at a gym during my lunch break twice a week, and take my daughter for long walks on weekends. I pre-pack my lunches for the week and make sure they are healthy on the weekends. I haven't lost a lick of weight in 6 months of working out and eating right, but I haven't given up, because it's the ONLY THING that's keeping me from losing muscle and gaining EVEN MORE WEIGHT.

You can come complain and make more bad choices, and we might identify with you and sympathize, but NONE OF THAT will physically help you. Sometimes you just have to DECIDE that your body isn't going to defeat you. You have to DECIDE that your health is MORE IMPORTANT than anything else. You have to fight with your doctor to get the help you need. You have to skip a little bit of comfort on the couch in favor of sweat to feel more energetic later in the day.

IT SUCKS at first. But you know what? After the first couple of weeks, IT GETS EASIER. But you have to START and KEEP AT IT to know that. If you give up before you begin, and buy your own line of BS about why you "can't," then you never will. YOU CAN. Start by changing ONE THING. Do that for a week and change ONE MORE THING. You don't have to start everything at once, but you do have to START, or you'll never get anywhere.

Good luck.

Fantastic post.

Crankstr

I just don't get it.

lambchristie

I hear your cries for help, but you know, I find that what you're looking for must come from you, from within.

You can do this, really. Some have given you suggestions, all good ones .. walk on your lunch break, park further from the door (no matter where you are going...shopping, work, church, any where). Keep the extra steps in they all count as exercise. As does house cleaning, gardening, any thing involving movement.

Google exercises that you can do sitting in a chair. Lots of seniors do them and it helps to build strength in your arms, core, legs, etc.

As for the pre-planned meals ... I'd go with Jenny Craig over Nutri Systems ... JC taste much better.

The more important thing is to remember track every thing you eat. Measure your food. 1 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/4 cup ... teaspoon or tablespoons of a serving. That is when my weight started to drop because it was then when I realized what I thought was a 'serving' turned out to be 1-2 times MORE than it should be.

BTW ... I am almost 58 years old, work, and I go to the gym 5xs a week for an hour. I've lost 31 pounds total and over 14 inches over all in the past 6 months.

You can do it too!

cavia

Losing weight and getting healthy require becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. Exercising when you're out of shape is uncomfortable. Changing decades old eating habits is uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing event. You can take steps towards healthy living. Start counting calories for one or your meals. Or eliminate one unhealthy thing like soda (for me it was whipped creamy pastries). Start taking brisk walks on your lunch and/or your breaks.

If you can't or won't make any changes in your life, then the weight and ill health isn't going to change either. There is no easy way to lose weight and get fit other than to eat at a modest caloric deficit and incorporate regular physical activity.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I've done the working while having lupus thing. It sucks and eventually I had to quit my job. I get that sometimes with chronic illness you just need to vent sometimes. It's ok to feel discouraged, and to feel like you're facing a ton of obstacles that other people don't deal with (they have their own obstacles, but that's another post). But after you get done feeling all that stuff you still have to just get up and do what has to be done.

You don't have to cook healthy meals 100% of the time. You don't have to exercise 2 hours every day. All you have to do is maintain a reasonable calorie deficit. Healthy meals and exercise will help you do that, and if you can work those things in it will really help you, but plenty of people lose weight by just eating smaller portions of the things they were already eating.

What's the alternative? Further harm to the only body you have? Even though chronic illness sometimes causes a love-hate relationship with one's body, if you start treating your body with respect that relationship will get better. Starving yourself isn't the answer. Treating yourself well is. It will make you feel better physically and emotionally.

jmadams111

There are a LOT of good posts in this thread and I can't really add much, but I will say this:

I am 65
I work 10 hrs a day and commute 2 more
I get to the gym 3+ hours a week
I bike another 3-4 hours a week

I do this because I had a heart attack a year ago and WANT to be around long enough to make them change the battery in my pacemaker!

