Has anyone been "Blamed" for someone else getting fat?

PJ64
PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
edited January 25 in Chit-Chat
I recently ran into an "Ex" who has gained a WHOLE LOT of weight. She sent me an e-mail claiming "When you & I broke up I couldn't go to the gym anymore, too many bad memories, so I just ate"

WTF!?? Yeah right! Thats like me blaming my weight gain on the "Little Debbie Snack cakes" for making their treats so delicious
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Replies

  • redhead1910
    redhead1910 Posts: 304 Member
    Projecting your own failiures onto someone else is so stupid. It would infuriate me if someone daid that to me. I would be like "Unless I force fed you all those cheese burgers and milk shakes it's your own damn fault!"
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    my ex while we were together would actively try to derail me. After a while it started to wear on me.



    Yea it should have been an early warning sign but in the early stages of us getting really serious she would give me the "selfish guilt trip" about taking time to go to the gym.
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    She may have been embarassed that you saw how big she got and felt the need to find an excuse for it
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    I thought it was only current spouses and significant others that sabotaged people's weight loss around here.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I find alot of people blame others for their own shortcomings!
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    I find alot of people blame others for their own shortcomings!

    This
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    I recently ran into an "Ex" who has gained a WHOLE LOT of weight. She sent me an e-mail claiming "When you & I broke up I couldn't go to the gym anymore, too many bad memories, so I just ate"

    From this, it doesn't sound like blame. Assigning blame would be "...and it's all your fault".

    Sometimes people have emotional triggers to overeating. It does happen.
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
    I recently ran into an "Ex" who has gained a WHOLE LOT of weight. She sent me an e-mail claiming "When you & I broke up I couldn't go to the gym anymore, too many bad memories, so I just ate"

    From this, it doesn't sound like blame. Assigning blame would be "...and it's all your fault".

    Sometimes people have emotional triggers to overeating. It does happen.

    No that's assigning blame, in a passive aggressive way she wants him to feel guilty for her weight gain because she used the break as a reason to eat and stop working out.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    Trust me it's blame, there was a lot more of the "passive aggressive" crap in the e-mail.

    The funny thing is, I NEVER workked out with her. She was fit when we met, We went to different gyms and never even ran a 5K together.

    Just another person blaming others for something they did to themselves
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I've blamed myelf for allowing myself to get fat if that counts...
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    She sounds fantastic. I would just be glad she's an "ex" if I were you.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    No that's assigning blame, in a passive aggressive way she wants him to feel guilty for her weight gain because she used the break as a reason to eat and stop working out.

    You know, you're probably right. Depends on the context and tone.

    If someone asked her "hey, why did you gain weight" then the answer doesn't seem like it.
    If she just brought up out of the blue, then probably.

    Hard to tell.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    She sounds fantastic. I would just be glad she's an "ex" if I were you.


    I am!!
  • Zombriana
    Zombriana Posts: 764 Member
    I blamed my ex for me getting fat. After we broke up I lost 20 lbs. I guess that's what happens when you can afford real food again. Living off of microwavable chimichangas, burritos and free pizza isn't good for anyone.

    [edit] oh boy. I wasn't aware that NOT going to the gym makes you fat. :|
  • miadhail
    miadhail Posts: 383 Member
    That's so odd your ex would do that, almost sounds pathetic. The last break up I had (which was years ago), I decided to change myself for the better, worked out, lost a lot of weight, and was honestly the best shape I ever was. Sure enough, he begged me to come back to him. Lol, of course, I ain't returning back to a cheater. :)
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    It's a compliment. She was really broken up over your breakup.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    I mean, I see where she's coming from. When I gained weight it was because my boyfriend and I had broken up, and I was too depressed to work out or bother cooking, so I sat in bed all day and got fast food when I was hungry.

    I would never BLAME him for that though. It wasn't his fault :P
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Yep. Made my wife fat twice. She's not taking any more chances.
  • ProudMotherof4ProudWife2007
    ProudMotherof4ProudWife2007 Posts: 307 Member
    no but my in laws try to de rail me all the time and a bunch of family blame my in laws on their weight gain
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    Blame shifting. . .a neat what to try to side step personal responsibility. Was she sad after the break up? Probably. Did she eat her emotions? Obviously. You're fault??? Nah.
  • Vansy
    Vansy Posts: 419 Member
    I blame my boyfriend for making me turn into a fat and lazy person these past 14 months. But I also blame moving 2000 miles and missing my workout/running partner. But both of those are jokes....I do tell my boyfriend he's the reason I'm lazy, but he knows I'm kidding...we get a good laugh out of it.

    I blame myself completely for getting lazy and eating too much these past 18 months!!! Nobody to blame but myself, nobody forced me to be lazy. Although that being said, even though I've been lazy for 14-18 months I can still go out and run a half-marathon on a whim -- so I guess I'm not doing TOO badly.



    She needs to take responsibility for her own problems of gaining weight. It isn't someone else's fault if you gain weight or stop exercising -- it's your own.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    That's so odd your ex would do that, almost sounds pathetic. The last break up I had (which was years ago), I decided to change myself for the better, worked out, lost a lot of weight, and was honestly the best shape I ever was. Sure enough, he begged me to come back to him. Lol, of course, I ain't returning back to a cheater. :)


    Sounds like you handled it well!

    I guess its like the old saying about handling FEAR you can F#@K Everything And Run or Face Everything And Recover!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Yes, every single relationship, I am accused of packing the lbs on men with my cooking. Sometimes by happy mother's sometimes by their concerned selves, sometimes by congratulatory friends, sometimes by well meaning sister's. Always the same. Always.

    One guy even told me to my face, "sometimes my ex calls me and she makes it sound really, really, tempting", but it's like my mom always used to tell me while I dated her..."the b!tch can't cook!"
  • sarahthin
    sarahthin Posts: 210 Member
    I have never been blamed, but have blame my husband( under my breath). When we started dating it was a whole need lifestyle for me. After every date we ate. We had pizza, hamburgers, ice cream you name it. At home there wasn't the extra money for such things. So like a kid in a candy store I ate everything offered. Kept that up for many years and learned to fix the things he likes. Now trying to teach both of us what is best. It's been almost 48 years. I'm a so learner
  • poe510
    poe510 Posts: 35 Member
    Your ex took the lazy way out blaming you. No one forced that food in that mouth, only she did.
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  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I think it's a bit pathetic but mildly amusing. Enjoy the gloating.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    My wife blames me for knocking her up. and she put on weight then.

    Twice. I can't say I blame her though, because its true.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
    The only thing I gained when we broke up was my Sanity:tongue:

    I have to say I'm really not into bad mouthing Ex's My ex wife and I actually have a great friendship and every woman I ever dated has remained my friend. BUT this one was just like a Hurricane in my life and now she's pulling this crap. None of you know her name and I would never tell, thats why I like the "Anonymity" (somewhat) of MFP

    Thanks for letting me get more than dumbells off my chest, some of your posts are awesome!! and I needed that boost today
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
    I got dumped once at least partly because I lost weight when my then boyfriend was not into exercise. He was super critical every time I went for a walk, stopped saying I was beautiful and called me "fit" instead, and started wanting me to wear a giant, shapeless coat anytime that we went somewhere. He always did like heavy women, so I can't blame him. He gained about 50 pounds after we broke up, started wearing sweatpants, and married someone who dresses similarly.
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