Body Dismorphia

micabrito2012

Well, I have never weighed over 200 lbs until I was in my 30's so guess what? In my mind I don't think I'm fat or overweight. It's not until I try and play sports or I take pictures and see them later. Then I realize that I am huge! I get all synical about it and go all out trying to get where I was and slowly go back to my old eating habits. I truley look in the mirror and do not think I am over weight!!!! I think that qualifies as body dismorphic disorder. I have lost weight before and am totally happy at a certain weight but now that i weigh 212 I notice my knees are bad, my sex is bad, my light of life is dimming but I'm not fat!!!!!

I started MFP Jan of 2012 I think and I have relapsed many times and I hope to one day "click" and stick to something and learn to accept that I am overweight and that I am doing the right thing and that I need to continue.I just have this problem that I'm trying to sort out. I have been trying to come to terms with my weight and that I am over a healthy limit it just has taken me longer than I've liked. Keep your head up I think we have to realize we are beautiful people inside and out and we need to find something that really pushes our want button!

I want to be healthy when I look in the mirror and know that I am healthy inside and out! I want to see a lean peace of meat!
Right now I see a Double Quarter Pounder W/Cheese W/Large Fry and Large Dr.Pepper sure looks good on the menu but feels horrible when coming out! lol Good luck!

ReinasWrath

oh yeah I'm like that too. Some very rare days I think I look good but on most other days I almost feel more disgusted than ever. I'm always grabbing the pudge on my thighs and stomach and telling myself I am still gross. I am not really sure how I look in real life? My two perspectives of myself are so different I don't know which one is the trick my mind is playing. I mean I know I still have a decent amount of work left to do either way but I'm not sure how obvious that is. And I've got people on both sides saying either "oh you've lost a lot of weight you look nice" and people who say "well you're still pretty fat". :laugh: Guess I just need to keep working till I feel confident no matter what.

DebbieMc3

I have BD as well. I'm working on it everyday. A few weeks ago someone said to me "well you skinny girls don't get my struggles". I was like "skinny???". Then two days ago I saw a picture of a bunch of friends at a party and I thought to myself "who is that? She has a great waist and butt." It was me. I was shocked. The brain is very powerful.

Ironandwine69

I look myself in the mirror and think " god damn look at that hot piece of *kitten*"....then I take my clothes off and it turns into " *kitten*, where did this roll come from".

It happens. We are our worst judges at times.

rednote49

Dig out some of your old clothes like pants or jeans. Especially the ones that were really tight. Put those on to remind yourself how far you've come. You may not have pics but you do have clothes.

Morgaen73

It took my brain y ears to catch up to my body and I'm still not sure it has quite caught up. I still think twice before sitting on a plastic chair (broke a few of those) and tight spaces stress me out even though I fit through them.

Give it time. You will get there

Smaya29

I feel you. I lost 17 pounds but I still feel like I'm at my starting weight of 172 lbs. I see women who are about 180-200 lbs and I feel like that's exactly how I look like. Every day is a struggle. Then I get so depressed that I fall off the wagon for a few months. It's constantly messing with my head.
The only comfort I get is when I feel my clothes are not such a tight fit like before. but I detest looking in the mirror. It makes me want to cry.
I just hope that when I reach 120 lbs (my lowest weight before having Irish twins) I would feel better.

artbyrachelh

I think I am a little like this. Though when I was at my heaviest I didn't see it in the mirror. I thought I looked great! I thought I was fine!

Ghostofachance

I struggle with this all of the time. When I was at my thinnest, I would pore over every flaw in the mirror. When I was at my heaviest, I struggled to reconcile the person I saw in photos/in the mirror was me. Even today, I was feeling pretty good about myself this morning, then saw a recent picture someone took of me on Facebook and it really threw me for a loop. I know I am working out, losing some weight and feeling stronger, but all I saw in the photo was a fat guy standing around a group of "average" people.

IsabeausRose

BD and eating disorders go hand in hand quite a lot. And I'm absolutely positive I'm not the only one on this site who has suffered from one. Anorexia and bulimia aren't the only forms eating disorders take. Overweight people can get them too. From emotional eating, to compulsive eating. And the common binge eating. It's been a 25 year struggle for me and the BD never has gotten any better, it will never go away for me. But I'm in my 40s now and I've made enough mistakes from listening to that dismorphia to tell what's the healthiest for me and what's just me wanting to be thinner and thinner and thinner. There is a difference between choosing to have healthy thoughts or letting what you see in a mirror determine what a healthy weight for you should be. I made a promise to myself not to go below a certain weight no matter what I saw in the mirror. I want to have a healthy body and also a healthy mind. I'm too *kitten* old to care about being the thinnest or fitting into those size 6 jeans. The doctor says I'm at a healthy weight and that's fine with me. I'm 5'11.5" with a BMI of 24.3.

getoffin1year

Ive lost 80lvs and its only starting to register now. Hang in there.

timtam163

Yup. When I was heavier I was more in denial and thought that was how my body was supposed to look; now I realize how much bigger my love handles were, but when I see a hint of them now (of course a little will always be there) I think my body shape hasn't changed a bit.

Measurements and other NSVs help.

SarahR2412

Awww Hun. I know what your saying, I'm 95lbs down and totally get where your coming from! It's hard and it does get better xxx good luck xxxx

AudreyJDuke

I, too, struggle with this. Thanks so much for such an honest discussion.

