I need motivation, advice, something of the sort.

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  • iwillbetinytea
    iwillbetinytea Posts: 264 Member
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    I'm a lot like you, I get bored of the DVDs so easily, or 30 day challenges so I mix it up a lot: some days I will go to the gym, some days do a video at home (or my own work out I find off the internet that makes me go 'ooooh'), or go for a walk down by the canal, walk into town (40mins), go for a run, cycle yada yada.

    Point is, don't assume you have to stick to one type of exercise like the gym. Repitition BORES me. When i do different things I want and embrace the change.

    I also set myself a mini goal every week - to lose at least 1lb. I know if I eat my deficit and work out a bit everyday I will (and have so far) made that goal each week (well, there were two weeks where I maintained - but as the saying goes: lose, maintain just don't gain)

    In regards to slipping up, I've been relaxed about my eating for too long. I want to look good naked, I want to feel good in clothes, I want to go to the beach and not be mortified. So I stopped thinking 'I want to get slimmer' and started thinking 'I will get slimmer'.

    You only live once. Might as well look your best for it.
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    People "inspire" not motivate. Anyone can tell all the right reasons, but unless you're actually motivated by yourself, it falls on deaf ears.
    It's like telling an alcoholic the reasons why they should stop drinking and how it hurts not only them, but the others around them. They'll hear it, but until they are ready to accept change, they won't.
    I do this for a living so I don't buy the whole "I know what I need to do, so you don't need to tell me" excuse. You may not see it that way, but it really is an excuse. And understand I've heard it lots and lots of times over the years.
    That's why you're not consistent, nor are you motivated to go to the gym. You're stuck because you're not doing what you need to do to get past it.
    But yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissary note, TODAY is the only legal tender you can spend. So, reassess your goals, write them down and make a specific plan on how to achieve them. No excuses.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    All right, then I'm looking for inspiration. And if you're going to compare this to an alcoholic, then consider me the alcoholic that actively wants to change and is simply seeking tips, advice, support, inspiration, words of encouragement, whatever phrase you'd like to attach to it to help "inspire" me to get up and get going again. Also consider me the alcoholic that is ready to listen to said advice and "inspiration" and put it to practice, so it is not falling on deaf ears. Sorry that you've heard this time and time before, but I will ask that you don't compare me to the people you've been seeing for years and years because you don't know me personally and you cannot assume that I'm just making an excuse just because they were making excuses. I genuinely already know that without having self-motivation, I cannot do this, and that without just buckling down and actually doing it, I won't get anywhere. I. KNOW. THAT. It is not an excuse, it is just plain fact. What I was trying to say, and I will try to say it again in hopes that it transpires correctly this time, is that I DO already know those things and I DO plan to follow that advice because I AM already aware of it, but what I'm looking for in addition to those two words of advice is, as you would word it, inspiration, and as I said, support, encouragement, just people to talk to and relate to in order to help me get along my way. THAT is why i asked for people to not just reply with those two things because it would be completely useless to me because I'm not looking for a simplistic, three word response that I could have figured out myself. I'm looking for CONVERSATION. I'm looking to just "sit down", so to speak, with other people going through the same weight loss struggle as me and bounce support, ideas, empathy, advice, etc. off of each other. I will NOT get that result that I am looking for from "just do it". I hope this makes things more clear finally.
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
    Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
    I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
    The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down ;). I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
    Good Luck!

    This is an extremely good idea! I do love making lists too, so this appeals to me on a number of levels. I think I'll try out your 'motivation-go-to' list idea!
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    Here is my two cents:
    I have lost close to 70lbs over the last 5 months through diet alone. My wife has lost about 40 during the same time period. She is about your size and weight. Besides being a man and a woman, the other difference is that I eat the same things nearly every day and at the same time each day while she does not.. I figured out that the key to weight loss was keeping my blood sugar levels as even as possible throughout the day to avoid those hunger spikes which led me to binge eat. At the same time I have learned to limit portion size. I start with a bit of protein and a starch each day and then about 2 hours later I have a fruit (apple usually). 2 hours later I eat lunch (salad, lowfat protein of turkey or chicken, a bag of protein chips) and then 2 hours after that I have another fruit. The about 2-3 hours later, I have dinner. Dinner was hardest but I learned portion control and to eat at home. We use to eat out 7 days a week. Now I cook just enough for the two of us for that meal. Dinner consists of protein (lean meats or seafood) a small starch (usually a potato) and veggies. We end our meal with protein bar for a sweet. I do this every day and I rarely feel hungry or deprived.. It is boring, but I find that being boring with a normal blood pressure and no more knee pain is better than loading up a the Chinese buffet and tipping the scale at 321 lbs.with high blood pressure. So the advice I can give is to find a eating routine just like you find a workout routine. Oh, and don't diet. Diets start and end, instead change the way you think about eating. That way you won't have cheat days. You can cheat on a diet, you can't cheat on a lifestyle. Don't deny your cravings, just their amounts.

