"anorexic arms, thick thighs"

Moniqua1
Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Ok, so this last friday I went out to a bar with a friend of mine I haven't seen in awhile. I was excited to see her and show her my progress until she started putting me down. I had told her that I wanted to firm my stomach and she agreed I should. Then she went off on me about how my arms, chest, and shoulders look anorexic. *sigh* later that night, guy my friend had been talking to came over and summed the three of us up in 3 words. He pointed to one friend and said "you're angry", to my other friend "you're.sexy", and to me, "you're Serena Williams" I was like WHAT?! His friend explained quickly, "because you got them thick thighs" UGH! Later on that night some guy told me I wasn't his type because I'm too skinny. I know everyone has their own type, but I felt beat up on the whole night! How do I slim my thighs to be more proportionate to my upper body? I do cardio, do I continue with it? I'm going to start strength training with my arms. what can I do to also firm my stomach? please help! I skipped the gym 2 days in a row because I just felt like I was screwing up... :(
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Replies

  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    why are you spending time with these morons, or letting them even remotely influence how you think or feel about yourself? What idiots!
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    Just flicking through your pics, and I notice only 2 things. You have an extremely pretty face, and a lovely shape.

    It sounds to me like the men were trying to play some weird little head games (putting you down to get 'in' with your friend?) and that female friend really *isn't* a friend at all.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    I think she was just concerned, but alcohol screwed up the delivery?
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    I think she was just concerned, but alcohol screwed up the delivery?

    You're a forgiving friend, and definitely worth keeping, I hope your criticising friend and her bunch of guy friends realise that. xxx
  • StrawberrySprinkles
    StrawberrySprinkles Posts: 90
    later that night, guy my friend had been talking to came over and summed the three of us up in 3 words. He pointed to one friend and said "you're angry", to my other friend "you're.sexy", and to me, "you're Serena Williams" I was like WHAT?! His friend explained quickly, "because you got them thick thighs" UGH! Later on that night some guy told me I wasn't his type because I'm too skinny. I know everyone has their own type, but I felt beat up on the whole night!

    I think my reply to that particular guy would have been something along the lines of: "I can sum you up in one word: d*ck."

    I don't have any answers for you as I'm battling my own demons. However, don't seek your validation from anyone except yourself. You can't control what other people think about you (including your friend who doesn't seem that great) and you should definitely not conform to someone else's idea of what's acceptable. You only know you and that's all there is to it. Always try to make yourself happy.

    If someone is going to reject you solely based on a quick glance and feel comfortable enough to tell you this to your face.........then.......they aren't worth your time and effort.
  • NotThePest
    NotThePest Posts: 164
    You have an identity problem, you are allowing others to tell you who you are and from your description of the night/event, you have attracted people who are willing to define you to your determent. Let me give you a working definition of a friend.

    A Friend is someone who knows everything about you and STILL likes you. You really need to cut those losers off, say, "See Ya," take time to find out who you really are, learn to love yourself for who you are and what you can be, not go looking for what others are saying you should be.

    I'm only seeing your side of the scenario but from my own experience, you should go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. And let me leave you with another little saying, a truism:

    Love desires to benefit others at the expense of self; lusts desires to benefit self at the expense of others, and I'm not talking about "sex."
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    I don't think I would be hurt if I didn't already feel the same way. Just to hear someone else say it.....hurt.
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    The only thing out of proportion here is your self-confidence.

    Maybe stop seeking the approval of drunk idiots?
  • StrawberrySprinkles
    StrawberrySprinkles Posts: 90
    We always judge ourselves the hardest. We can't see ourselves through the eyes of the people who love us. That said, if we could, we wouldn't beat ourselves up in the manner that we do. :flowerforyou:

    Just because they said it doesn't mean that it's true either. Sometimes we don't realize that we wear our insecurities on our sleeves for everyone to see. :blushing:

    Perhaps there was some jealousy on your friends part because you're trying to better yourself? I know jealousy and envy are easy fall backs in these situations, but you're cute. Really cute! Don't let anyone else stop you from feeling that way.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Thanks, but my concern here, really, is to find those exercises that slim thighs and firm stomachs. I had planned on toning up anyway, maybe I should have left out the back story that kind of made me even more determined to do so.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Just flicking through your pics, and I notice only 2 things. You have an extremely pretty face, and a lovely shape.

    It sounds to me like the men were trying to play some weird little head games (putting you down to get 'in' with your friend?) and that female friend really *isn't* a friend at all.

    That. All of that. ^
  • zealousmissjj_wechange
    zealousmissjj_wechange Posts: 445
    I don't have a lot to say except: YOU HAVE A GREAT BODY!! I just looked at your pictures and I have NO IDEA what those 'friends' of yours are talking about... :huh:
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Wow what a bunch of creeps to speak to you like that, clearly they had the body of Gods and had the right to judge you in this rude manner. Please try not to take to heart what was said to you. :flowerforyou:
  • HonorSummers
    HonorSummers Posts: 2
    I think you look great! :)
  • skinnylove00
    skinnylove00 Posts: 662 Member
    The only thing out of proportion here is your self-confidence.

