Grrrrr - people just don't understand

stagknight

I spent months pointing out to my friends we had become boring middle aged stay at homes. In other words what we said we would never be. Finally we decided we would make an effort to go out once in a while. So my friends birthday is coming up and I will have to explain I can't drink as it's full of calories. He's gonna call me an old woman!

addy_rodriguez

It's always incredibly annoyed me that most outings HAVE to revolve around food! UGH why cant it be "hey lets go out for a job" or "a bike ride"

cmeade20

I know how you feel. People finally seem to be getting it through their heads but for awhile I was no fun anymore because I wasn't willing to go out to eat 4 or 5 times a week. Stick to your guns and when people buy you treats you think you'll lose your will power around give them away or throw them out. I just gave my nephew an entire half gallon of chocolate chip ice cream to bring home with him that my mom bought for me. Why she bought it is beyond me. I'm not saying I'll never have ice cream again but I don't need an entire half gallon for myself in the freezer. If I want some I'll go to an ice cream place and get a small cup. You may need to explain this to some people.

NoxDineen

I'm a bit lucky since we're currently in the middle of a body fat loss contest at work and I can easily decline any of the yummy free food by saying I want to win.

In other situations I just point out specifically why I don't want to eat a certain food item. Or if people are being too demanding a simple "No thanks, I like wearing size 4 more than I like X"

MyOwnSunshine

I reply by saying:

"That place doesn't work very well for me, but how about (insert restaurant here)?"

"I try to limit my sweets to the weekends, maybe we can get some then?"

"That's so nice of you to offer, but I brought my lunch and snacks from home."

"I appreciate it, but I try to plan out my food for the day and stick to the plan. It's really working for me."

"No thanks, I'm watching what I'm eating, but it is so thoughtful of you to offer. It really looks amazing!"

You don't have to turn everything down. Life goes on while you're losing weight, and if you plan ahead, you should be able to eat out or fit in a treat once in a while if you so desire. If you don't want to deviate from your plan, just politely decline. It's your job to decide what to eat and what to limit. Other people are so wrapped up in their own lives and agendas that most of the time they don't know what the heck you're doing, anyway.

You don't owe them any apologies or explanations. Do what you're gonna do and move on. :-)

nxd10

Habits are hard to break.

I've been 'on the wagon' for about 50 days, and even my fiance, who I see about 10 hours a day, forgets and buys me crap food that I used to love.

People like to share tasty food, and often give food to show love! Just be patient with them, and keep the thick skin, you're doing awesome!

Yeah, my wonderful husband, who spends way too much time listening to me talk about MFP, made me a great shrimp snack and a martini after dinner last night even though he knew I had 3 calories left for the day.

Sigh.

But he just called me and asked if it was okay to cook lentils even though they were high carb.

---

It's worse at work.

They're not torturing you. They're just thoughtless.

And you really can eat out. You just have to pick what you eat, don't eat too much (I love ordering appetizers), and save up your calories.

It IS a lifestyle.

lildawtie

Keep away from people that don't want to listen to you! They basically don't care about you and your health!
I had some co-workers that will have pot lucks and will fill up a plate with tons of food and then will put it in front of my face!! and then they will go "oh I'm sorry I forgot you are on a diet" when I had been on a diet for the last month and they even asked me about what type of diet I was on and they will make comments like "I don't have the will power that you have to do it"!! So, until you feel strong to be arround people that are eating normal find a diet friend you can hang out with!! It could be a walking partner as well!! Good luck and don't give in!!! YOU ARE WORTH LOOSING THE WEIGHT!!!!! YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!

Katahna

I know the feeling! But after a while they seem to stop offering me food which is great, but you can treat it as an off day on a special occasion.

Birthdays were invented before cake, so who says you have to have it.

missypoo1974

**** also, doggie bags at restaurants are your friend! They have helped me eat out without going nuts.

So true! I usually ask for a box when they bring me my food. Then I can portion out what I want and put the rest away. It's much easier to not overdo it that way.

My hubby is doing his best to understand. He went to the store the other day and wanted to get something special for me.....he ended up getting sugar free ice pops. He's trying.

kdlion

I heard that you can eat out and still lose weight by allowing yourself 400 calories per meal. I live in CA and our large restaurants have to post the calorie content of food. It makes it easy to choose a grilled chicken salad, instead of choosing the deep fried chicken salad. Hope you are able to keep up the good work. No one really can make you eat, but they can tempt us a lot. Good Luck.

