Is it normal to feel resentment ?

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  • Diane_1984
    Diane_1984 Posts: 18 Member
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    yes...slap him

    Hahaha yes
  • smartin1763
    smartin1763 Posts: 1
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    You need a better salad! :)

    A way to use less dressing but still feel like you are having a lot of it is to have it on the side, dip your fork into it, then dip your fork into the salad. It's amazing how delicious this makes your salad!
  • hkb85
    hkb85 Posts: 37
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    Have you tired cooking something low cal thats yummy that he would eat?
    It is soo much easier if he is eating the same as you
    I will have smaller portions of meat with more veggies
    or make a stir fry packed full of veggies etc
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.
  • susanrussell3762
    susanrussell3762 Posts: 1
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    It's completely normal, and while I agree that there may be worse things in life (cancer, poverty, etc.), it's frustrating to not have a fast metabolism, and also to hang around with people who can be insensitve and eat whatever in front of us. I've been overweight my whole life, and often resent when others go to McD's and have a 10-piece nugget meal and 2 McChickens and 3 cheeseburgers, and know that it's the equivalent of 3 days' food for me! But the others are right, this is our journey, and we need to focus on that and try not to look around at what others are doing. Now, if I could only convince myself that's true about the gym! ;-) Hang in there, and just do the best you can every day. If we fall off, we just have to get back up again. We have to keep trying to lose weight as if our life depended on it...because it does.
  • cals83
    cals83 Posts: 131
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    I think it is totally normal. I can't eat gluten so whenever someone eats a soft pretzel or any other food that I miss terribly in front of me...I cry on the inside a little. But..I just suck it up and move on and find something else to eat because I know deep down it isn't worth it to me.

    Also, you shouldn't deprive yourself of things that you really enjoy...just keep it under control and within reasonable portions and that should help a little with feeling resentment. I don't think you have to eat clean 100% of the time to reach your goals.
  • chelseybennett1
    chelseybennett1 Posts: 275 Member
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    I've failed at many diets in the past because I was under the wrong impression that all I could eat was salads. It wasn't until I changed my eating habits to eat whatever I want just watching my portions and add veggies as sides that I learned the correct way and will never look back.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Get some noseplugs......

    That's partly a joke, and partly not. Our mind will give us anxiety when we smell something we really desire and fixate on that smell.

    If you didn't smell it, it probably wouldn't bug you.

    You really can't expect "others" to change their eating habits because you have changed yours...it isn't fair to them to be "on your diet" by simple assocation with you.

    So my suggestion is either to find a way to deal with it, or eat separately.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    I feel pretty lucky that my daughter, who is the only other person in the household, is on board with what I'm doing. If she were sitting there eating take-out pizza right now, I'd be pretty pissed -- not at her, just at the situation. I give major props to anyone who can keep their resolve while those around them are eating all the goodies.

    Stay strong, and try not to resent him. It's not his fault. It's the burger's. It's always the burger's fault.
    ___

    P.S. If you want a cheeseburger (or pizza or Chinese), make it fit. You may not be able to have it as often as your man, but you can definitely make it work once in a while.
    ___

    :)
  • bonniecarbs
    bonniecarbs Posts: 446 Member
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    Yes its normal, but I'll tell you that just eating a salad is really thinking like they did back in the Jane Fonda days. Since you are on MFP, use it as your tool so you can eat like a human being and not a rabbit. and like the other responders said, work those calories off. Lots of success to you.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!

    :drinker: :love: :happy:
    what she said.
    you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want forever and ever as long as you work out.
    also, no need to be on 1200 cals.

    While I agree that most people don't need to be on 1200 calories, successful weight loss usually involves a combination of both exercise and calorie restriction. There is such a thing as too much exercise, for your schedule, and for your health.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I must be doing it wrong. When I really want McD's, I just have McD's. Some careful budgeting of calories (which is admittedly a lot easier if you aren't restricting yourself to a suffocating 1200 calories) or some extra work.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this

    Yeah I gotta say blunt but right
  • RyanMastrosimone
    RyanMastrosimone Posts: 18
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    I think it's normal. My husband has a super fast metabolism. He is 5'7"-5'8" and 115 pounds. We calculated one day how many calories he eats in the average day. Over 5000. I rarely go over 1200, and 115 is my goal weight. Yeah sometimes it gets frustrating, and sometimes, I may get a little jealous lol, but everyone is different. You can still eat foods you want, moderation is a big thing though.
  • andyisandy
    andyisandy Posts: 433 Member
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    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this

    Yeah I gotta say blunt but right
  • LoudmouthLee
    LoudmouthLee Posts: 358
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    I don't personally believe in not allowing yourself something you really want. Just hold yourself accountable, and make solid decisions. You will survive if you eat the Big Mac. You just maybe should have it without the cheese, the special sauce and the middle bun? Add some mustard?
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
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    Don't make food decisions you are not able to stick to forever.. otherwise you will burn out or gain it all back. If I get hungry I work out and earn more calories to eat. But 1200 calories seems too low. Set your goal to 1 lb per week to get used to things. You will learn how to make adjustments and then it will be a easier to drop to 1200 and it won't be as painful.
  • NirvaniTeasley
    NirvaniTeasley Posts: 138 Member
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    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?

    Unfortunately it is often the people closest to us that are the most non-supportive and frankly insensitive. To eat that kind of food around you is considered the worst lack of support. They just do not understand the struggle you are waging with yourself on a moment to moment basis. Being here at MFP is a wonderful step in the right direction, we are here to support and love you through the difficult times and to buoy you up and to celebrate your successes...Find friends here who will support and motivate you, they will ALWAYS understand and empathize with your struggle.

    Last but not least, be gentle with yourself, you are going to make mistakes, try to make little changes rather than monumental ones that last for a short time and peter out. If you have been eating a 2000 calorie diet and lower to a 1200 overnight, you are most likely to fall off. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps...I cannot stress that enough....Best of luck on your journey and you CAN win.

    Love&Light,
    Nirvani
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I couldn't stick to a diet that doesn't allow delicious food. I'm a foodie by nature, and while McD's isn't a prime example of gourmet or unique food, everyone craves the greasy fast stuff at times. Either work out harder or compensate with fewer calories through the week. A weekly goal is a lot easier to stick to than a daily goal. I noticed the application offers the option to monitor this while the website doesn't (unless something's changed since I last checked). It's helped me to realize you can shoot for an estimate instead of an absolute food goal, day in, day out.

    1,200 calories is what MFP chooses when most people set a 2lb/week goal, whether it's healthy or reasonable for them or not. Most times, it's not. I suggest you run your numbers through this calculator ( http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/ ), adjust your goals, and approach fat loss less painfully. It may be a bit slower and more gradual than an extreme calorie deficit, but the weight you're losing is more likely to be from fat than lean muscle if you use a gradual approach, and you won't want to kill your loved ones for eating foods you've deemed untouchable. Also, there is a reason crash-dieters typically regain the weight they've lost and more ... they slow their metabolism with their very low-calorie diets and then they binge on all the foods they've been missing in their deficit.

    Slow and steady, as boring as it is, is the sustainable, intelligent approach. You don't have to put yourself through hell to lose weight, you just have to be smart, have patience, and adhere to your plan. Your results will be an effort of your dedication and your daily decisions.

    Best of luck.

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