Shull_rachael

My family swears I have it. I went to a plastic surgery to change somethings I didn't like(on my face). He wanted to know who told me I was ugly and suggested counseling rather than surgery. I don't see what other people see it's really frustrating.

dancefit2015

I struggled with this when I was underweight several years ago. I thought I was fat and I thought that my friends/family were lying to me when they told me otherwise. Over the past few years I gained some, lost some, and gained some more and it only got worse. I hated myself so much. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep over my weight. About 4 months ago I reached my heaviest (213lbs), but I had better role models in my life and I did a lot of work on my mentality. I spent months telling myself that I was beautiful, I followed a ton of body-positive posts online and tried to see myself the way my boyfriend did. Now, I am at point that I am actually confident and I love and care for my body. It takes a lot of work mentally but I honestly think people can retrain their minds and be happy.
I've lost 15 lbs since my heaviest and I plan to keep going but I am doing it for the right reasons now.

okohjacinda

dawnmg81 wrote: »

Anyone else suffer with body dismorphia? I still have a long ways to go with my weight loss journey but have lost 60 lbs so far. I look in the mirror and see no difference. I still see the ginormous obese mommy that I was when I started this journey. I am still obese, but I ma sure parts of me are smaller after losing 60 lbs. I hear compliments from people on my weight loss but always feel as though they are just saying it to try and be nice since most people know i am trying to lose weight. I dont feel like they actually see the difference.

Is it normal to feel like this? I didnt really take any before pictures (which i regret hugely) so i cant really go back and look at comparisons between 6 months ago and now.

Yes it is definitely normal. Please do not do this to yourself. I have been there like only a year ago. I lost 80lbs (within 1.5 years) and did not see any change even though everyone was saying how small I was getting. To me, I still looked big, I still felt I had a humongous stomach (even though it had decreased considerably), and that I wasn't really turning out how I pictured in my head.

Not too long after that, I gained all the weight back and now I am fighting to lose it once again with high blood pressure from the fast weight gain.

One thing I realized as I was going through the photos of me at my smallest, that I could finally see the difference. I think had I kept going and not let my mind get the best of me, I would be at goal today.

Please take progress pics starting now because over time you will see the difference. It takes a while for your brain to catch up with your body, but if you keep at it, you will see a significant change.

This time around, I am much much kinder to my body. I know that I have a long way to go, but I must remain positive in order to get through this journey.

So please be positive, take pics and keep at it. Take pride in the little changes even if its just an inch off your waist or shirt size down. Everything counts!

And the scale is not the best indicator of the changes going on in your body. Pictures and taking measurements are the best indicator especially as a woman.

13bbird13

For me, pictures are the enemy. When I'm going about my daily life I feel okay about my weight... I do little "tests", like right now I'm sitting in my office chair and I can see plenty of chair on both sides of my thighs, so how bad can it be, right? I wear Size 10 pants. Not my ideal size, but I'm working on it. I drive a small hatchback and find it very comfortable. Most of my t-shirts are mediums.

Then I posed with a friend's family for a photo of their kid graduating high school last spring, and she sent me a copy. I almost died. I couldn't believe that enormous person standing with them was me!! My head is this little thing on top of this big body. I look like a snowman. I honestly felt like I ruined the picture just by being in it. That's when I started wondering if BD might be part of my problem. Both of those self-perceptions can't be real; one of them must be wrong.

VeggieBarbells

dawnmg81 wrote: »

Anyone else suffer with body dismorphia? I still have a long ways to go with my weight loss journey but have lost 60 lbs so far. I look in the mirror and see no difference. I still see the ginormous obese mommy that I was when I started this journey. I am still obese, but I ma sure parts of me are smaller after losing 60 lbs. I hear compliments from people on my weight loss but always feel as though they are just saying it to try and be nice since most people know i am trying to lose weight. I dont feel like they actually see the difference.

Is it normal to feel like this? I didn't really take any before pictures (which i regret hugely) so i cant really go back and look at comparisons between 6 months ago and now.

Start taking pictures today, it was the best thing I ever did. Nothing focuses your mind than a 'before picture'. You have two choices when reviewing 'before' pictures. Go back to where you were(or worse) or stop the rot and continue to create the new you.

To your point - Do others only see the fatter person? Of course they do, I hear that all the time. However patience, determination and sheer hard grit, turns the old you, into the new you. #MakeItHappen

ryenday

13bbird13 wrote: »

For me, pictures are the enemy. When I'm going about my daily life I feel okay about my weight... I do little "tests", like right now I'm sitting in my office chair and I can see plenty of chair on both sides of my thighs, so how bad can it be, right? I wear Size 10 pants. Not my ideal size, but I'm working on it. I drive a small hatchback and find it very comfortable. Most of my t-shirts are mediums.

Then I posed with a friend's family for a photo of their kid graduating high school last spring, and she sent me a copy. I almost died. I couldn't believe that enormous person standing with them was me!! My head is this little thing on top of this big body. I look like a snowman. I honestly felt like I ruined the picture just by being in it. That's when I started wondering if BD might be part of my problem. Both of those self-perceptions can't be real; one of them must be wrong.

I totally understand-I think I’m looking ok, and the scale goes down a bit so then I take a photo. All the photo shows me is how bad it is. Something is messed up.