Not pregnant, just fat

Totally understand. I had not seen a friend of mine for several months due to busy schedules. Apparently she saw me out someplace but did not say hello. She later saw my mom and asked her to tell me congrats. My mother asked her what she was congratulating me for. At the point the she told my mom to congratulate me on being preggers, my mother almost fainted. Mom thought I was preggers and had not told her. Needless today, later I got a very upset mother calling me, which turned into a very embarassed me. I hadn't even realized I had ained enough weight to be confused by a friend that I was preggers. *face palm* I am working on a new me now.... feeling better every day.

Feel free to add me if you need more support.

I have been asked 3 times this year, once in a round-about way. A friend that I hadn't seen in a while went out of his way to come up to me to say "Congratulations," I said "for what?" He looked at me funny and said "for this beautiful day." I totally saw right through that but nice try.

The worst is when you are so dumbfounded that you don't even think to respond quick enough. One day at lunch time, I was in the elevator at work, with a plate of food (not a large plate of food either). We frequently have elevator issues in our building so you are always worried that you will get stuck in it. Of course it was also crowded, this lady says to me, "if we get stuck in here we can all share your lunch." Then as she goes to get off on her floor, turns to me and says "Good thing we didn't get stuck, I could never take food from a pregnant lady." How incredibly rude. I didn't get to respond because I was in shock.

Also had this happen to a coworker, a patient asked her when she was due. She said "No children for me," then the lady said "oh, well children are wonderful." My coworker being the smarty pants that she is says "It's not my choice."

I think the best solution for this epidemic of stupid, rude people is to make them feel so bad for asking.


Talk about motivation.

You know girls, it's as much the fault of these awful shirts ya'll seem to be wearing (and I know it's all the stores sell). When a shirt is cinched below the shest and loose below, even a supermodel is gonna look like she has a bump.

This is true. When I was pregnant, half my "maternity" shirts were just regular shirts because everything has that empire waist lately.

That being said, (((hugs))) to ALL of you ladies, and I hope you all use these hurtful experiences to fuel your fire and determination to get healthy and reach your goals!! I had some very hurtful comments when I was heavier, and I finally learned that even though you can't control other people's thoughtlessness, you CAN control your response to it. If you let it get you down and keep you down, they win. But if you use that experience to make yourself stronger, tougher, and fitter, YOU win. :flowerforyou:

This happened to me recently. My boyfriend and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas, and one night we attended the Captain's Dinner. We were dressed formally and I felt like we looked nice, so I asked someone to take some pictures. I posted them on facebook once we came back, and a woman that I used to babysit for emailed my boyfriend on FB. (I was logged on to his at the time). She said, congratulations! you look like yall had fun! i didn't know jessica was pregnant! ....

i just looked at the message and i said, she isn't pregnant...

I had never been so hurt in my life.

Reading this gave me a great sense of camaraderie. I so feel for all of you. People can be so clueless--it is not polite to ask about a woman's reproductive habits in any case! I can't even count how many times I've been asked such things (almost always by other women)--even when I was in high school and swam for ~4 hours each day and was much thinner. I know I carry all of my weight in my chest and stomach, but still. The worst is when someone tries to give up their seat for me on the bus or train--that hurts the most because they are just trying to be polite. Usually I would just go home and cry after something like this happened, but the last time someone asked me, it really motivated me to take charge of my habits. I joined MFP shortly after.

This has happened to me 4 times! (

Once was on my birthday, my boyfriend bought me a facial and I went in and laid down on the table and the lady said "You didn't fill out in the paper work that you are pregnant".... I said "im not" and during the entire facial I had to fight back tears.

WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

Well... I guess I can now add #5 to my list. Just happened AGAIN 2 days ago (

Got asked that question at Christmas by my husbands aunt. My response was "No just fat!!!" She said that her daughter has heard from someone that I was. Haha very funny!! Totally know where you are coming from. You can lose that weight. Seems we are trying for about the same goal, mine is 75 and I have lost 19 so far. Good Luck!

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This has happened to me twice... its pretty mortifyingly embarassing... yuck. Would love the support to!