My Little PITA

jonesdav254

Let me start by saying that by my reference to PITA I am NOT referring to "Flat hollow unleavened bread that can be split open to hold a filling” My reference is to a "Pain in the *kitten*" (and extending down into my upper leg).

My discomfort and intermittent pain in my left glut and upper hamstring is slightly less today. This is partially because I was successfully able to convince my wife to give me a massage to help with the pain and soreness. Even after almost 27 years of marriage, it can be slightly challenging to be taken seriously when you ask to have you "butt and upper leg rubbed" and there is no "alternative meaning or intent". So, I've found that being more Formal with my request is more effective.

For example: "Pardon me my most lovely wife. I am deeply burned and mortified by the fires of unhallowed shame. However, the circumstances are such that the tremulous sensitivities of my nerve synapse are acutely attuned to the pain receptors of my neural cortex. I would be most gracious if you would ingratiate me through myofascial release that involves the application of a topical salicylate to my the gluteus maximus muscle, gluteus medius muscle and gluteus minimus muscle as well as my biceps femoris, semitendinousus and semimembranosus.”

This manner of requesting help tends to be MUCH more accepted than the informal request of: "Hey wifey-poo, how about you rub some Aspercreme on my butt cheek and upper leg?"

Yeah...just a tip for the "younger" guys out there.

maab_connor