Cold shoulder by co-worker because of weight loss

sempertracy · July 2012

Has anyone dealt with a co-worker who has turned difficult after you have started to lose weight? It wasn't always like this. I was a pork chop (now just a slimmer pork chop) when I started my new position about 6 months ago, however I started to lose weight in May (and continue to do so) and am down 27 lbs. I run, but was off for 6 months due to a hip injury (bursitis) and oh how the weight comes back on when you don't exercise. I'm back to running, cycling and working our with a trainer to get back in shape. I also walk the stairs during my morning break for additional exercise.

My co-worker sits at her computer through breaks (sometimes we are so busy we don't take them and they are not set breaks just state law requires the employer to give us them) and browses facebook or shops. When I ask her to go for a quick walk she always says she can't as she is doing something but when I come back she's sitting on facebook. My Director told me about 2 months ago how my co-worker tracks my in's and out's.

During this time and especially RIGHT NOW my co-worker is SO hard to work with. When I leave for lunch to go to the gym I walk the long way around so I don't have to pass her office. My breaks and lunch time are my time for stress relief but my co-worker is making them more stressful. Any suggestions?

Homa24 · July 2012

Very odd that your Director would talk to you about her reports - that just adds to the hostile work environment. It is the Director's job to acknowledge her report and let her know you've cleared your Wednesday schedule with the appropriate procedure.

It is no fun feeling like someone is watching and judging you all the time, hard to ignore as well. It could be that she feels people are judging her (not that you are, but sometimes people lash out when they're wary of the exact behavior they are guilty of). If it is making you change your routine to avoid her then it is time to talk to your director and ask them to sit in on a meeting with you and your coworker so it is documented - tell her how you feel and ask if she has any ideas on how to resolve the situation. Sounds cheesy I know but I'd hate for you to try to have a heart to heart with her only to have her lie about what was said if no one else was present.

Sorry you have to deal with this and congrats on your hard work!

newmooon56 · July 2012

also sorry you have to deal with this. your director failed when he didnt come to you with the complaints. same thing happened to my son at his work- co worker said he saw my son do X and they never asked my son if it was true or where he was when X happened - just dealt with him as if it was true. He gave his notice and they are scrambling apologizing and asking HIM if they can have a do over so to speak. Hes moving on from that type of romper room office BS. Go above your bosses head if you have to- this is absolutely unacceptable if you ask me. Or talk to your boss if you think you can. Keep on being you - and stand your ground for whats right. If you are approved to do as you do- let it be with the co worker jerk.

On a side note- had a friend that would be down right rude and even mean after my hour at the gym. Crappy comments about how shes 10 years older than me and has no celulite- even without working out. If I beat a time on the road- shed tell me how 25 yrs ago- she could do half my time and that I need to work on it if I want to be half as good as she ever was. Meanwhile while she was saying all this, while eating MnMs and being about 40#s overweight and smoking- she was cutting our ties. We no longer speak. I cant have toxic ppl in my life- I did a life cleanse and removed her like a piece of corn stuck in my bowel. Nasty ppl need to be ignored or cut from life- life is too short for unhealthy unhappy counter productive dead weights.

d2footballJRC · July 2012

Just keep doing your thing. Some people are just never going to be pleased. Some people just like to see the world burn. Those people you just have to ignore!

MinnieInMaine · July 2012

Ugh, office BS... You have every right to take the breaks you do. As long as your Director is aware of when you're going and is ok with it, that's the only thing you have to be concerned about. If you're really worried, ask your Director to mediate a discussion between you and this co-worker to clear the air. Otherwise ignore her and be the better person.

minkakross · July 2012

when we are excited about our weight loss and exercise we sometimes forget how we sound or are viewed by other people. Consider that while you were asking her to walk with you while she was surfing the net what she probably heard or felt was that you were judging her for being fat because she was surfing the net. I'm not saying that keeping tabs on you isn't wrong but she may feel like you slighted her first and her actions may be defensive. Try the previous posters suggestion of a sit down with a witness and maybe even open up with an apology for having gotten something mixed up along that way that now both of you no longer talk, listen to what she says and own it and share how you feel having to sneak in your own office just to take a break. You may or may not get to the bottom of things but at least you can offer the olive branch if she wants to take it maybe you can decrease the tension in the office.

sabrina32576 · July 2012

My coworker is always saying I shouldn't lift weights or run. Basically she wants to be center of attention. Good news is that's shes leaving this job this week. Yay. I just ignore her and do my thing.

essjay76 · July 2012

Haters gonna hate. None of her business to clock watch while you do your thing. The workplace should promote a healthy environment, not one that tries to bring you down.

Cold shoulder by co-worker because of weight loss

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