Out of curiosity....

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  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Flirting is not a form of cheating, it **IS** cheating. IMO, any kind of activity involving the opposite sex that you purposely keep secret from your spouse is cheating!!!
  • gwduker
    gwduker Posts: 293
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    I am not one who usually airs my laundry to the outside world, but at this point I have no friends and I have no family. My husband and my son are all that I have. I do not want anyone to misunderstand. I did not and will not ever leave my family. My son is my purpose for being. This is something that my husband has decided to do. This past Friday, he decided that he needed a break from the stress that my son and I apparently put upon him. We are not allowed to go anywhere with him, not even so much as a drive to the grocery store. After working all day, he then comes home and says that he needs a break and off he goes. I have been with him for 6 years and up until 2 1/5 years ago, I am the one that worked and he stayed home to do as he wanted. I then had my son and he moved us to another state to run from the addictive demons of his past life. The demons that I stood by him and helped him fight off. I have always believed that when it comes to cheating, if it is something done or said that cannot be done or said in front of you SO, than it is cheating. I have been cheated on and have forgiven many times. I cannot just up and leave. I have no money, no car and no access to either. I am just going through the emotions and trying to maintain a stable life for my son and fake a pretty smile. I appreciate everyones advice. I think that is why I came here, top get an unbiased opinion.

    Sounds like MY ex. Cut your losses. Move your money, cancel credit cards, change locks. Leave the looser and get on with your life with your son. Been there, done that.
  • lydia_the_tattooed_lady
    lydia_the_tattooed_lady Posts: 324 Member
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    Flirting is harmless to me, its pretty naive to think because you're with someone you suddenly find no one else attractive, or no one finds you so. The infidelity comes from the lying, inappropiate tones, and of course acting on said flirtation

    I agree with this ^ ^ it's innocent until you make it otherwise!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Sounds to me like he's cheating and a child. I'd consult a lawyer and a counselor, he can take his pick which one he talks to.
  • JMPerlin
    JMPerlin Posts: 287 Member
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    people don't take "breaks" from their kids like that. if you need a break, get a massage or get out of the house for an afternoon.

    you don't leave them.

    and I don't know if it's YOU or your spouse or friends or whatever...but, besides the issue of if it's flirting or cheating...

    HOW ABOUT ITS ABANDONING THE CHILDREN that's the biggest issue.

    GROW THE F UP. (to whoever is doing the leaving)

    I agree with this! That is what the NFL season or whatever sport you enjoy, along with gyms, message therapists, man caves, and national parks are for.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    If he's a previous addict, there's a possibility that this person he went to be with is also a user and he's fallen off the wagon. Or his addiction has shifted from one thing to another. Still not acceptable as far as I am concerned. I am married to a recovering addict and I can tell you that if he ever had pulled what your husband has pulled, I wouldn't still be married to him.

    You and your child deserve better than what you've got going on right now.
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
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    OMG poor you, I just read your follow up post - which didn't post when I posted mine - so mine sounded horrible!

    You definitely don't deserve what he's doing. It's great you stood beside him through some things, but you can't always keep standing by and holding his hand. He'll have to be let go. :( It has nothing to do with you, it's all him. you couldn't have done anything differently, said anything differently, whatever....there's nothing to blame on your part. period!

    I'm sure your heart is breaking and it's a horrible spot to be in. I wish I had more answers because the reality of it is that resources can be difficult - if it means a roof over your head and food on your table, let him go and let him do whatever until you can get things together for you and your son. You need to make arrangements. And it sucks that he's leaving you in such a predicament. If he's gone, he's gone. But, you still need to make sure you have things for you and your son.

    You could kindly suggest counseling - but the reality of that might be slim to none. Does he have any friends you could confide in and they could speak to him? do you have family you could stay with?

    I really wish you the best, it's a tough spot and I'm so sorry. :(
  • duell55
    duell55 Posts: 12 Member
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    Friend, it isn't my business, but it sounds like whatever happens you need a community of friends who love you and your family unconditionally. We all need that. Honestly, the place where I have found people take care of each other well is church. Christians certainly aren't perfect, and they certainly are hypocrites, but aren't we all?

    Try the local United Methodist Church. I go to one myself. I'm sure you could even take the family in and talk with the pastor for a listening ear.
  • NJGmywholewrld
    NJGmywholewrld Posts: 123 Member
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    Just want to take a moment and say thanks for all of the advice. I am in a clearer state of mind now. I have taken steps to continue with best possible life for my son and I. If my husband is on board, than great! If not, I cannot help him any longer. He needs to help himself. Again, thank you...and please know that the advice did not fall at deafs ear.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Pssh, sounds legit to me!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Sounds like a Lifetime movie.
  • NJGmywholewrld
    NJGmywholewrld Posts: 123 Member
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    I wish that I was living a Lifetime movie. I would then just be able to magically pick up, pack up my fancy car, call my BFF and escape to some island for some rest and relaxation. Yea, don't I wish.

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