Sometimes I hate certain people......

ttkg

Here is your reality - you have been making healthier choices and it is showing with your progress, do not let what this insensitive person said take that away from you!!! You know you're doing everything right and you need to continue doing these things. I congratulate you on your weight loss and I encourage you to shake this off and keep doing what you're doing!!

I would start looking for a new DR, someone who is going to support you in this journey. i would also call in to his office and speak with him about this, sometimes people need to have their insensitive actions pointed out to them!! I once had a DR ask me what I thought I weighed and then after I replied he laughed and said 'no, no - you weigh much more than that, I can tell just by looking at you!' I was mortified and immediately replaced him. Now I am 10 lbs away from what I had guessed and I did it without that dumbass. YOU CAN TOO! Shake these insensitive comments off, know what your own reality is and keep up the awesome work on yourself. :flowerforyou:

angelwings2000

Your doctor should have congratulated you on your progress thus far and your new helathier lifestyle & asked if there was any way he cold help you in the process. I would defintiely make a complaint to the clinic and look for another doctor.
This was years ago, but I went to a very obese doctor with a nervous tic. My baby was about a year old and the healthiest baby you ever saw ( little rolls of chubs!!) I was a young mother and the doctor lit into me about how I was ensuring my young son a life of obesity. I think he blamed his mother for his problems. My son is 30 years old now, not a bit overweight, never has been once he lost his baby fat and thirty years later I still remember how terrible I felt from the words of that one doctor.
I never returned to that doctor again and since have always keep shopping around until I found the msot caring compassionate physicians. You deserve the best.
Congrats on your weight loss so far. :flowerforyou:

DeathIsMyGift

What a toolbag. I wouldn't go back to his dumb *kitten*.

amysj303

Yes, switch doctors and write a letter to his office explaining why you are switching dr's. writing the letter might be therapuetic too.

Behavior_Modification

I agree you need to find someone else!

Another vote for a new OBGYN

dj_stevie_c

Yes, switch doctors and write a letter to his office explaining why you are switching dr's. writing the letter might be therapuetic too.

This.

Make the letter 'constructive' rather than aggressive though. If you come out with a load of negative energy they are more likely to ignore you, say you like the surgery but after being treated that way you feel you can no longer attend there. And perhaps look for a higher authority that you can send a copy of the correspondence to as well.

As I said in another thread, it shouldn't be 'hidden' from people that they are fat, but getting abused about it is just so wrong.

pixiestick

Doctors only see you what, once a year maybe? So don't let his tunnel vision get you down. You know what you've done, are doing, and will continue to do.

Good job.

withtree

It is okay for your doctor to want you to be healthy but pushing the issue, after you have recently lost 11 lbs was too much. Yes, he is a doctor but you are paying for his services and, if he is not providing the service you are paying for, then take your business elsewhere and get a new doctor. Maybe, after he loses enough patients, he will understand that people need compliments more than complaints and a little compassion and customer service can go a long way. Yes, doctors do need to provide customer service too! It is hard enough to go to your annual OBGYN appt and spread it and bear all infront of him but to take that kind of verbal abuse is insane. He should be more sensitive.

tlrue

How terrible! Sure your doctor should be giving you objective directions/guidance, but that is certainly not how it should be done!

I just moved away from my OBGYN and she was wonderful... I moved to Chicago recently and have an appointment with the new doctor later this month.

Hoping for the best!

Jcrowe0317

Time to change doctors! If your doctor does not listen to you and does not encourage you then he is not good for you. I have been going to female doctors for 20 years. I find that female doctors listen and have more than likely gone through what you are going through. Good luck!

LittleSpy

I concur with the rest -- switch doctors. And when you call to have them transfer your file to your new doctor, explain the them EXACTLY why you've found a new doctor.

That said -- I know a lot of times I'm extremely overly sensitive about my weight and I take everything anyone says very personally whether they mean it that way or not. I wasn't there, obviously, but you may feel better if you reflect on it and try to look at it objectively (or, you may feel worse, like I said, I wasnt there). If the doc really did say you need to lose "at least" a pound a week when according to your ticker you only have 40 more pounds to lose, then yeah, the doc's an utter quack.

