The Fat/Skinny/Fit triple standard

xMonroeMisfit
xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
in Chit-Chat
So i've noticed that a lot of thin/fit/skinny people take more heat and criticism than overweight/obese people.

Seriously. I mean why is it ok to say a fit person ( a woman with abs) is gross or manly or disgusting and then its not okay to say a fat person is gross or manly or disgusting?

I had put a picture up of a girl with abs (the day of her competition so she had a tan and serious definition due to carb cutting) and the comments were ridiculous (mind you, this isnt the first time ive put a picture up like that and heard ridiculous comments) and its funny how many overweight/obese FEMALES commented on how "gross" it was...

Had I been just as judgmental and hurtful as these people I couldve said, how would you feel if that pic you took at the beach the other day was commented with "gross" or "thats disgusting"...why do we live in such a country that people can't just allow people to do whatever it is they want with their bodies without judging them or passing ridiculous and hurtful comments? What happened to the do unto others?

I will always admire a female with abs...no matter how "attractive or non attractive" i feel it is...Its hard work and it takes a lot more dedication than sitting around and being overweight does.

I'm sick and tired of hearing how it is socially unacceptable (and possibly a law suit) to "harass" someone by saying theyre overweight, but its okay to criticize and harass a female competitors body....

Rant over.
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Replies

  • OhKelsey1
    OhKelsey1 Posts: 139
    I think that often stems from jealousy, and probably those people are frustrated because looking like that is so hard to acheive yet is considered beautiful by society. It's like how most people will pick on a really pretty girl--will sincerely TRY to find reasons to hate her. I've witnessed it and (shamefully) partcipated a few times.
  • xarge
    xarge Posts: 484 Member
    Exactly!

    People often confuse being rude with freedom of speech. I don't expect people to be politically correct but a little etiquette, remembering that the people you talk are humans just like you, a little dignity goes a long way. You don't have to like it, but choose yours better, people. I don't think it's a matter of limited vocabulary.
  • Meg_78
    Meg_78 Posts: 998 Member
    Nice post, and OP I just have to add; Girl your boobies are EPIC!
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
    Am i the only one who cant stop looking at her breasts long enough to read what shes talking about ?:bigsmile:
  • susiebear29
    susiebear29 Posts: 266
    totally agree with you!! i get told to put on weight and that I don't eat etc etc, im like er how the hell do you know what I eat or what I weigh?!!! it's never ok to make negative comments about people's weight/appearance in my opinion!! by the way your before and after pics are AMAZING well done!!!! :smile:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    Had I been just as judgmental and hurtful as these people I couldve said, how would you feel if that pic you took at the beach the other day was commented with "gross" or "thats disgusting"...

    if you post a photo then you're inviting opinions. actually anything that you post is invitation for opinions. and once you open up the door to opinions, then it's very possible that you're going to hear things you dont like or dont agree with. this isnt a new issue for the internet, this has been around since the humans have spoken publicly.

    people are free to have their opinions on anything. if you think something looks good then that should be enough. honestly too many women base their self esteem on other people's opinions. it's called SELF esteem for a reason. if that person is posting photos just to get some pats on the back then they have already failed in the self esteem department, regardless of what the responses are. their self esteem should be based on internal things, not on what some random strangers think.
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
    People are always going to ***** and moan about stuff. And additionally people are always going to have preferences for certain looks and defense mechanisms that make them feel less threatened by someone "attractive". One of my least favorite things about this site is how it's fine to bash thin people but not fat. Kinda hypocritical...

    I always take the mfp opinions of bodies with a grain of salt, the majority of people here (myself included) are or were overweight or obese...good chance that is going to change a lot about how body image and preferences are. Theres always a thread of people calling hard bodied fitness type women "nasty" and "manly looking" and tons of obese women saying guys prefer chunky.....right...sure...whatev....keep telling yourselves that.

    Personally I don't get why we can't appreciate multiple looks or body types. Or just be a bit more...polite in our choice of words. Theres lots of attractive people who aren't my preference and I put it just like that, not my type or not my cup of tea. But expecting people to act like they would face to face on the internet is just to much I suppose.

    Whoa. Novel status. Just had to add my longwinded opinion :)
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Nice post, and OP I just have to add; Girl your boobies are EPIC!

    I'm totally straight but damn girlfriend I could get lost in those boobies!!!