Firephoenix013

My biggest down fall is starbucks and chipotle. I LOVE them. My boyfriend this weekend kept telling me I was doing so good and deserved a treat because I've been working so hard at my weight loss and I should go get one. I'm like oh hell no. NO. No no no no no no. If I go I'm gonna be like VENTI ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!! No. So I didn't go even though we drove past it like 3 times.......then today I got really upset over some stuff and usually my calm me down was a caramel maccihoto or however the heck you spell it at Starbucks. I had to tell myself NO numerous times. My other hard part is when you go out to eat and everyone goes omg eat this I can't eat it all omg and it's the gee umm no I really can't bit. It's hard and some people just don't get it, but it's possible.

TheRealParisLove

Oh, I think they understand just fine. But if you are successful in your efforts to lose weight and get healthy, they will in turn view themselves as failures for not doing just that.

The saboteurs are everywhere. You must be vigilant to resist them. Go to the restaurants and order according to your eating plan. I have dinner plans for Wednesday night, and I have already scoped out the menu online. I've selected my dinner, saved a note in my phone on what I'm going to order, and then I'm not even going to crack my menu, I'll just order and eat what I planned.

Last night, when I ordered my dinner, I asked the waiter to put half of my meal in a to-go box. The whole meal was over 1000 calories! If half of that never actually made it onto my plate, then I was able to resist eating all 1000 calories. My husband took the other half for his lunch today.

Good luck!

mmapags

If your eating plan is so restrictive that you can't go out with your friends and have fun, I'd reconsider my plan and come up with something that is easier to comply with. As far as donuts and vending machine treats, just tell them in firm but humorous ways to get that s*** away from you!! When you go out, make good choices. This should be a change in habits and attitude toward food not a vow of abstinence!

joannathechef

Yep - that is life...I am really lucky I work at a Fresh Fruit company where the boss & cafe are all about healthy eating - you can not go wrong....
No red meat just chicken and fish
No sugar drinks
Low fat vegi soups
Nothing but whole grains
Diet dressings
low fat cheese
There is not a bad choice here.....just wait for me to get home:glasses:

texaricangirasol

Try to think back. They maybe inviting you just like they did before. They are not doing it just because you have made a change to healthy eating. Before we just didn't notice beacuse we were not counting calories or watching what we eat, etc. e

I have not stop eating out. I just look at the menus at the places i like or are near where i will be for work that day. I pick something healthier. Even if i am craving a burger... i just look to see which one has less calories or less sodium, etc.

Keep hanging in there!

lolly2721

It is hard when others try to get you to eat with them. I just look at them and say' "No thanks. I really don't want any right now." Kind of gets me off the hook After awhile all of the foods that used to be yummy to you a.k.a. junk food, won't look so appetizing. I saw a cinnamon roll today and before my lifestyle change I would have jumped on it and eaten the whole thing by myself. Today I didn't even want to look at it. It represented the weight I have dropped and could put back on.

I would say to not deprive yourself, but just tell the others that you really can't go out, eat that, or want that. If you do go out, just choose healthier foods. This way you can still spend time with your friends/family. Turn the dinners and lunch into social occasions and not eating occasions. Good luck to you!

Mgetsfit

Actually I think this is the very reason why I always gain weight after I lost some pounds.
I almost never buy chocolate or sweets or very fat things, but if everyone else around you does and the people in your household do as well it is really hard to say "no".

TheFitHooker

I'm gonna agree with my buddy on the first post on this topic, about being a lifestyle change, then I'm gonna also say that just because we have decided to take a different road in life and change ourselves, doesn't mean everyone else has and they might forget, that's why it's important to build up our will power. If you do happen to cave in and go out to eat "Here" or you do decide to have one of them doughnuts, don't go over board, you can still treat yourself once in awhile just don't make an every day habit of it. However you just have to know your limits and take control when you need it. I check calories on every place I think about going, before I buy anything. If it's not in my calorie range I make a choice "Do I want to splurge or do I want to pass?" I am in charge of me.

It'll work out, people will always go on like normal, we are the ones changing. I have to go to work I have more to say on this and if I remember when I get off, I'll write more.

PrettyGirlPayton

First off let me say I am proud of you for your dedication. Second off let me say that nobody can force anything in your mouth. What goes in your mouth was put there because of YOU! If your friends are not eating healthy how can you expect them to just up and say oh she's eating healthy so we won't bother her?? Let's me realistic here hun. All you have to say is no. And you don't have to even be upset about it. It's not that serious! And if you lose 30 pounds I don't see why it's not okay to treat yourself in (MODERATION) Hard work shouldn't be taken advantage of but SOMETIMES REWARDED! I hope this HELPS! You are looking at it the WRONG way! But I see you have lost 5 pounds...Congrats! Keep it up chick!