Eating right is no fun, exercising is uncomfortable and only I could choose to do this.

Nuff said?

Steph_in_FL

Why did I post this? Because they deleted the thread on the other forum where everyone was talking about judgmental people

You are all so high and mighty. You don't live my life. You don't know what it's like to lay in bed and cry at night because you are in so much pain simply from working to barely eek out a living.

I don't give a damn anymore if I 'm fat. I'm sick of judgmental *****es.

foleyshirley

Why did I post this? Because they deleted the thread on the other forum where everyone was talking about judgmental people

You are all so high and mighty. You don't live my life. You don't know what it's like to lay in bed and cry at night because you are in so much pain simply from working to barely eek out a living.

I don't give a damn anymore if I 'm fat. I'm sick of judgmental *****es.

What did you want us to say? "Yes, you should definitely starve yourself. It is the only way". I know the other thread you are talking about. I called troll on that one, and I call rroll on you. Best of luck. I truly hope you find your way.

shadow2soul

Why did I post this? Because they deleted the thread on the other forum where everyone was talking about judgmental people

You are all so high and mighty. You don't live my life. You don't know what it's like to lay in bed and cry at night because you are in so much pain simply from working to barely eek out a living.

I don't give a damn anymore if I 'm fat. I'm sick of judgmental *****es.

Wow...um...just wow :noway:

I offered suggestions for you, even showed you a threads with people who are around your age that you could go to for advice and help. If that makes me a "judgmental *****," so be it.

If you truly wanted help you wouldn't be lashing out at people the way that you are. All your post is saying is "poor me, no one understands, everyone should take pity on me." Well I'm sorry, but that's not how life works. A few other posters tried relating to you, but you just don't want to hear it. :grumble:

Fine, Good luck with your life. :drinker:

Donald_Dozier_50

The lesson self-learned that I live by:

You can only lose weight one way and that is to burn more calories than you consume. That is it, the secret, it is that simple. So far so good for me.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Why did I post this? Because they deleted the thread on the other forum where everyone was talking about judgmental people

You are all so high and mighty. You don't live my life. You don't know what it's like to lay in bed and cry at night because you are in so much pain simply from working to barely eek out a living.

I don't give a damn anymore if I 'm fat. I'm sick of judgmental *****es.

I actually do know exactly what that's like. Hopefully when you're feeling a little bit better you'll come back and read through the suggestions you have received and put some of them to use. Good luck to you.

crystalweekes

Not to be harsh but we can't lose the weight for you..
This is something you have to want, and it doesn't sound like you want it bad enough.
You eliminated all the reasonable possible options except surgery.
You don't want to do anything so how can you expect to get results?

WestchesterKB

It sounds cliche but I take it one meal, one snack at a time. I try to make the next food decision the best decision possible. For me the key word is possible. I know not every decision will be the best but I do the best I can in the situation.Don't think about September if it's too much to think about. Think about the rest of the day and plan for tomorrow. Stop there if it feels too overwhelming. You are not doing this alone. Keep reading the boards.

goodtimezzzz

lame...begone

megsmom2

It isn't being judgemental to lay a little honesty on you...you just aren't liking it. Yeah...being where you're at sucks. I get that. But all the whys wherefores and excuses in the world wont change it...you have to do that. You don't have exercise. You don't have to make radical changes in your life and diet. You do have to make a change. Just one. Make it yours. Then make another one. Baby steps...always forward. It wont happen overnight. It wont be easy. But what is your alternative? Staying where you are? Further ruining your health?

PLUMSGRL

account deactivated :frown:

Gwen_B

How bad do you want it? Because the answer is "eat more, exercise more" !!! There isn't any other way!!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

How bad do you want it? Because the answer is "eat more, exercise more" !!! There isn't any other way!!

Not bad enough. Account deactivated.

kaylabrose

Anorexia is a fricken illness, it's not a fad diet. It ruins lifes. Get over yourself and stop having a pit-party.