    But seriously, yeah it sucks to live in that double standard...I get hated on at the gym cuz I'm "that girl in the Lululemon". I'm not all cut and chiseled but I am proud of myself.

    I chalk it up to jealousy. I was like that too when I was a skinny fat Nicole Ritchie double.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Sometimes, I just sit around feeling my muscles. I can't believe they are there, and I can't believe how good I look. I think muscles on both men and women are sexy. Women who complain about fit/muscular women are simply jealous. I used to be. Until I became one of them.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stroke my own legs. :wink:
  • deaddivya
    deaddivya Posts: 102
    People on here won't tell a fat woman that she is fat because they probably aren't the slimmest too, so they don't want to say something about her built because they would insult themselves and their built at the same time. It's easy mocking at people who look like your complete opposite because you can always say 'that you don't like that kind of built on a woman', 'that you appreciate curves and woman who don't look manly', that gives you a reason to be in the size you are. I think that is to comfort themselves. Fit and thin people don't need to comfort themselves by letting down overweight people because they already are at their goal.
  • fueledbychange
    fueledbychange Posts: 132 Member
    I agree with you 100% ALL body shame is body shame. And it needs to stop.
  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Sometimes, I just sit around feeling my muscles. I can't believe they are there, and I can't believe how good I look. I think muscles on both men and women are sexy. Women who complain about fit/muscular women are simply jealous. I used to be. Until I became one of them.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stroke my own legs. :wink:

    I stroke my biceps and stare at my abs all day...actually I love touching myself..:tongue:
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Hello, boobs.....





    Anyway. Yes I agree. But whatever. I don't care what other people think I'm going to do what I want with my body.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Sometimes, I just sit around feeling my muscles. I can't believe they are there, and I can't believe how good I look. I think muscles on both men and women are sexy. Women who complain about fit/muscular women are simply jealous. I used to be. Until I became one of them.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go stroke my own legs. :wink:

    I stroke my biceps and stare at my abs all day...actually I love touching myself..:tongue:

    HA HA! YEP! My husband is like, "What are you doing?"

    I just wiggle my eye brows at him and continue stroking.
  • kdawn130
    kdawn130 Posts: 18
    Everybody has a different perception of what is attractive or sexy. Some are attractive to chubbier people while others prefer the anorexic looking women, and still others look for the strong, muscular women. Do the absolute best you can with what you were born with and who gives a s**t what everyone else thinks!
  • JeaninePaige
    JeaninePaige Posts: 464 Member
    Am i the only one who cant stop looking at her breasts long enough to read what shes talking about ?:bigsmile:

    Nope. O_o
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
    People on here won't tell a fat woman that she is fat because they probably aren't the slimmest too, so they don't want to say something about her built because they would insult themselves and their built at the same time. It's easy mocking at people who look like your complete opposite because you can always say 'that you don't like that kind of built on a woman', 'that you appreciate curves and woman who don't look manly', that gives you a reason to be in the size you are. I think that is to comfort themselves. Fit and thin people don't need to comfort themselves by letting down overweight people because they already are at their goal.

    Pretty much this!
  • BLSaw
    BLSaw Posts: 216 Member
    the only thing i got from this entire thread was boobs!!!! go figure!!
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
    the only thing i got from this entire thread was boobs!!!! go figure!!

    and stroking
  • BLSaw
    BLSaw Posts: 216 Member
    the only thing i got from this entire thread was boobs!!!! go figure!!

    and stroking
    i was about to, but then you popped up lol and ruined it
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Have thought the same many times, but couldn't have put it better myself.

    When I was much younger and very slim, people would comment on it and how I was too skinny and should eat more...I'm sure they would have loved me telling them they're too big and should eat less.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    One of my least favorite things about this site is how it's fine to bash thin people but not fat. Kinda hypocritical...

    This is kinda of an interesting comment, becuase aren't we on this site to get THIN!!! Some of us started sooner and have achieved that goal, and others are just starting.. Sooo I agree with you. It's silly.
  • smartmom0818
    smartmom0818 Posts: 83
    Nevermind.
  • kekl
    kekl Posts: 382 Member
    Good point OP.