    It does make me feel better to hear that weight loss has been achieved through diet alone. Now this doesn't mean I plan to use this as an excuse not to work out at all, but it does make me feel a little better if I don't kill myself in exercise every week. I definitely have a lot of issues with my blood sugar going out of whack and leading to crazy binges, too! I know it's because I don't eat frequently enough. I'm gonna try to keep this in mind and eat more regularly, thank you. Ah, and portion control. My weakness. I do plan to work on that one. Very slowly, but very surely.
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    In April, I did pretty much the same thing as you did. I'm back on track now, and what helped me was to set a goal of staying on plan for 30 days. If I want to eat extra, I need to exercise extra to "pay" for the extra calories. I was struggling getting back to exercise, so I started relatively small-less than I normally would've exercised. Re-discovered that I like to exercise and have upped it again by choice.

    If you are having a problem getting back on your plan, examine that plan and find out what you have the hardest time doing-if you can identify it, it will be easier to target/solve the problem. After eating junk or drive through for a while, it gets to be a habit. The same thing happens when you eat good healthy food.

    Best of luck!

    You're so right. Eating junk food for a while becomes a habit, but I know from memory that so does eating healthy. I just need to stick to this long enough to make THAT my habit again. I really like challenging myself, too. Like telling myself "Okay, I can't slip up for a month" or something. I'm keeping this in mind. Maybe I'll try to start with a "I can't slip up for two week" challenge. Thank you!
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    Lots of good tips were given to help with diet & exercise...the one thing that jumped out at me from your original post was that it seemed that junk food & eating out are at the nucleus of your social/work circle--changing that takes you out of your comfort zone. It's very possible that a lifestyle change (which is what you must do to remove & keep weight off forever) might very well change that dynamic--are you ready, willing and able to commit to such a change?

    That's a very good question. I am willing if that's what it boils down to, because I do want it that badly. But I'd like to think that I could find a way of not going to the extreme of cutting out my eat-outs with my friends and rather just learning to stay healthy and calorie count while I eat out. Of course, it might be best if I find a happy medium and eat out less, and smart when I do?
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    Oh girl, motivation is really the only thing that holds most of us back. I can exercise and diet like a pro - when I'm motivated.
    Yeah, so now if I could only figure out how to keep that motivation...
    I have used many things to try and spark my 'motivational vigor.' Here's a partial list: YouTube videos about dieting and exercise, success stories, paying for a workout class , trying to help someone else loose weight, gym dates, signing up for group triathlons (peer pressure), reading books about fitness (I found Fitness for Dummies oddly inspiring...), reading books about healthy cooking, joining a meditation group (lifestyle change), self bribes (you can have a beer if you work really hard at the gym), planning my 'new me' wardrobe, long term goals (like climbing a mountain or running a marathon), adopting a new sport (like kayaking), taking a health class, buying fitness 'toys' (like my hot pink HMR)...
    The trouble is, at any given time in my life, anything on this list is hit or miss. Nothing works ALL the time. And some things have only work once. 5 years ago, peer pressure was my go to motivation and I made my goal weight in 5 months. Then life rolled on and it didn't really do it anymore. Couple years ago it was kayaking (OMG sexy arms!). Then that got boring. And I got lazy. And was introduced to the wonderful world of beer. So right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life. But I'm motivated (YouTube vids got me going this time), so I'm feeling good. Confident. That said, I KNOW, a couple months from now, I will NOT be motivated - and just responding to your message tonight made me realize: I will need a plan. HOW am I going to get motivated when YouTube lets me down ;). I've decided, I will go through every item on that list, one by one, and try it again. I have totally trained myself to do the dishes after dinner, so I can totally train myself to do one thing on that there motivation list when I need to.
    Good Luck!