fatmom51

I find it easier to NOT tell people I'm dieting (watching what I'm eating). That way, I'm totally in control of what I eat -- good or bad -- and if someone notices and comments, I can just say that I'm trying to eat healthier these days. Sometimes people feel like they are experts or know what's best for us. Heck, look at what all of us do on this site.
As for the comments you're getting, sometimes people are just looking for eating buddies/fellow "fatties" because it makes them feel as though they're not so bad either. (I don't know that it's directly sabotage, it's possibly more a case of wanting to alleviate their own guilt about their less than stellar habits.)
They also may not realize that you have the resolve that they don't possess. They figure they'll ask you to participate/share treats because they like when someone asks them and gives them an "excuse" to give in.
I know it's frustrating to you, but I honestly don't think most people are deliberately trying to derail you, though they may be trying to taunt/tease you. I got the sense from your initial statement that you'd like people to be more accommodating when you asked how many times you have to tell them you're on a diet. (I wouldn't mind the offers to go out to lunch or dinner, but I would get annoyed at all the offers of indulgent food. Reminds me of what we sometimes did during Lent -- eating something gooey in front of someone who gave it up and making all kinds of MMMM noises, just to taunt. We were kids, of course, but some people are still immature/silly.)

skimbrough28

Yes, its a lifestyle change and sometimes people are being nice and other times they are just challenging you to see if you mean what you say about changing. The best thing to do is to know what you can eat when you go out. I have a food calculator app on my phone and it helps. Also, just picking something healthy on the menu helps, and keeps people from asking a 1,000 questions about your eating and motivation....you're already hungry, no need to also have to defend everything you eat or drink.

shierrarobin

I have a roommate who will constantly ask me "Can you eat Spaghetti with us tonight?" or "Can you eat Sloppy Joes with us?" and I'll always tell him "No, not unless you get ground turkey or lean ground beef." Then he'll go out and buy fatty meat. Then he'll make the food and give me a guilt trip for not eating it. "I worked really hard making this and you won't even eat a bite of it?" All the while, him and his annoying girlfriend are packing on the pounds.

Believe me, I know how you feel. People who aren't trying to lose weight or change their eating habits don't understand the battle we face. Those who do understand will sometimes intentionally shove food in our faces in order to "test" us. Just keep up what you've been doing and don't let anyone sway your from your goal.

fiberartist219

Sometimes it helps if you can do something with your friends that doesn't involve food, like ask them to go hiking with you. That way, they feel included, but you don't have to eat crap.

Of course, you can't win them all. I have noticed that since a coworker moved to another department, my weight loss progress has been going much better. When she wasn't pushing food on me, she was talking about food, and she was constantly eating junk food at her desk in front of me. Ugh.

smantha32

How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.

except sometimes people ARE actively trying to sabotage your life.
misery loves company and sometimes when people see you taking steps to not be miserable anymore they try to drag you back down.
I find it easiest to just make my changes quietly and not tell the people around me.

leaann3

Sometimes your friends and coworkers sabotage your efforts on purpose! Especially if they do not want you to look better than them! Sometimes, they do it unknowingly though because eating fun tasty foods makes everyone feel better for about 15 seconds! Then, regret sets in! So, stay strong - YOU can do this!

I completely agree! They don't have the willpower to change, so they don't want you to either. Human nature! Stick with it!

I read on a message board the other day to say to people, "I don't eat that," instead of "I can't eat that." I thought that little mind trick was a particularly good idea.

elisa123gal

I agree...the other night a friend kept saying.. "We can split a meal." She had fried catfish. I really got snappy at her. I felt like she was deaf. I told her I was on a 1200 calorie a day diet. We all know fried fish doesn't make the cut on that..especially at the end of the day when all i had was 400 calories left.

It is almost better to not tell anyone..stay home more because going out with foodie or drinking friends will be a disaster. I think it is different after you'v e lost a lot and you can splurge here and there..but when you first start out..the last think you want to do is take a step back!

REALBIGBATBASTARD

parents don't either

RobynMWilson

Lol I stay with my folks for now. Earlier today Mom eats a Tasty Pie in front of me and 2nite the folks pick up cheese steaks for dinner and offer me one. If you're not from the Philly area you probably have no clue what these foods are but trust me, they rate up there with Krispy Kremes and Big Macs lol

miracleharper

you can still go out and eat healthy at the same time. every place you eat out at now has salads. opt for that if they dont have more healthy options. and if they are eating a huge cake or icecream in front of you , just say no thank you and imagine them 500 pounds - smile and say eat up butter cup!

NoAdditives

I lost 35 pounds (before I got pregnant) without being ultra strict. I was "good" most of the time, but didn't feel bad about indulging if we went out.