Grrrrr - people just don't understand

The best thing ever was finding out I was gluten intolerant. Now when people try to push cake, donuts, crap on me I just say "Sorry I can't have gluten" and that ends it. You should still be able to find some restaurants with healthy things for you to eat, then when someone suggests going out you can have some choices ready of where to go.

I definitely know the feeling! I have to keep reminding my fiance that I'm trying to eat healthier so no, I do not want that delicious donut you brought home or half a frozen pizza! I also just had a friend in town and she wanted to go out to eat twice in one day which for me has become a no-no. I ended up just trying to eat less and eat a somewhat healthier option. That's the best you can do. It's not fun to turn down hanging out with friends just because you're "on a diet". I know it's tough to make good choices when everyone around you is chowing down on their fatty fried food and chugging their sugary drinks, but it's something you have to just do. It gets better with time! And for the record, I haven't cut anything TOTALLY out of my diet. I just do my best to stay within my calories and eat healthier as much as I can.

People can't sabotage you unless you let them. You are control over your body, you are in control over what goes in it, if you eat something that the person who you are saying is sabotaging you, then you sabotaged yourself by not flexing your will power. Of course it's hard sometimes, but I didn't lose 113lbs by letting people control my food intake. My husband isn't on this with me, but if I cook dinner I cook what I can eat and he either will eat it or he'll cook his own dinner, he isn't picky though. We have family get together's and I ask what we're having before we go so I can work it out in my calories. There are ways around the people you say sabotage, if that is what you think they are doing, always have a back up plain. Take control of the situation.

It is hard when most of our social activities revolve around food and eating. What I have found useful is to suggest meeting up for a walk, or meeting in the gym. This is not always possible, so I either exercise my own restraint and just order the lightest thing on the menu, or just go with the flow, just for that one day - it won't hurt. Better to do that than to offend your friends who, after all may not be making the same lifestyle and health choices as you currently are.

Whilst it might be true that some people try to sabotage our efforts to be healthy - I think most of the time, it is just habit that we turn to food during social activities - it's what brings people together. You can still enjoy that, but in your own way, and allow others to enjoy it their way perhaps?

Nobody can force you to eat something if you do not want it - just as long as you are strong willed enough to do what you need to do for yourself.

The one thing I really don't want to become this time round is a diet bore. This time I am actually understanding the whole "lifestyle change" thing. But I've been where you are, and all I want to say is just be careful. It's great that you're changing for yourself, but it doesn't mean everyone around you will appreciate or even care about your diet! Maybe they just like you for you!
You can go out and make healthy choices, you can say no to donuts and cakes. But don't stop socialising with people who were with you before you started your lifestyle change, and who will hopefully be with you after.

I'm with those who say you can indulge once in a while and still lose weight/maintain a healthy weight.

I try to go on a 80/20 rule. 80% is healthy, fruit veg protein and low GI carbs, but I allow myself a few treats if my friends go out, if there is a birthday, whatever. I look at it over the week not just on a daily basis, if I am under for the week then I know I'm OK overall. And I take a diet break if I go on holiday.

It's healthy to eat healthy, and be conscious of what goes in your body, but it's also not so healthy to be obsessed with calorie counting. It depends if your friends go to junk food type places or decent food places - if my friends wanted to go to McDonalds or BK I wouldn't go or eat there for health and ethical reasons, I am celiac so I can eat very little there anyway. But I find in most non fast food places there are healthier options, you can ask for a plain grilled chicken breast or steak without butter, sauce etc or ask for just lemon juice for your salad, have a jacket potato instead of fries. This is how I manage to eat out as a celiac, because gluten will make me ill so I often have to avoid sauces and things like that, and fries are often fried in the same oil as other things that contain gluten.
Which has the happy effect of also making the food lower in calories!

You just have to be smart about it - restaurants these days are used to people with allergies/special diets, so they will cater for you if you ask for something to be adapted. I'd say avoid fast food and processed/sugary nasties, but if someone brings a nice home made birthday cake in, share a slice with someone, have a small piece, and go out for the odd nice meal. Just pick and choose the important occasions you want to participate in and make as healthy a choice as possible when you do.