Life and death decisions

13

Replies

  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    I think every person has the right to decide what they do with their body and their life.

    As for what I'd consider a good way to go... sexual exhaustion.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    ^^
    But say you couldn't actually kill yourself, and your doctor refused to end your life because felt it was against his moral or religious beliefs, should your partner/friend be prosectued for ending your life?

    Should we have a right to end the life of a loved one if they ask us to?
  • PerrBear45
    PerrBear45 Posts: 2
    I would want to have that choice, definitely. I wish more states would follow Oregon and Washington with the "right to die" with the help of a doctor if you are terminally ill. When we have one of our pets get old or sick, the humane thing is to end their lives as humanely as possible... I definitely want that same option when it's my time to leave this planet...
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    ^^
    But say you couldn't actually kill yourself, and your doctor refused to end your life because felt it was against his moral or religious beliefs, should your partner/friend be prosectued for ending your life?

    Should we have a right to end the life of a loved one if they ask us to?

    Um, theres paper work for that.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    ^^
    But say you couldn't actually kill yourself, and your doctor refused to end your life because felt it was against his moral or religious beliefs, should your partner/friend be prosectued for ending your life?

    Should we have a right to end the life of a loved one if they ask us to?

    Um, theres paper work for that.

    Depends what state or country you are in. Thank you for providing such detailed and considerate answers to my questions.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    This thought has crossed my mind several times.

    My SO and I have agreed that we'd both wish to not suffer through pain very long, and would like to go quickly and painlessly - preferably in our sleep. Also I'm an organ donor, I'd need to go in a way that would preserve my innards.

    I've watched too many family members wither away in hospital beds for weeks at a time, begging me to kill them because they couldn't stand the pain any more.
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
    I'd want to go quick and painless, we put animals to sleep when they can't do any more for them to stop them suffering so why can't humans have the same rights

    This! It's considered inhumane to let an animal suffer yet we let people suffer?

    I'd prefer to be overdosed on morphine -- just put me to sleep
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I've already told all my family that if I am in a vegetative state, state of severe pain where I cannot reply with my own conciousness, etc..etc.. that I want to be let go. Doesn't really matter to me if its tomorrow, or when I'm 90...

    I also have it in my will that my funeral will be the absolute cheapest possible method available to them..hell, I'd let them put me on a raft and burn me if that were allowed. (Yea, i've seen alot of death, and seen alot of "debt" created as a result due to this)...

    I want my passing to be simple, easy, and without a bunch of unneeded drama.
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
    I have expressed my desires...but I ALSO have stated that I will not ask someone to violate their own moral conscience
    if they feel they cannot do so.

    Not dropping the ball in their lap, because I've talked to my spouse about it, but in the end.....
    I'll be dead...and off to glory....
    and they must live with the decision they make....I just trust they will make it with a clear conscience before God.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Quick survey for my university work:

    In you old age, would you be interested in deciding how you die? If you were suffering from a terminal illness and experienced intolerable pain throughout your day, would you want a doctor to end your life?

    What would you consider a “good death”? Quick and painless? Perhaps at home and surrounded by the people you love?
    Just for others: would your answer be different if you weren't in pain, but your quality of life was poor and degrading (you cannot eat or enjoy food, stand or walk, wash yourself or need others to clean your entire body)?

    Abso-freakin-lutely! I've seen loved ones die slowly of terminal illnesses and there's no way I would want to put myself or my loved ones through that. Ideally, I'd love to have a big party (before I get too sick) with all my loved ones, tell most that I'm going on a trip or something lovely like that, tell a close few the truth and go get euthenized.

    Quality of life is the major thing for me but I also wouldn't want to be a burden. I'm a very independent person and the thought of not being able to do things for myself is one of the things that motivates me to continue on with the weight loss struggle. Seeing elderly people who can barely walk breaks my heart. While I may not be the healthiest person, I've given up most of my vices, hit the gym or pavement almost every day and feed my body well so I can keep moving.

    Then again, this is all assuming I'm on my own when I'm at that point. I wouldn't stick around to the bitter end for my husband's sake but I'd stay around as long as I could if he asked me to.
  • trulycrazed
    trulycrazed Posts: 79 Member
    I believe assisted suicide is natural, normal and, in many ways, a wonderful blessing to the person suffering. Ailing animals in the wild have the benefit of predators to take them out when they are ill, old or incapable of carrying on.

    When and if I get to the point in which I am incapable of taking care of myself, remembering my own name or enjoying my existence at all... I want to be taken to a beautiful field where I can lay down in the grass and pass on (assisted or self induced).

    Within the last two years I witnessed the physical and mental break down of my grandparents, and if they would have asked for assistance in ending it... I would have helped without a second thought.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    I haven't read all of the other answers yet but wanted to answer this question because of what I have experienced myself over the last 8/10 years.

    As background for my end of life decisions, both my father and father-in-law were diagnosed and eventually died from complications of Alzheimer's Disease. My mother-in-law has advanced Dementia brought on by extreme toxicity to heart medication and is now in a nursing home. My mother has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, and is just barely hanging on in Assisted Living.

