Life with roomies

supersarah14

Warning: Vent ahead. :explode:

I live with 3 other people and I'm the only one restricting my calorie intake and exercising. I have a heard time with will power (i.e. I have basically none) so I just stay away from bad-for-me-food in general. BUT I can't do that at home which is frustrating me. I only ever buy fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean proteins so I'm not tempted because I have a tendency to snack while I'm at home. However, living with 3 other people means that I'm not the only one putting food into my fridge.

I can't tell you how hard it is when I decide to have grilled chicken and veggies for dinner and then see my roomies noshing on bags of chips, fried chicken, cakes etc. I have tried talking to them about how much harder it is for me to stick to a plan when everyone around me is eating food I can't have. They just tell me that while they support my efforts, that it isn't fair for me to ask them to change their eating habits just to make it easy for me. I understand and I agree but it still doesn't solve anything.

I feel like my will power is being tested every time I eat a meal and it is exhausting. I'm trying to think of it as strengthening my "resistance muscle" but I'm not gonna lie, it's starting to get old real fast.:ohwell: Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

khskr1

think of it like this...if you didn't buy their bad food, then you are stealing their food! Kinda a little mind trick but that's what I have to do when someone brings in bad stuff to work!! I tell myself that I am "stealing" their food they bought.

HealthyKt78

I had a similar problem when I lived with roommates (now I'm back at home for summer). Luckily for me we all ate relatively healthy and were always talking about food and exercise. Maybe you guys can all make a healthy meal together. Pick a meal that you think they'll love and let them know how healthy it is. Maybe it will make them healthier and maybe it won't but you'll have a roommate bonding session out of it. Just stay strong. Maybe you can ask them not to eat stuff like that when you're around.

popplylily

oh dear.. i see it both ends of the arguement... and living with family or roomies can be so hard. its so unfair cos you see how other girls can pile on cheese drink beer everyday and eat crap all the time yet they dont put on. i had a malaysian roomie who looked like pcahontas.. a tiny 54kg and could eat a whole 12 pack of crisps after going out every wk as well as everything else! she ate like 4 burgers in an evening. totally unfair! made me paranoid and i avoided eating altogether for a while..
i hear your frustration but its hard to say what the solution is. other than succomb for now but restrict how much of it you eat, or have a dinner together a couple of times a wk but workout and add veg to yours? just a suggestion. stop you feeling soo depreived..xxx

ChellieIrish

Hi there :drinker:

I've been in that boat before I spoke to my buddies and while it's not fair to ask them to change their eating habits .. you could keep your food separate from theirs

What we came up with was that we each had a cupboard for own food which of course could be shared :bigsmile: but since they were junk food addicts lol I got the bottom of the fridge for salad and veggies (the drawer) and then one of the shelves in the main part

I have to say tho I shared with guys and they were very understanding :bigsmile: plus I used to cook a nice meal once a week as a thanks to them or bought them a few beers lol :laugh:

Maybe if it bothers you that much you could go out for a walk when they take out their snacks or maybe go to your room to read a mag/book for 20 mins or so :flowerforyou:

lilchino4af

My first thought was to buy a mini fridge or mini freezer to store your own food in your room, but them cost might be an issue so that's out. And then I saw ChellieIrish's post and agree with her suggestion of each picking one cabinet as your own to segregate your non-perisables so that you don't "see" their's (unless, of course they happen to be eating it :laugh: ). Try the same for the fridge; that would be a great compromise, as well as cooking a dinner for them once a week and NOT telling them how healthy it is (sometimes telling someone it's healthy for them that doesn't want healthy can be a turn off and have the opposite effect). They might find they like your cooking meals for them and might start asking or helping you cook meals more often and you can slowly get them from junk food dinners to healthy, well-rounded dinners that everyone can benefit from. Not to mention it brings the "family" closer

supersarah14

As much as I would LOVE to have a designated area in the fridge and cabinets it just isn't possible. We have such limited space its ridiculous. Two of my roommates are married (actually its my cousin and his wife) and they buy A LOT of food. I'm talking crazy amounts. I've tried talking to them about the fact that we have limited space and that it would be considerate of them to, instead of buys 6 different bags of chips and taking up a whole shelf, to buy one or two so everyone else can have room too. But it just goes one ear and out the other.

I literally have to stuff my food in the fridge and shelves if I want my food there and not on the kitchen counters.

casshole

oh I so know how you feel, in fact, im in a similar situation. It can be hard. I guess the best advice I can offer you is to keep your food as seperate as possible from your roomates, preferably so you dont even need to glance at the junk food to get to yours. If possible, try to eat at different times than them, or maybe (as mentioned previously) go for a walk when they eat. My roomates are an overweight couple and their two kids. They brag about how they are doing so well with their eating habits, but they are actually doing a poor job...eating 500 calories for 2 days, then binging on pizza on the third. It may be a bit evil, but watching their eating habits and lack of excersize is motivation because they are gaining weight and Im losing it and feels great. So maybe in your case, if your roomies are a bit overweight, this could be motivation. But thats not always the case. Just dont restrict yourself to the point that you cave and eat a 5,000 calorie feast in one day. Good Luck! :flowerforyou: ~Cassie

aippolito1

I went through the same thing last summer. I roomed with a mutual friend and her boyfriend and the girl told me she was excited because she wanted to get back into working out and eating healthier and we could keep each other accountable. I agreed to buy the first month's groceries and told her specifically, I'm only buying healthy stuff, if you want junk food, YOU pay for it. She said, Okay, fine! Then the boyfriend got home, saw the fridge, huffed and puffed, went to Sam's and bought big bags of french fries, corny dogs, pizza bagels, chips and soda. And of course ate all my food too. P!SSED me off.

