Would you say anything? (Military folks input especially)

kittyhasclaws

I will say it straight out: I have a strong sense of loyalty and a very short temper.

So, with that in mind, I'm beyond irked. To the point that if I had access to these individuals, I would probably do my best to ensure they would never have children. My husband is a former Marine. He served for six years (2003-2009) with one year long (2007-2008) tour in Iraq. He left for that deployment in February '07 and returned February '08. April '07, while in Iraq, he was struck by lightning. Yeah, of all things, he was struck by lightning. He was knocked unconscious, suffered a concussion and received a traumatic brain injury (TBI)- no burns, which isn't as uncommon as most think. That last diagnosis didn't happen until after he got back. Despite getting knocked out, he received no medical attention other than some anti inflammatories and sleep medication. He stuck out 10 more months out there because his team was understaffed (as in it was him and one other guy working 12s, and that's it), and when he gets home, all the adrenaline wears off and the after effects all surface. Migraines, cognitive disconnects (literally can't string together a sentence), emotional disturbances, and major vertigo. He couldn't walk straight and would fall down a lot. I couldn't trust him to hold our daughter because of how much he fell. It took forever to get him properly diagnosed and start getting him the proper treatment.

He was in for a year and a half more before he was medically retired (read that: RETIRED, not just discharged) because of his injuries. He was on a bunch of medications and had to walk with a cane to keep himself upright. This was incredibly hard for him since he'd planned on making a career out of it. It's been six years since his injury, and he's still got some issues, but after about two years of physical therapy, he was able to function without the cane.

Now, he was browsing through some pictures from his MC days that other Marines he knew had posted. He came up with one from the deployment. He checked it out and it had a few really nasty comments on it. Mostly it was name calling, saying that one had lost a lot of respect for him, and another remarking that he hardly recognized him out of the service with longer hair, facial hair and no cane. It was some REALLY disrespectful stuff considering my husband's situation.

Now, here is the question: If this was your loved one, would you say anything to the guys who said this crap? I really don't want to make things worse for my husband (I know this really bothered him, though you'd be hard pressed to get it out of him) because there could possibly be a backlash from either of the two with more nastiness. Should I let it slide and just know that they're out of line? I know this is kind of the opposite of "Don't you dare be disrespectin' mah woman!", but I've always been something of a fighter and I don't like that people who have no idea what the f*** they're talking about talk down to me or my family. Is this a situation where I just hope my blood pressure drops and I get over it, or is it a time to let out the claws?

TheRoadDog

I'm sorry people are such @ssholes. I am a former Marine. Let your husband work through this on his own. Be there if he needs you, but don't fight his battles for him or deal with these perceived insults.

MinnieInMaine

I completely agree with TheRoadDog. That would ruffle the hell out of my feathers too (my brother was injured during Desert Storm so I get where you're coming from) but I'd leave it up to hubby to fight his battles. They may quickly and easily dismiss comments from you (just a wife defending her man) but if the comments were to come directly from him or another man in the unit, they may be more respected.

DalekBrittany

I agree with those two. I'm a fighter to and my first instinct would be to go all primal on their *kitten*, but you gotta let people fight their own battles.

Timshel_

I'm sorry you are seeing such comments. I don't know the whole situation, but that is unfortunate. Ultimately, they mean nothing though.

I will make general comments and step out (these are not directed towards you, mind you). These are two things my Dad told me about service.

First, you serve to fight for America and everything it stands for. Freedom of Speach is part of that and you will be fight for those you agree with AND disagree with.

Second, service does not make a man. That is to say, You can appreciate someone's service, but that doesn't make them repsectable.

kittyhasclaws

Thanks to all who responded. I'm a rather irrational person when I get angry, so it's good to know that this is a time to stop my fingers. You're right, it probably would get dismissed, or made fun of.

TheRoadDog

Thanks to all who responded. I'm a rather irrational person when I get angry, so it's good to know that this is a time to stop my fingers. You're right, it probably would get dismissed, or made fun of.

I understand you completely. You're not irrational. Just protecting someone you love.

My wife is just like you. I am an ex-Marine. I studied Martial Arts for almost 40 years and even had my own school. Worked as a bodyguard. Pretty sure I can take care of myself, but nothing will provoke my wife to action quicker than when someone is critical of me or is disrespectful towards me. That's why I love her.

digitalbill

I also agree with Road Dog.
I am a former Soldier so hopefully I can help.
Your Husband is probably:

1: Pissed because he wanted to be a career Marine
2: Irritated because he got discharged because of a friggen LIGHTNING BOLT (of all things)
3: Hurt because his former "buddies" turned out to be jerks.

Having his wife fight his battles for him is just one more insult.
MANY former Military men grow out their hair and whatnot once they get out. I don't have much say in the matter but, my older Brother (Retired AF) now looks like the bad guy from Iron Man II
I hope your Marine gets the help he needs and I am thrilled he was able to get rid of the cane.
This is a good way to see who his REAL friends are.

Buddhasmiracle

I'm sorry people are such @ssholes. I am a former Marine. Let your husband work through this on his own. Be there if he needs you, but don't fight his battles for him or deal with these perceived insults.

Excellent advice.
My husband is a 'Nam vet with a priority 2 combat disability including hearing loss and post traumatic stress. For the years that he has been in therapy, I waited for him to come to terms with his horror, and initiate what ever he wanted to share with me about his experiences with me, unprompted. Not only were his combat experiences in recon a horror but his reception home by civilians (calling him a baby killer and murderer to his face) was just as bad.

Your husband has come a long way since his injury and he will continue to stand straight on his own two feet. Bravo to both of you!