IbettR

Think about it... a male doc has absolutely no idea how you feel as a female. Just like I wouldn't see a female urologist. Not a question of sexism, it's just a question of relatability. She wouldn't have my hardware. He doesn't have yours. Good luck finding a better doc! They are out there!

vox779 is right on the money! That fool just wont ever understand you 100%. For too many reasons, please switch doctors :ohwell:

On a more important note.....CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:

c2mr5721

Best thing to do, call his office ask to speak to the office manager. Tell them exactly what this doctor did. Tell them you want your records copied for you and that you are firing this doctor and want your records (at no charge).

chocolateandvodka

hon, pick a new doc. i work for a large hospital company and before this spent several years working at a the 2nd largest private health insurance company in the US. That type of behavior from a health care provider is rude, unprofessional, and unacceptable. If this doctor was in any way recommended by your insurance company or by another physician i would suggest reporting the incident as well. These kinds of things are taken into consideration when it's time for contract negotiation.

honestly, it sounds like he was not focused on you, didn't pay attention to your chart and may have forgotten that he'd already covered the weight conversation with you. Sometimes when you see a doctor for a first visit or for a well exam, they aren't in a mindset to "treat" and therefore fall back on criteria based counseling. for instance if a patient is over a certain height/weight ratio then he automatically counsels them on weight loss regardless of other underlying issues. he may have looked at your BMI and just started rattling off a lecture out of habit.

Elokyn

Thanks so much to everyone for ya'lls input It means a lot

Your young, so you haven't had time for your skin to thicken a bit.......but I bet your MOM wishes she had been there

oh my mom was so pissed off, she was all "You better switch doctors!! Don't make me go up there and rip your records out of those idiots hands!!!" lol You don't know how true that sentence was!!

kiffypooh

As I'm sure everyone else has said, I hope you find a new dr and quickly! No one needs that! You deserve better then that.

Laceylala

I'm only replying because the term hasn't been used....that "doctor" is a total douche.


I'd find a female OB. I've been to some really nice male OB's as well when I was younger, then found my current female one and had my baby with her and everything. SO much better.

I'd also write a letter to the head person in charge at the medical establishment you went to. Human Resources, President, whatever you can find as high up the ladder as you can find as well about your experience.
I think sometimes because these doctors have these huge educations that they think they are somehow above the rest of of us non-all-knowing public and we are afraid to challenge them. But you know what? We pay their bills. Don't take that from him. I'd bet too that you aren't the only one he's offended either.

LotusF1ower

I went to my doctor on Wed......let me just specify this is my OBGYN....I'm just going for a yearly. Well I get there and he does whatever and is asking me while he's in the room the first time if I've been getting any exercise and I said yes and he asked if I've been eating right and I said yes and that I've lost 11lbs.....so he leaves the room and comes back and give me a lecture about how I need to be losing atleast a pound a week and goes off on me about my weight.....SERIOUSLY?!?! I understand that! And it's fine if a doctor wants to ask about it but he already knew I was doing something about it AND I am getting results and he still insisted on pushing the issue!!! Implying that he didnt think I was really doing both things because I'd be losing more if I were.... THEN I had super important questions I needed to ask him about my personal stuff and he embarrased me and had shocked me so much by saying that that I had to leave so I could go cry........Why was that okay?? And I even filled out a sheet when I got there that had a list of problems I'm having on it and he didnt even ask me about my problems...he basically just called me a fat *kitten* slapped my self esteem to the ground and totally ignored the reason I went there.......>.< That was a level of discouragement that I could have lived without.

If you can, change doctors. You can do without that. He gave you a lecture in the true sense of the word too - telling you what to do and going on and on and on about it even though you are fully aware of what to do and even better, you are already doing it!

Don't let him discourage you for goodness sake, he sounds like an insensitive bear with a sore head who doesn't listen.

Oh and to top it all, he doesn't even let you air your concerns about your problems.

I hope you find a much more suitable doctor, preferably one that doesn't make you feel worse than when you went in! xxx

TickledPurple

Oh dear! I know how you feel hun. I had this problem with my family doctor too - he's treated everyone from my great grandmother to my own babies. Last time I saw him I hadn't been in for a few years and he actually laughed at me, and told me he didn't recognise me because I'd gotten 'so fat'. I'd just miscarried twins at 20 weeks a few weeks before and I just ran from the room in tears - didn't even get my asthma medication prescription.

I switched doctors as I was too humiliated to go back, and my new one is great. Really supportive and friendly. I really hope your OBGYN puts on weight himself - at least then he'd be able to appreciate just how big an achievement 11lbs is!

And congrats on your weight loss hun, keep up the great work!

selbyhutch

I have been going to my PCP for 25 years. He knew me when I was an unhealthy 99 pounds, and has treated me all the way up to 175. Nary a word about my weight gain!!

Hi Jeannie! It's nice to see someone else has a great relationship with their male PCP for 25+ years. It really is fabulous. He's like an old friend and a big part of my life. He is also the doctor for many of my family members. He even attended my father's funeral.

To everyone else... we all have our preferences, but remember not to discount all male docs. Look at the success that Jeannie & I have with our doctors. :flowerforyou: