Is it normal to feel resentment ?

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Replies

  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!

    :drinker: :love: :happy:
    what she said.
    you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want forever and ever as long as you work out.
    also, no need to be on 1200 cals.

    While I agree that most people don't need to be on 1200 calories, successful weight loss usually involves a combination of both exercise and calorie restriction. There is such a thing as too much exercise, for your schedule, and for your health.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I must be doing it wrong. When I really want McD's, I just have McD's. Some careful budgeting of calories (which is admittedly a lot easier if you aren't restricting yourself to a suffocating 1200 calories) or some extra work.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this

    Yeah I gotta say blunt but right
  • RyanMastrosimone
    RyanMastrosimone Posts: 18
    I think it's normal. My husband has a super fast metabolism. He is 5'7"-5'8" and 115 pounds. We calculated one day how many calories he eats in the average day. Over 5000. I rarely go over 1200, and 115 is my goal weight. Yeah sometimes it gets frustrating, and sometimes, I may get a little jealous lol, but everyone is different. You can still eat foods you want, moderation is a big thing though.
  • andyisandy
    andyisandy Posts: 433 Member
    I'd try to figure out what he's doing right and you're doing wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    ^this

    Yeah I gotta say blunt but right
  • LoudmouthLee
    LoudmouthLee Posts: 358 Member
    I don't personally believe in not allowing yourself something you really want. Just hold yourself accountable, and make solid decisions. You will survive if you eat the Big Mac. You just maybe should have it without the cheese, the special sauce and the middle bun? Add some mustard?
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
    Don't make food decisions you are not able to stick to forever.. otherwise you will burn out or gain it all back. If I get hungry I work out and earn more calories to eat. But 1200 calories seems too low. Set your goal to 1 lb per week to get used to things. You will learn how to make adjustments and then it will be a easier to drop to 1200 and it won't be as painful.
  • NirvaniTeasley
    NirvaniTeasley Posts: 138 Member
    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?

    Unfortunately it is often the people closest to us that are the most non-supportive and frankly insensitive. To eat that kind of food around you is considered the worst lack of support. They just do not understand the struggle you are waging with yourself on a moment to moment basis. Being here at MFP is a wonderful step in the right direction, we are here to support and love you through the difficult times and to buoy you up and to celebrate your successes...Find friends here who will support and motivate you, they will ALWAYS understand and empathize with your struggle.

    Last but not least, be gentle with yourself, you are going to make mistakes, try to make little changes rather than monumental ones that last for a short time and peter out. If you have been eating a 2000 calorie diet and lower to a 1200 overnight, you are most likely to fall off. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps...I cannot stress that enough....Best of luck on your journey and you CAN win.

    Love&Light,
    Nirvani
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I couldn't stick to a diet that doesn't allow delicious food. I'm a foodie by nature, and while McD's isn't a prime example of gourmet or unique food, everyone craves the greasy fast stuff at times. Either work out harder or compensate with fewer calories through the week. A weekly goal is a lot easier to stick to than a daily goal. I noticed the application offers the option to monitor this while the website doesn't (unless something's changed since I last checked). It's helped me to realize you can shoot for an estimate instead of an absolute food goal, day in, day out.

    1,200 calories is what MFP chooses when most people set a 2lb/week goal, whether it's healthy or reasonable for them or not. Most times, it's not. I suggest you run your numbers through this calculator ( http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/ ), adjust your goals, and approach fat loss less painfully. It may be a bit slower and more gradual than an extreme calorie deficit, but the weight you're losing is more likely to be from fat than lean muscle if you use a gradual approach, and you won't want to kill your loved ones for eating foods you've deemed untouchable. Also, there is a reason crash-dieters typically regain the weight they've lost and more ... they slow their metabolism with their very low-calorie diets and then they binge on all the foods they've been missing in their deficit.

    Slow and steady, as boring as it is, is the sustainable, intelligent approach. You don't have to put yourself through hell to lose weight, you just have to be smart, have patience, and adhere to your plan. Your results will be an effort of your dedication and your daily decisions.