    Best motivation you can get if from other people especially the ones near you, your friends that are also into fitness. When you are weak they will push you, when they get weak, you are there to push them. I am so blessed that my hubby is a fitness junky. He always gets me off my *kitten* when i feel i cant go on. Also make sure you monitor your progress no matter how small it is. Take before and after pictures of yourself even if the difference is 2-3 pounds. You will see the difference and it will make you get up and go at it again.

    If only I had friends that were into fitness. I'm the only friend in my circle that cares about it and I really wish I had at least one other physical friend that does - it helps a lot! When my friends go on temporary bursts of physical fitness hype, it always helps me loads.
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    I'm a lot like you, I get bored of the DVDs so easily, or 30 day challenges so I mix it up a lot: some days I will go to the gym, some days do a video at home (or my own work out I find off the internet that makes me go 'ooooh'), or go for a walk down by the canal, walk into town (40mins), go for a run, cycle yada yada.

    Point is, don't assume you have to stick to one type of exercise like the gym. Repitition BORES me. When i do different things I want and embrace the change.

    I also set myself a mini goal every week - to lose at least 1lb. I know if I eat my deficit and work out a bit everyday I will (and have so far) made that goal each week (well, there were two weeks where I maintained - but as the saying goes: lose, maintain just don't gain)

    In regards to slipping up, I've been relaxed about my eating for too long. I want to look good naked, I want to feel good in clothes, I want to go to the beach and not be mortified. So I stopped thinking 'I want to get slimmer' and started thinking 'I will get slimmer'.

    You only live once. Might as well look your best for it.

    YES. That's exactly it. I get bored really easily. I always have to mix up my exercise at least monthly in order to be able to stick to it. I might try mixing it up even more often like you do, though! And I love the mini-goal idea. I'm stealing that one too ;)
  • bodymindsouletc
    bodymindsouletc Posts: 15
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    Maybe it's a matter of figuring out what motivates you to take the steps you need to take. Here are some of my motivations. Some may not ring a bell for you, but maybe some will spark an idea that will work in your situation:

    * Going through my old clothes. I've got some really nice ones in there that are too small for me now, and I want to be able to wear them. My wedding dress is one of them.

    * Being able to squat down with perfect form and pick up my 20-lb baby. Now that I can do that, I must not go back! I must not!

    * The only place I can do a perfect, all-the-way-down push up is with my hands on my kitchen counter. I want to improve until I can do them full length on the floor!

    * My husband is so proud of me now that I'm serious about losing weight.

    Some ideas that might help you:

    * Log your meals before you eat them. This includes snacks and eating out. Decide how much you need calorie wise and make it work on the screen. Then eat that much. When you are done, ask yourself, "Am I full?" if the answer is yes, stop eating. This one thing has totally revolutionized how I eat. I have been losing inches like crazy!

    * I get really bored doing the same thing over and over. I find it helpful to do a program where I have to improve, advance. More weight, go faster, etc.

    * I just recently discovered http://nerdfitness.com. The advice there is stellar and the community is amazing. They run 6-week challenges that are kind of like a reverse RPG (if that sounds confusing, just go there and read the forums about it). Their next challenge starts June 3, and I can't wait to participate. It should give me some motivation to keep on keeping on!

    Hope that gives you some ideas.

    You definitely gave me some great ideas. Thanks so much for taking the time to offer them to me. I love hearing what works for other people and what might work for me too. Definitely found some things on your list that sparked me!
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    I actually think you are nearly there, mentally. Because I go through this process. Right before I get the determination to do it I feel really down about it all. Then I go past that and do it.
    So sure by now you've gone there!
    Maybe focus on one thing at a time. I've been told it takes two weeks to break a habit. So eating at work is temptation. Spend two weeks just focusing on not doing that. When you've got out of that habit , focus on another small change you can make. Keep building on to them.
  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
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    I'll be honest, and you will not like me and think i'm a *****...but meh, sometimes honesty helps so...your whole post sounds like excuses...excuses why you can't get motivated, why you can't exercise, why you can't do the things you need to do to achieve what you want. You're so defensive it's like you are armed with nuclear subs :wink:

    I know this because it's exactly how I was, and still am to an extent. I had/have a good reason for not doing everything I don't want to/didn't want to do. I am the queen of putting things off and not treading outside of my comfort zone. But the thing is...if you don't charge into the dodgy slightly uncomfortable land of changing your lifestyle you will never achieve what you want.