    I just wish people would stop treating other people's bodies as 'public property' to comment and put their views about. Celebrities, models, random people, anyone.... That body belongs to the person living in it - whatever goes on in there is between that person and perhaps their doctor. End of story.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Nice post, and OP I just have to add; Girl your boobies are EPIC!

    see i was gonna say that but it sounds better from her #doublestandard...

    As for the triple standard, i agree wholeheartedly, its hypocrisy, we can dish but not take.
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member


    if you post a photo then you're inviting opinions. actually anything that you post is invitation for opinions. and once you open up the door to opinions, then it's very possible that you're going to hear things you dont like or dont agree with. this isnt a new issue for the internet, this has been around since the humans have spoken publicly.

    people are free to have their opinions on anything. if you think something looks good then that should be enough. honestly too many women base their self esteem on other people's opinions. it's called SELF esteem for a reason. if that person is posting photos just to get some pats on the back then they have already failed in the self esteem department, regardless of what the responses are. their self esteem should be based on internal things, not on what some random strangers think.


    I just put up the picture saying "this is my role model" and i feel like not only are you bringing down the person in the photo but youre trying to bring me down from what i view as a goal. I wasnt always slim, i was 220 lbs so to tell me that something is gross and i shouldnt aim for that body, uhhh nothing can be as gross as i looked at 220 lbs so i disagree.

    the problem wasnt that they had their own opinions, the problem was HOW they said it and the repulsiveness they acted out...it also happened to be from big girls.
  • tistal
    tistal Posts: 869 Member
    We are all here to get healthy. Everyone just need to be nice. Parts of me are fat, parts of me are skinny and parts of me are fit. I can pick apart myself better than anyone else so I just dont worry about others.

    Ditto on the boobage!!!
  • Savemyshannon
    Savemyshannon Posts: 334 Member
    I don't think any one type of body shame is worse or better than the other. ALL body shame is terrible and it has to stop. It hurts, no matter what. Skinny girls calling other girls lardo, big girls calling skinny girls twiggy, it's all horrible. We should not be dragging people down for any reason, especially for something as stupid as what they look like on the outside. Isn't it so much more important that women are intelligent, funny, driven, successful, or a million other things before worrying about if they're 'too big' or 'too thin' or 'too muscular'?

    I've always been a big girl and it has always bothered me how some (some, not all) "fat positive" sites take to bashing skinny women. I once saw a joke on one about "things fat girls can do that skinny girls can't: digest food." Really?
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    I don't think any one type of body shame is worse or better than the other. ALL body shame is terrible and it has to stop. It hurts, no matter what. Skinny girls calling other girls lardo, big girls calling skinny girls twiggy, it's all horrible. We should not be dragging people down for any reason, especially for something as stupid as what they look like on the outside. Isn't it so much more important that women are intelligent, funny, driven, successful, or a million other things before worrying about if they're 'too big' or 'too thin' or 'too muscular'?

    I've always been a big girl and it has always bothered me how some (some, not all) "fat positive" sites take to bashing skinny women. I once saw a joke on one about "things fat girls can do that skinny girls can't: digest food." Really?

    Amen. Why can't people just stop with the comments already?
  • Priincess_Natalie
    Priincess_Natalie Posts: 367 Member
    So i've noticed that a lot of thin/fit/skinny people take more heat and criticism than overweight/obese people.

    Seriously. I mean why is it ok to say a fit person ( a woman with abs) is gross or manly or disgusting and then its not okay to say a fat person is gross or manly or disgusting?

    I had put a picture up of a girl with abs (the day of her competition so she had a tan and serious definition due to carb cutting) and the comments were ridiculous (mind you, this isnt the first time ive put a picture up like that and heard ridiculous comments) and its funny how many overweight/obese FEMALES commented on how "gross" it was...

    Had I been just as judgmental and hurtful as these people I couldve said, how would you feel if that pic you took at the beach the other day was commented with "gross" or "thats disgusting"...why do we live in such a country that people can't just allow people to do whatever it is they want with their bodies without judging them or passing ridiculous and hurtful comments? What happened to the do unto others?

    I will always admire a female with abs...no matter how "attractive or non attractive" i feel it is...Its hard work and it takes a lot more dedication than sitting around and being overweight does.

    I'm sick and tired of hearing how it is socially unacceptable (and possibly a law suit) to "harass" someone by saying theyre overweight, but its okay to criticize and harass a female competitors body....

    Rant over.

    Well said and you are my new hero! :flowerforyou:

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