supersarah14

oh I so know how you feel, in fact, im in a similar situation. It can be hard. I guess the best advice I can offer you is to keep your food as seperate as possible from your roomates, preferably so you dont even need to glance at the junk food to get to yours. If possible, try to eat at different times than them, or maybe (as mentioned previously) go for a walk when they eat. My roomates are an overweight couple and their two kids. They brag about how they are doing so well with their eating habits, but they are actually doing a poor job...eating 500 calories for 2 days, then binging on pizza on the third. It may be a bit evil, but watching their eating habits and lack of excersize is motivation because they are gaining weight and Im losing it and feels great. So maybe in your case, if your roomies are a bit overweight, this could be motivation. But thats not always the case. Just dont restrict yourself to the point that you cave and eat a 5,000 calorie feast in one day. Good Luck! :flowerforyou: ~Cassie

That is EXACTLY where I am!!! Except for the 2 kids part. I'm trying to stay out of the house when they do make stuff like that. Oh well. Hopefully, fingers crossed, they'll find a place soon!!

junebug523

I completely understand how you feel. You don't want to step on their toes and make them feel like they ought to change their habits--but at the same time, the presence of all of those goodies are distracting you from your goals.

You can only control you, so what about making a practice of looking at the situation from a new angle? Maybe instead of looking at their food as food you "can't" have--look at it as food you simply choose not to eat. Because the food you are choosing instead is making you feel better, giving you more energy, and improving your overall health.

This is what I've been doing. My husband loves to nosh on treats, especially in the evenings and on weekends, and I used to join him most of the time in a bowl of ice cream, freshly baked cookies, etc.. When I first came to MFP, this was a little distracting to me. But as soon as I realized I didn't want to make him feel like he couldn't eat those things just because I'm not anymore, I chose to intentionally change my attitude. Much as I would love for him to join me in eating more healthily, I'm not going to make him do it on my timeline.

So, I don't worry about his eating choices anymore-- at least as far as they affect me and my journey. I choose to eat things that make me feel good, give me energy throughout the day, support me when I exercise, and help me sleep better at night. And the more I internalize how this healthier food is making me healthier and stronger, the less I'm tempted by his snacks.

The funny thing? Over the past couple of weeks, I've been noticing him making better choices throughout the day, too--and when I chose to have a treat this weekend, he followed my lead in having a smaller serving of ice cream than usual.

It can be very frustrating, but your health and goals are worth so much more than chips and fried chicken! Stay strong--and if you feel like you simply must give into your cravings, do it and don't beat yourself up over it. Just get back on track right away.

supersarah14

:happy: You're right Junebug, it does have to be a choice! Thanks! :flowerforyou:

00trayn

I hear ya on the storage space problems in a kitchen. I shared an apartment with 2-3 girls for 2 years of college and the first year we barely had any cabinet space. We split the fridge up into shelves but when we moved in and divided up the cabinet space, I didn't get any... My solution was to buy a canvas bin or two and store all of my dry goods on the shelf of my closet in my room. It helped me keep my food separate, and people wouldn't eat my food (a chronic problem in the apartment that year). If you have the space in your room, maybe try that? Or a bin you can slide under your bed for food. Also, you can grab your healthy snacks right in your room without having to be tempted by what's in the kitchen.

hepkitty

I'm in a similar situation again...I live with 3 others, my husband and another couple. My husband has actually got on board with the weight loss thing so it could be worse...but we all do food together so any food in the house is up for grabs..

The other couple don't eat like total crap but they do eat ice cream, cookies, etc etc every day. And she loves to bake so every other day she's in the kitchen making the whole house smell like fresh baked cookies.

My three pieces of advice that help me get through it are:

- Practice saying no whenever you don't want any, cos sometimes you don't taste for ice cream when they're having some, so you can get your practice in at saying no, and then it becomes a habit...

- think positively about how healthy you are, rather than how lucky they are to be able to indulge in crap

- if you really do want some of what they're having, let yourself have a small portion and really try to savour it. I do this with ice cream..if they're eating it and I want some, I'll have a small bowl (like 1/4 - 1/2 cup compared to their 1-1.5 cups) with no toppings and try and finish after they do by REALLY savouring it.

Some really good pieces of other advice here, like trying to think of it as their food and therefore off-limits. Good luck!

breakingthepath

My roommates are my parents (broke college kid out for the summer) and it's been interesting. Dad is on the skinnier side but struggles to keep the beer belly at bay. For the most part he succeeds. Mom is at 275 and makes halfhearted attempts to lessen the problem. Halfhearted doesn't work too well for her because she has diabetes and no thyroid. Dad was eager to put the kibosh on KFC and Papa Murphys, so he had no problem letting me take over meal planning. I cook a lot of Japanese and Italian stuff because she doesn't realize that most of it is diet food.

Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays suck. Most of my friends are bigger than I am and have a low opinion on diets. They respect being vegetarian more than they respect being on a diet so I tell them that I've given up eating fuzzies. The fuzzies aren't actually gone from my diet yet but they will be soon.

smae1980

They respect being vegetarian more than they respect being on a diet so I tell them that I've given up eating fuzzies. The fuzzies aren't actually gone from my diet yet but they will be soon.

fuzzies=meat? hahahaha! never heard that before!