I've never been content with my body.

acabrera23

4 years ago, I lost 57 Lbs. I was 227 in 2008. 2009 was my best years for weight loss. I lost 57 lbs in 6 months with the help of phentermine and dieting. I only ate fruit, veggies, turkey, chicken and oatmeal. I would seldom eat anything else. I was desperate to loose weight. I hated my body and I still do. After 4 years, my weight has gone up and down like a yo-yo.

2008 - 227lbs
2009 - 170
2010 - 190
2011 - 175
2012 - 185
2013 - 189

It's really irritating. I know it has everything to do with the fact that I was on phentermine for about 2-3 years and this year I decided to live a healthier life so I haven't been on it since February of this year. I took up boxing/mma which probably added 10 more lbs of muscle to me because I can't seem to get below 180lbs this entire year no matter what I did.

I'm not here to share a fail or success story. I just want to vent because my boyfriend and my family are sick and tired of my whining. Hell I'm sick and tired of my whining. I can't learn to love my body. I just can't. I look at it every morning after I get out of the shower and I feel sick and disgusted with myself when I look in the mirror. I try to find body parts that I do like but it doesn't help. My stupid flubby stomach and monstrous thighs and jiggly back make me so disgusted with my body.

Don't get me wrong just because I hate my body that doesn't mean im not healthy and I don't eat healthy. I'm just tired of not seeing the results I used to see before when I was on phentermine.

Please be easy on me with your comments.