    You can surround yourself with every bit of motivational blurb and inspirational story in the whole of internet land but the only person responsible for you is you ultimately. I know this because I have been there. Several times, and believe me the only way I got to where I actually like (sometimes) what I see in the mirror was by being focused and being dragged out of my comfort zone. It hurts and it's unsettling but it just depends on how much you want to reach your goal?

    No one here wants to drag you down or make you feel bad. This site has the some of the most fantastic, unwavering but also brutally honest advice you will get for free anywhere on the net. Everyone here will support you. You might not always want to hear the advice, but maybe just keep an open mind and accept other people's ideas and opinions. We're not out to get you, just trying to help ;-)

    Good luck x
  • Pkuro29
    Pkuro29 Posts: 2
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    I think I know where you're coming from. Personally, I work in a grocery store, and that contains pretty much what a convenience store has and more. I used to forgo bringing home lunch because I'd just pick up something from the store or one of the nearby lunch shops. Not only is this a terrible habit, it's EXPENSIVE! I'll tell you what I do now and maybe you can get some ideas from it. Remember, small changes lead to big ones over time, so don't worry if it seems slow, you'll get there in the end. Just make a small change today, and a year from now, it could be huge.

    I picked up a couple of "gourmet" healthy cook books, because let's face it, it doesn't matter how healthy it is, if it tastes like doodoo, I won't eat it. Stuff like the Insanity or P90x cookbooks could be good places to start. Then I went through all of them, finding the meals that looked tasty to me. Then I picked out two meals per meal block (ie breakfast, post workout, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner), for about 9-10 meals per week. I went through the ingredients, making a rough draft of a shopping list, then consolidated and substituted similar foods so that I wouldn't have to buy all sorts of ingredients that spoil before I use it. For example, if a recipe called for a whole wheat english muffin, I might sub that with a ww slice of bread because I already had some. I pick one night from the week (usually Sunday) where I prep whatever meals I can for the week, and put them in prepacked containers. Groceries usually run me about $60-75/week. Not bad when you remember that it's for ~35 meals.

    I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it's worth it in the end. It's saves time through the week. Also, when I bring a prepacked lunch(es) to work, even though there may be tastier junk food, I'll eat my healthy food because it's right in front of me. Circumvents the temptation.

    And for not wanting to exercise, we've all been there. Sometimes you just have to find a time of day where you feel like it can be done. I used to wait until dusk to run because that's when I used to feel energized, but sometimes I'd come home from work tired and just would not work out. Now I've committed to waking up a little earlier and jamming in my workout then. When it's done, I feel great, and when I get home I can just relax knowing my workout is done. I also get bored with my workouts, so I tend to just change it up on a whim. I mainly just aim to do something physical for at least 30 min a day. If I get bored of running, I lift. Lifting gets boring, I'll do hikes. Tired of hiking, I'll do some DVD workouts. Just keep trying new things, and you'll meet new people who will help you.

    Oh, and I'll also share with you my wacky exercise thing. Sometimes I just don't want to leave the house. I want to watch TV and stay inside. I want to stay barefoot. So I do all of that, but I exercise. I'd put on my favorite show (usually on netflix) and play something like a drinking game. Every time a character says his catchphrase, I'd do five squats. If they fight, five pushups. If they sing, run in place for the entire song. You get the idea. Weird, but I enjoy it.

    It's a lot of trial and error till you find what works for YOU. Don't give up; we're all here because we're in the middle of our journey, not because we're finished.
  • ozigal
    ozigal Posts: 173 Member
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    I'm asking others kindly not to reply with "just do it" and "only you can motivate yourself" because I know both of these things already and I know that those things are not going to help me right now. I don't think there's any harm in asking for advice outside of the two things that I'm saying please don't say this because I am already aware of this. What I'm looking for is just for people to talk to me. I'm looking for support and comfort and encouragement, not someone to just come in and say "just do it".

    Support is one thing but regardless of how much support and advice you have, the motivation has to come from you. None of us can motivate you to do something or give you the drive to succeed. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you might look at yourself and decide that it's something YOU want to do.

    Motivation comes from within!

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