Coworker attempting sabotage...

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  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Sounds like she's just being nice.

    If I wanted to sabotage someone's weight loss I'd recalibrate their food scale or something.

    Not offer to take them to lunch
  • kateauch
    kateauch Posts: 195 Member
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    Yeah, she's aware that I'm trying to eat better.

    Like today I had my salad and went for a walk at lunch and she came back with Carl's Jr, asked if I "was a good girl" and had my salad today to which I said yes.

    Then she offered me french fries.

    I'm so confused!

    Also- I go out with her 1/2 times a week. Our desks are back to back. We see each other quite a bit.
  • Shawshankcan
    Shawshankcan Posts: 900 Member
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    Have you tried suggesting another place to eat at lunch? This is assuming, of course, you want to eat lunch with her.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    It amazes me that as adults, people can't figure out how to deal with every day life.

    Politely say no.
    It's not that hard...seriously...
  • scnurse38
    scnurse38 Posts: 61 Member
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    I have kind of the same situation, I dont have a ton to lose, i started w/ wanting to lose 15 pounds, but the pressure to eat at my job is HUGE! It's noone specific,just soo much food here and noone else thats watching their weight! Its hard to eat my turkey sandwich when everyone else is chowing down on good stuff!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I have yet to hear any evidence of her attempting to sabotage you. Do you realize how difficult it would be for someone else to intentionally sabotage your weight-loss goals? They would have to force you, either against your will or by tricking you, to eat something you didn't want to eat. Wearing down your resolve, that's not sabotage. That's her being stronger than you.

    My guess is that what's happening is that she likes you and just wants to have lunch with you. My advice, if you want her to stop, is to say "Sure, let's go to -" and name some crazy vegan restaurant she'd never go to in a million years.
  • kellykw
    kellykw Posts: 184 Member
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    No thanks is good enough. If you feel like it, you could bring something healthy but yummy and offer to share with her. Maybe she's intimidated by the changes you've made because she doesn't think she is capable of it.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    There's really no way around this. You either solve the problem now or later... but it must be solved, because in the end it's only you putting food into your mouth.

    You are always going to be around people who don't have your health goals in mind. You might go to a party, or holiday dinner with family. Worse, you might be in a place like a sporting event or food court where the companies are TRYING to get you to purchase and eat as much high-calorie addictive junk as possible.

    You'll know that you've made it when you simply don't care anymore.

    I say, view it as a challenge. Can you eat out at a restaurant and still keep a decent calorie goal? Can you go with your friends and order elsewhere? Can you make the food do your bidding instead of the other way around?
  • HealthyLeeLee
    HealthyLeeLee Posts: 97 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Did she do this before you decided to lose weight, or are you just noticing it more now that you are?

    Also, have you let everyone know you are losing weight?
  • kateauch
    kateauch Posts: 195 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)

    Thanks- that's exactly what I was looking for.
  • Christie0428
    Christie0428 Posts: 221 Member
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    I would pick a moment when you are getting along well and bring it up like this:

    "Hey Judy, I'm not sure if you noticed, but I am working really hard to make a lifestyle chage so I can be healthier and feel better. I was wonderign if you would be willing to help me. ... Sometimes I feel tempted if people (do not point to her directly) offer me fried food, candy, etc ... would you be willing to be my partner in this and help me have the will power to turn this stuff down?"

    If she continues to offer you stuff after that ... you kow she is trying to sabotage... and then you can dig in your heels and say no - no guilt ... also I'd be more blunt after that and say, While I appreciate that you want to share, it feels a little like you are sabotaging my efforts by offering me junk.

    I'm guessing more likely she is trying to show affection through food... something a lot of us have been wired to do.

    A couple of jobs ago I used to work in an office where candy and pastries were the everyday all day norm... I started a very strict diet, a few weeks in, I held a very brief stand up team meeting ((I was not the manager)... and said, hey I know you all probably like havign the candy, blah, blah, blah around, I respect that, but I am doign this diet and it would be a lot easier for me to resist if you kept is on your own desks rather than put it in the community meeting table... they were all like, yeah - we don't want to eat this stuff either . ... and stopped bringing it in all together... some even started putting carrots and veggies there instead... the other women I worked with lost weight by association of just not having it around. I was plesantly surprised by their coorporation.. sometimes asking for help is a good way to get others on board w/o them feelign like you are trying to control them.

    Good luck!
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 821 Member
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    Sounds like she's just being nice.

    If I wanted to sabotage someone's weight loss I'd recalibrate their food scale or something.

    Not offer to take them to lunch

    Giggle @ recalibrating someones scale!
  • MrsMohawk
    MrsMohawk Posts: 74 Member
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    If she is a " close co- worker friend" Why not tell her how your feeling about what shes doing.
  • Mommybug2
    Mommybug2 Posts: 149 Member
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    Be very candid - but polite. This happens to me ALL the time at work. People bring doughnuts/candy around and offer it freely to anyone. I laugh and say "I didn't just do 45 minutes on the ellipical to eat a doughnut!" Or if it is before lunch I'll say something like "No thanks - I'd have to take a long lunch to get that back off my thighs at the gym". Lots of people here go to lunch as well and I am often asked to join them. My standard reply is "Sorry I have a date with the gym" or "Brought my own, thanks". As the weeks have worn on and I've stuck to my guns I get a lot less offers and more people applauding my committment.

    Sabotage can work both ways too. If you feel she is pushing her bad habits on you maybe you should start pushing your good habits on her. Start asking her to do things with you. Inviting her to walk with you at lunch is a great start :)
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)

    Thanks- that's exactly what I was looking for.


    Why? this is totally unlike what's going on with you.
  • mandylgibbs
    mandylgibbs Posts: 185 Member
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    I just smile and say, "No thank you. I'm on a very specific diet. I've done so well, and I've already lost quite a bit of weight. Want to see my progress pictures.?"

    They stop asking really quickly if they're coming from a place of jealousy.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)

    Thanks- that's exactly what I was looking for.


    Why? this is totally unlike what's going on with you.

    DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
  • MudRunLvr
    MudRunLvr Posts: 226 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)

    Thanks- that's exactly what I was looking for.


    Why? this is totally unlike what's going on with you.

    Because it validates her feelings and is the answer she wanted to hear. Most of us were just annoying her with our nonsense about the woman probably just being nice to her.
  • kateauch
    kateauch Posts: 195 Member
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    I've experienced this with my super skinny in-laws. My hubby and I started eating healthier and let them know and we got the, "it's a holiday/special occasion! indulge!" (and were sending us home with ALL the leftovers to "get it out of their house")but I realized while we were eating all this fatty/sugary/buttery food they cooked, they were making healthy stuff on the side for themselves and not even eating the foods they prepared for us to eat! They didn't even offer us the healthier foods either. I felt like I was being sabotaged. Whether they were sabotaging us or not, I've gotten better about politely refusing, bringing my own dishes and going to their house with a game-plan with the hubs beforehand ;)

    Thanks- that's exactly what I was looking for.


    Why? this is totally unlike what's going on with you.

    "Who else has had to deal with this? "

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