    Best of luck.
  • MarizMommie
    MarizMommie Posts: 21 Member
    Lol I appreciate your motivation in all its genuine... and sarcastic ways ;)

    And if I choose to not be around, I choose to be homeless. Not really that hard of a choice.
  • MarizMommie
    MarizMommie Posts: 21 Member
    Thank you . I read that and felt hugged lmao!
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,322 Member
    My b/f is one who has such a high metabolism that he burns off everything he eats very quickly. The only thing I get mad about is that he can sit and down a whole pint of Haagen Dazs while I have to work to fit in a Skinny Cow popsicle. :D

    But Its ok. You play the hand life deals you. I am still happier than I was when I was obese.
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    I have been here and yes I felt resentment. It took me a while to finally come to the conclusion that I am the ONLY one putting food in my body and only I am accountable for me and no one else. Yes, it is hard to watch someone else in my household eat a fat juicy burger while I am eating a salad BUT I can guarantee that I am healthier and will lose more than the ones eating that burger...and I will eat my salad with a smile on my face thinking about the resentment that they will feel when I hit my goal weight and they do not. Its my body and my choice of what I want to put in it.
  • Elisirmon
    Elisirmon Posts: 273 Member
    I would have the salad then share the burger with him then go do a workout later on...and feel good : ) Yes sometimes I get jealous too cause I can't have gluten or lactose due to allergies but when you start seeing the results and feeling better you realize your doing yourself the biggest favor... remember to eat 80 percent healthy and 20 percent bad...be active and just enjoy yourself and this is a journey not a quick fix..
  • akp4Him
    akp4Him Posts: 227
    It makes me a little resentful when my family is eating a huge piece of cake and I only get a sliver. But there are times that afterwards...their tummies are a little too full and bloated...and mine feels fine. It is all a balancing act. There are times a burger fits into my calories...and there are times it doesn't. When it doesn't...I try to remember the big prize I'm going for. If I'm truly resentful...I eat some of the burger...and start again the next meal. Life goes on...it isn't a sprint...it is a marathon. Keep going and you will suceed!
  • Mmmmona
    Mmmmona Posts: 328 Member
    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?

    If you haven't tried talking to him, do so now, before the resentment turns into spite. Tell him how you feel and how hard it is for you. If he is a good guy, he will accommodate you.

    If he will not accommodate you, leave whenever he wants to eat those bad foods. Go for a walk, drink a big bottle of water, do some exercises, read a book in another room. Whatever it takes.

    Not everyone is going to support you on this journey but if you finish it, it will be worth it! Sometimes you just need to dig a little extra willpower out. You can do it.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?

    I don't understand the 1200 calorie part. Are you trying to lose 2 lbs a week? If you have 50 lbs or less then that is really hard to do. It's a lot easier to lose less than 2 lbs a week and you don't have to go crazy. For example you can have a burger just make it a kids burger to go with your side salad, you could probably even have a small fry. But, doing that on 1200 calories would be hard. It's pretty doable on 1500-1600 calories.

    Like a lot of people have said, it's good to work for your food. Take a walk and you earn more food. Dance for an hour or so and earn more food. Do Zumba which is a bit more intense than just dancing and earn even more etc... Also weight lifting is good for building muscle that will fuel your metabolism.

    Being in a hurry to lose weight usually backfires. As many people here can testify to. I yoyo'd my way up to morbid obesity. Don't think it can't happen to you. So, take it easy add a few more calories add some exercise and presto chango no more needless resentment because you will be able to fit what you want within reason into your eating plan.
  • marygee1951
    marygee1951 Posts: 148 Member
    I'd try to get him to switch to Subway or D'Angelos -- that way you can get a healthy sub at Subway or a pocket at D'Angelos and not feel deprived. And if you go to Burger King instead of McD's you can order a veggie burger or (in some locations) a turkey burger. And I think McD's has grilled chicken sandwiches -- just get them without the sauces or may - ask for mustard instead.

    You will feel resentful if you deprive yourself. You've got to find ways to "work" your food. And are you sure 1200 is the right amount of calories for you? Eating fewer calories than your allotment will not make you lose weight faster - so make sure you're eating enough.


    P.S. Note to EvanKeel -- you, my friend, are a gentleman! :flowerforyou:
  • Joehenny
    Joehenny Posts: 1,222 Member
    Without commenting on the possible clean eating vs IIFYM discussion that may erupt, I'll just say sure. It's a natural reaction. It's how you deal with it that matters. I'm a little resentful that some people get to spend their lives doing nothing but living off a trust fund, but I imagine there are other people who are resentful that I don't have to deal with the crushing poverty they were born with, or that I don't have cancer (knock on wood), or I haven't been maimed in a fire. The list goes on.