    Maybe stop seeking the approval of drunk idiots?

    this.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    You do look look lovely. But ok you want thigh and stomach stuff - squats and lunges, alongside a good cardio routine?
  • lady_in_weighting
    lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
    hey hun, i have the same problem figure wise. i have a small bony upper body and my thighs are bigger. im a uk 8 in tops and a uk size 10 on the lower half. i think we are simply just pear shape. recently at the gym i have been doing a little amount of cardio and doing weights for my upper body. sit ups are good fro toning your stomach. using the rowing machine is good cardio and brilliant for adding bulk to arms and back muscles at the same time. i would really recommend that (:
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    I looked at your pics and from what I can see your thighs are FAR from "thick"!! You shouldn't listen to those jerks!! Who cares what they think? What's important is what YOU think. However, if you're really not happy with your thighs you could always try Jillian Michaels dvd killer buns and thighs. That worked for me.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Thanks! A few things she pointed out were my shoulder blades stick out of my back ( I thought that was kinda normal, and I liked it), my chest plate is visible ( I lost my boobs :( ) not so cool, but not sure how to fix that. I knew that wasn't cute.
  • Maddyjoe
    Maddyjoe Posts: 8
    The only thing out of proportion here is your self-confidence.

    Maybe stop seeking the approval of drunk idiots?

    this.

    Ha. I'm a guy and I gotta agree with this. I mean, you're all gung-ho about working on those parts of your body. Great, that's awesome, but you're only going to do it because of what they said and not because of what you actually feel. Don't kid yourself. You won't be doing it for you. Remember, confidence is sexy.

    Now, about what you asked about. You know you can't spot reduce. Just keep doing what you're doing, add them weights, and stop thinking about what those drunk people said.
  • UnpredictablyPretty21
    UnpredictablyPretty21 Posts: 117 Member
    Whoa, sweetie.... All I can say is that you are SMOKIN HOT!!!!!!!!! Your friends arent really friends if they are saying stuff like that!!!! I dont care if alcohol is the reason for it. I had friends like that and now I have nothing to do with them, turns out they were jealous. I have a tiny upper body and big thighs as well... I guess we have to deal with it and love ourselves for who we are :) stuff everyone else!!! you keep up the great work xo
  • josiejopalmer
    josiejopalmer Posts: 4 Member
    Planks and side planks are really good for toning tummies! As long as you can (at least a minute, build up to 2) in each of the 3 positions every morning and it'll do wonders!
  • ang3h
    ang3h Posts: 185 Member
    I usually take "advice" from female friends with a grain of salt...women can be incredibly catty to each other and can let jealousy get the best of them.

    And I would take being compared to a female athlete as a compliment ;)

    You look great, girly!
  • wgn4166
    wgn4166 Posts: 771 Member
    You sound like me. I have small arms, small stomach, thick hips and thighs. If I buy jeans to fit my legs and butt, they are super huge in the waist.!!
  • alltacht
    alltacht Posts: 139 Member
    You look beautiful in your pics. I have the opposite problem. Massive arms, big boobs and a belly. But no *kitten* or thighs. Even after losing about 30lbs its like its all from the waist down! Arms and tummy like yours are like a dream to me :)
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    28DD, 24.5 inch waist, 36 inch butt lol

    I'm the same body type as you and of all things to worry about I don't worry about that lol. Tho finding pants that dont stick off at the back is a pain and finding a bra is impossible.

    Your in your 30s, your beautiful, you can't be everything everyone wants all the time. Embrace the hotness. Stop thinking like a teenage girl :p you have nothing to worry about
  • Dino924
    Dino924 Posts: 47 Member
    I'm just starting to accept that I really can't change the shape the of my body, no matter what I weigh, the shape is the same!

    Doing heavy squats and lunges on the smith machine makes my hips, butt and thighs a little slimmer. Lifting weights makes my upper body bigger though, I usually need to go up a band size on my bra when I lift a lot, everyone's different though!

    I have short torso and long legs, so my legs aren't thick, but my waist is :-(

    And I think you look great!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    It sounds like those guys have been listening to those player-type dating experts that tell men to reel 'em in by making women feel insecure. Ignore them and hand with people with a bit more respect for others.
  • Meganalva
    Meganalva Posts: 282 Member
    I think you look wonderful! Who cares what they even think? Sound like jerks to me. You don't look "anorexic" at all. You look healthy!
  • A_Shannigans
    A_Shannigans Posts: 170 Member
    I can see where you might want to tighten your tummy... other than that you look fine to me... even there you look like you just need a little tightening...of course it's what YOU think that matters. Plenty of ab exercises out there. Crunches and planks ect... I liked the rowing machine idea for the arms.

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