My Journey

Dewdropps

I wanted to take a moment to post, because I think my road would have been so much better if I had seen something like this way back when.


I've always thought of myself as FAT. Always self conscious, always hating myself for being fat. I didn't go down the road to an eating disorder as simple as purging or anorexia, but maybe the one I did end up with was far worse as it wasn't conscious.


This is me 10 years ago, right after I had my first daughter (I was 145 lbs) :




I felt like a beached whale, and thought I looked like one too, which is why this picture is cut off where it was, so nobody could identify it as a picture of ME.. I was so embarrassed! I crumpled the picture (you can see the marks from that). Not sure how it survived these 10 years without being tossed completely, but now I am glad it didn't.


This one is me 3 years ago:





I was around 190 here, but I felt no fatter or more horrific looking than I did in the first picture. If you had asked me at that time, I would have said I had always been this fat, because I always felt like it. I never compared pics for proof etc...



I don't have one to show for from right now, but I am 229 lbs, so you can use your imagination based on these pics.


The point of this post is... Take the time to tell people they look great, even if they don't seem to need to be told. They could appear to have all the confidence in the world, but they just might feel like I did on the inside. Not one person ever told me I looked good or even decent, in fact, the one and only thing my ex husband ever told me about my looks is "You will NEVER get as big as my ex or we'll have problems"


I'm much happier without him (my choice to leave haha), I have an amazing man beside me now who tells me I am beautiful and makes me feel beautiful daily.

Sometimes it's not the number on the scale, it's the mindset of the person.

The top picture is my motivator. My reminder of everything that's happened over the last 10 years to bring me to this point, and I WILL get to that weight again


Thanks for reading

Heather

Uselessly_Irrelevant

I felt no fatter or more horrific looking than I did in the first picture. If you had asked me at that time, I would have said I had always been this fat, because I always felt like it.

I have the same problem. I mean, I can look at my old pictures and tell I look thinner but at that time I felt like Jabba the Hutt - so it wasn't really any leap to let myself get fatter.

The hard part is going to be seeing yourself as you really are and being comfortable in your skin. I don't have a whole lot of suggestions in that realm. Take lots of pictures (i'm a hypocrite, I don't take progress pictures)

I said that same to someone else earlier, but faking confidence really has boosted my confidence tremendously. I work at a bar, and I flirt and waggle and be generally inappropriate and I feel so much more comfortable with myself now at 186lbs than I did in high school at 120.

Thanks for sharing this, I know it must have been hard.

BTW, that kittens belly is SO cute I wanna rub my face in it.

Dewdropps

BTW, that kittens belly is SO cute I wanna rub my face in it.

That kitten would sleep literally anywhere in any position lol. I miss having kitties