    There are worse things in life.

    THIS
  • silentninja1983
    silentninja1983 Posts: 1
    work out more and eat what you want! No reason to starve!

    AGREE
  • kimbtaylor1
    kimbtaylor1 Posts: 210 Member
    Ok so, im the only one trying to loose weight. My boyfriend doesnt exactly eat 100% healthy but hes in shape toned and can eat itanything he wants.(no calorie watching). Ive been on this diet for 5 days, nothing but water and 1200 calories of the heathiest foods i can find...BUT THEY STILL GET TO CHOW ON MC D'S CHEESE BURGER,WHILE IM EATING A SIDE SALAD WITH BARELY ANY DRESSING . Help me, please im not going to eat it but i kind of feel resentment is this normal?

    At first there is some resentment when you are looking at those high calorie juciy burgers but after a while you realize that they aren't worth it. Your boyfriend may be able to eat like that now and stay trim but we are all aging. He won't stay that way. And even if he does he is filling his heart with so much cholestorol that its sad. Enjoy your salads and healthy foods knowing you are doing what is right and good for you. From time to time enjoy one of those burgers with the BF. But always keep in mind that healthy eating and living will not only benefits your looks but your overall health now and years from now!
  • eringrace10
    eringrace10 Posts: 135 Member
    Wish, who said you can't have burgers, I had one yesterday feel free to take a look its not about eating little dry limp salads not if that's what you don't like, your only setting yourself up for failure I've been there I know. It's about finding a healthier version of the food you love. Looks of people have burger on their dairies but they stay within the calorie goals. . Alternatively google healthy insert name of whatever you want here. you'll be surprised good luck.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    just work for your food. 45 mins of circuit training and you can chow down a big mac and it wouldnt do much damage. or as another poster mentioned. just dont expose yourself to those foods each day and make your healthy foods more delicious. plain salads suck.

    This.

    And up your calories a little. Or have just the burger with no fries.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
    Ok, first, the ones suggesting he is doing something right that allows him to eat like that... I used to agree but just spent two months as the houseguest of someone whom easily puts back over 4k a day, doesn't work out, and doesn't get fat. We tried to see what it would take to make him gain fat, which I sold him as a "bulk" as I got him into resistance training. It took a lot of effort, he put on some fat and muscle, and then as soon as he lost interest he lost all the fat and some of the muscle. This went against everything I know. But it happened.


    Is it metabolism? Gut flora? Wo knows, but we spent most days together and none of the theories about slim people moving more work. He plays video games, eats ice cream constantly, chows down on massive plates of pasta with a big milk chaser, and on and on. Basically, he eats the same diet and does the same activities that got me 50 lbs overweight.


    So now I'm not sure what I believe.


    To the OP, make it a team effort. Ask him what kind of *kitten* he wants to be tapping, and let him know there are "rewards" for help ing the cause.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Lorena Bobbitt him!
  • jennpaulson
    jennpaulson Posts: 850 Member
    I'm new at this and haven't reached my goal yet but I fit what I want into my day. If the family wants pizza, we order pizza and depending on the size of the pieces I eat one or two. I still go to my favorite bbq place, I just get the brisket with no roll and green beans instead of fries.

    But I have to say upping your activity does work. I went to New Orleans for 6 days back in the fall and I ate all the yummy food that beautiful city had to offer and I drank more than my share of Hurricanes, but except for a few trips across town in the middle of the night, I walked that city. When I came home I fully expected to have gained at least 5 or 6 lbs. Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale and it said I had lost 2 lbs since I had been on it before I left. I didn't work out while I was there, I didn't run, I didn't sweat (there was a freak cold front), I just walked around seeing the sights and eating.
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
    Yes, it is normal. Unfortunately, there's very little you can do about anyone else's eating habits, but the resentment can be curbed, for lack of a better word, at least a bit, by adopting a less punishing approach to your own food. As others have said, this does NOT need to be about side salads - find foods you like that fit within your goals. If some of those foods are high-calorie, add in exercise to burn them off and eat them less frequently than lower-calorie things you like.

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