Asian parents

WilmaDennis91

I know that Asians have a generalized vision of how a woman should be because of their beauty and grace and traditions yada yada. But come on, give me a break. Just ranting lol.

AbsoluteNG

Are you Asian? I couldn't tell.

What are you ranting about though?

ninerbuff

Well you have to defer to the fact that Asians as a culture (outside of the US) don't have an alarming weight issue. Facts don't lie. It will make more sense to you when you hit over 30.

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AbsoluteNG

I know that south Koreans take their weight seriously. Can't get a job there if you're overweight.

JeneticTraining

Everyone has a different perspective on beauty. Be your own person and create your own vision.

meshashesha2012

Everyone has a different perspective on beauty. Be your own person and create your own vision.

this. part of being an adult is knowing when to stop blaming parents for issues and choices that we make in our own lives.

if you dont want to take part in certain traditions or views then woman up and say no.

sam308lbs

An Asian who is fat goes through a gauntlet of judging eyes everyday! I need a break too:grumble:

darrensurrey

An Asian who is fat goes through a gauntlet of judging eyes everyday!

That suspicious look we give everyone is just how our eyes are normally.

Edited for spelling.

Jennvandemark

I am a grown women with my own family and have not lived in my home town in over 15 years. When I go home for a visit it doesn't stop my ate's from stopping me to say hello and then ask " what happen you used to be so pretty but now you are fat". As my mothers daughter and respect I just smile and deal. In one ear out the other. I moved away so don't have to deal with very often but total understand where you are coming from.

cestabbey

I actually live in South Korea right now and I do understand where the OP is coming from. My students constantly have handheld mirrors or their (HUGE! ) smartphones set to camera-mode in order to check themselves out all the time. Thin middle school girls (14/15 years old) tell me they are fat. It's a little disheartening, especially when the boys tell girls they're fat. Or tell each other they're fat.. But I wouldn't make a generalization about all Asian cultures being this way, this is only from my experience in a small, Korean town -- and as a middle and high school teacher, where hormones and egocentrism are arguably at their highest.

SyntonicGarden

I'm guessing this is TOTALLY a cultural thing that folks who aren't exposed to it can't fully comprehend. If you look at it with non-Asian values or filters, it simply doesn't make ANY sense and appears to be downright mean.

I'm 100% "guilo" by birth and STILL not immune to the wrath of the Asian parent. I have a god-sister per southern Chinese traditions. We recently got together and my god-sister's father, who was born and raised in China, had NO problems telling me "It's so nice to see you again. WOW. You've gained soooOOOOOooo much weight since last time I saw you." He's also said "You got so fat." Now mind you, we're talking 25 pounds here. I've been crunching, running as well as using free weights and my legs are more toned, so it's not like it's all wiggly-jiggly bits and muffin top strewn about.

When he walked away, my god-sister and I joked about how that clearly MUST mean I'm officially now part the family. I've been trying not to let it bother me, but man... I couldn't imagine growing up with that 24/7.

Edited: As a side note, I'm only about 25 lbs off of my goal...

valeriewxy

Well, as a Singaporean, I can tell you there's basically only 2 sizes you can be here - skinny & fat. There seems to be no middle ground, which is unfortunate And yes - talking about someone's weight is perfectly acceptable, at work or socially. It's totally ok to ask what size or weight someone is.

WilmaDennis91

Haha yeah, I'm half Filipino and black. So having an Asian mother and sister and friends of friends really criticize my weight. Eh normal, still a cultural thing lol

Jennvandemark

I am half Filipino also and yes it's a culture thing. The part that gets me is in our culture not only do the parents say things but Filipino friends of the family do. At least on my side they do. It's like they have no filter and say what ever pops into their head.

rizmaeram

Everyone that I know tells me "OMG you got bigger..what happened?" i can tell they are disgusted.. my parents too especially my mom always tell me things about my weight. I just ignore her but sometimes i feel bad about it..probably she's concerned bout my health i just think of it that way. and my dad too he doesn't say it to my face but he tells it to my aunts that I'm so big coz i don't do anything just sitting around watching tv that stuff..it may sound verbal abuse or something similar but it's definitely normal in asian household i guess.

ElizabethKalmbach

Hahaha. I lucked out. I'm half Japanese, but my Mother is descended from aboriginal (SUMO wrestlers) stock. Her mother was 5'10 and about 250 lbs. She talks about weight bluntly, but doesn't expect me to be tiny. She married a 6' tall American because he made her feel dainty. ;-)

I'm still supposed to be good at math, though.

PJ64

My wife is Korean, when we went back to Korea after being gone for 7 years, her Mom's first words to her were "Taegeeya" She basically called her a pig and then went on about how "American Food had made her fat & unnatractive"

I'm not sure about saying "All Asians" Thats like saying all Irish are drunks, I'm Irish and have plenty of family that don't even drink let alone get drunk


My wife does fit a few stereotypes though she told our Sons to get A's on their report cards because they are Asian, Not Bsian or Csian!!