    In light of the extreme dementia that I have been dealing with as caretaker for 4 elderly people, and the most difficult health decisions that I have had to make for them, I have informed my family of my end of life decision. If I ever become incapable of caring for myself because of advanced dementia that I do not want any extreme measures taken to keep me alive. I want no CPR, Resuscitation, tube feeding or any other unnatural means to prolong my life.

    Watching both my father and father-in-law go from healthy, active, strong men to bed ridden helpless 200lb infants, has been the most excruciating pain that I have ever felt. I do NOT want to put my children and grandchildren through that. I have watched my mother-in-law go from a giving, loving soft spoken sweet lady to an angry, violent, hostile, foul mouthed shrew. I am watching my mother go from a strong, active intelligent women to a child who can not even pick out the right clothes to wear or remember to eat or pay a bill. This is not how I want my life to end, if I have any say, which of course I do not.

    The perfect death for me would be sitting my my favorite chair reading a book and my heart stops, just gives out and allows me to leave this world with some dignity.

    As far as living the remainder of your life in extreme pain, I do think you should be allowed to refuse treatment and allowed to die if there is no hope for recovery. And yes I think your spouse or family should be allowed to help you end your life if that is your choice without fear of prosecution.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    In my opinion, no one who is not both elderly and in constant pain could answer this question with any accuracy as regards the decision they would actually make were they in that situation.

    Yes, it's hypothetical, but doesn't the idea of severe dementia, for example, make you think about it at all?

    I feel the decision is MINE, and the only reasons that matter are MINE. Doesn't matter if I am old or not, it's a matter of quality of life. Nobody else has the right to make that decision for me; not my family, not the law.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    In my opinion, no one who is not both elderly and in constant pain could answer this question with any accuracy as regards the decision they would actually make were they in that situation.

    You are so wrong, if you walked in my shoes for the last 8/10 years you would be able to make this decision very easily. I know exactly what I want and have provided legal papers for my family of my end of life decisions.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    Hard to say because I'm not in that position right now, but I think that I would rather not be able to make my own decision. I am of the opinion that you never know how your life affects others - I'm a fighter and would fight to the end.
    That said, if you asked me after a significant period of a particularly painful illness, I might change my mind!


    ^^^ This. I have no idea what I would want because I am not in that position. I feel like I don't know what I would really choose until I am placed in that position. I would say that I prefer the easy way out because being in pain scares me. But I have been in pain before and I fight through it.
    So I can't really say....

    My grandmother was in this position 2 years ago. She was dying. She had a tube in her lungs to help her breathe because she couldn't do it herself. Everyone came to visit her and she saw her whole family. One night she felt she had seen everyone and had said her goodbyes. She, as weak as she was, pulled the tube out herself. The doctors/nurses called my dad and asked what to do and he said to let her be. That was the hardest decision I think he ever had to make. He went straight over to the hospital with 2 of my aunts and another uncle and they sat there with her till she passed.
    I respect her decision. She didn't want to live unable to do anything and hooked up to a machine.


    I hope your Dad has peace over his decision, he respected his mothers wishes and that is a beautiful way for her life to end. She chose and she was ready, bless your father for giving that to her in her last hours.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    Had so many great replies, thank you to everyone who has responded so far.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    how scientific is this study for university work? lol you naming MFP as your source?
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    how scientific is this study for university work? lol you naming MFP as your source?

    Not sure if srs, but I didn't say it was a study, I said it was a "quick survey" which implies a degree of informality. And no, I will not reference MFP. *Borat voice* Have Nice Day.
  • missybct
    missybct Posts: 321 Member
    Quick survey for my university work:

    In you old age, would you be interested in deciding how you die? If you were suffering from a terminal illness and experienced intolerable pain throughout your day, would you want a doctor to end your life?

    What would you consider a “good death”? Quick and painless? Perhaps at home and surrounded by the people you love?

    Yes. I've always been interested in the control over my own death, but I have attempted suicide in the past, so my perception may be skewered. However, I do believe there should be a right for a terminally or chronically ill person to have the control over whether they live or die - will it become legal? Probably not, because there will incur loopholes. Those who suffer from mental health may argue that they have the right to die too because mental illness symptoms are so utterly debilitating and manifests physically that given the chance they would take the opportunity too. The problem lies with this in that mental illness can be recoverable.

    A good death? I don't think there is ever such a thing. Quick and painless for who? For the victim, but certainly not for the family. It's perverse, if the death preceded by a long illness, the family are usually prepared and the victim frightened and in pain/distress. If it's quick and painless, the victim knows nothing about it but the family live with guilt or intensified grief and anger, injustice etc. They can happen in both though.

    Morally? The right to die should be allowed. Legally? I doubt it will happen. It will throw up too many lawsuits and possibly criminal activity.
  • ZealousMissJJ
    ZealousMissJJ Posts: 454 Member
    My brother is going thru this right now. Its tough. He told me when the pain gets to much, he is going to stop the feeding tube. I respect his decision. :frown:

    I'm so sorry baby girl... I've been through this with my mom 3 weeks ago. Hang in there. :heart: :heart: :heart: